“Destroying your own life has never been easier,” said Nottaway. “With the power of LinkedIn, users will soon be able to share their favorite surreptitious jailbait photographs with people they know in real life, at unprecedented profits to us.” . . .
Miley Cyrus turns 18 today, breaking purity vows made to the Status Quo. Will she turn into Brittany Spears, or some other celebrity slut? You decide. . . .
Parents beware. Your children are doing drugs inside their video games. The Soviet Chronicle goes nose deep into the world of cocaine video gaming and overdoses on the shit. . . .
One man’s tale of love of JNCOs, and JNCO culture. Juggalo is deep, almost as deep as deez pocketz. /////////WORD . . .
Like your uncircumcised, shriveled up little excuse for a winky, The Chronicle.SU has risen to the call of the next, and possibly last, Miley Cyrus article. . . .
The Elf Wax Times’ team of political analysts project that the publication’s platform of drug use, videogames and name-calling will be all the evidence voters need to make the right decision in 2012. . . .
Miley and her incestuous pimp offer a fresh take on an old sin, and discuss the benefdangers of sexting. . . .
Google collapsed under the weight of its own self-searching, a glitch that has cost many their lives. Why, God, why? . . .
Apocalypse or gift from the Heavens? You decide after we give you one hyper-delusional side of this annual story of Gemini’s Wrath. . . .