John Stoltenberg: “Andrew ‘@rabite’ Auernheimer Only Kidding; No Racist, Sexist”

Much ado has been made persecuting compassionate and considerate member of the online family Andrew Auernheimer, a playful jokester who has brought delight to the faces of millions of Internet users. Monocultural chauvinists in federal law enforcement have run wild with accusations of “computer fraud,” while confused fellow “leftists” like Raw Story Editor Emeritus . . .

NPR EXECUTIVE IMPLIES CRITICISM OF FATAH VERBOTEN

Baltimore – Sunni Khalid posted a “controversial” question on Facebook regarding America’s involvement with Israel and has been fired. Tyler Bass asks why. . . .

The Only True Conspiracy Theory

America now sees what the businessmen who financed the Tea Party intended: Dressed in powdered wigs and wearing red makeup that is actually gore, the Tea Party is shoveling babies into the ocean with pitchforks. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton is gagging Lady Liberty with her gigantic strap-on while trying to save face by praising Al-Jazeera and . . .

NEED TO KNOW: The Modern Survival-list

TERROR ON THE HOMEFRONT – LOCAL HERO LARRY CECIL ADVISES ALL AMERICANS TO PURCHASE AS MANY WEAPONS AS POSSIBLE AND TO IGNORE ALL REQUESTS BY THE ATF, WHO HAVE JUST BEEN LABELED A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION. . . .

Beware of Dawgs

Keep the Change. . . .

Online Gamers Constitute 90 Percent of World's Racists

Playstation Network is the new face of hate in this week’s edition of The Elf Wax Times. How will Sony handle the cries for help? . . .

Meet your new Elf Wax reporter!

The Elf Wax Times is proud to bring you fresh talent and new insight! Join us to learn more about your fearless new writer. . . .