Mitt Romney says Bradley Manning got what he deserved

Hi, I’m Mitt Romney.

Chances are, you voted for me in the 2012 elections and for that, I thank you from the bottom of my cold black heart. Really, I mean it. We didn’t lose that election, by the way. It was stolen. But that’s not what I want to talk to you about today.

This is a message to all American citizens

even the gay ones, because you’re people too

Our government is hunting its political opponents and using the NSA to Hoover stuff up about us and publish it online.

Wow
Wow, Mitt Romney.

During the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, the FBI and NSA teamed up with Qwest Communications International, Inc. – a Lebal Drocer subsidiary – to intercept my emails for about six months during the event. They monitored the content of all email and text messages in the Salt Lake City area.

That includes me.

I’m Mitt Romney, I should have won the election, and that faggot Bradley Manning got what he deserved. It’s because of people like him that we can’t have freedom.

It’s because of Fagley Manning that I lose the election. Now they’re gonna spy superhard on all the rest of you.

And you know what? I’m glad.

I'm Mitt Romney, and I approve this message.

Mitt Romney is owned and operated by Lebal Drocer, Inc.

Mitt Romney Draws Cute Picture of Islam Prophet Muhammed

Mitt Romney Draws Cute Picture of Islam Prophet Muhammad
Using sharpie and posterboard, Mitt Romney discovered a new way to shit on Obama supporters.

“Google is the largest purveyor in existence of sacrosanct images depicting Prophet Muhammad,” Romney said. “And nobody bombs them. But maybe they should.”

And it was the most well spoken thing Romney ever said.

CAPITALISM TO ENSLAVE MANKIND BY 2012

NO PHILOLSOPHIES NO GOLD NO MONEY NO WAGES, JUST SLAVERY

DOW JONES UP 12 POINTS FOLLOWING COLLAPSE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN! “GIVE ME SLAVERY, AND/OR GIVE ME DEATH.”

JUST LIKE YOU ASKED FOR, JUST THE WAY YOU WANT IT – THE BEGINNING OF HUMAN ENSLAVEMENT IS BROUGHT TO YOU PROUDLY BY LEBAL DROCER, INCORPORATED

REDEFINING WHAT IT MEANS TO BE “AMERICAN-OWNED”

STEP RIGHT UP TO BE PUT INTO SHACKLES, MY DEAR LOVING READERS BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING AWAITING YOU – NOTHING BUT FEAR, AND ANXIETY. ACID, WORMING THROUGH YOUR UNUSED BRAINS. NOTHING, BUT A DISTANT SHIMMERING GLIMPSE OF SOME LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL BEYOND WHICH YOU PERCEIVE THERE TO BE SOMETHING
 a god perhaps?

when,

IN ACTUALITY,

IT IS MY HAND

 

THE HAND OF CRONY CAPITALISM

President Mitt Romney attacked his family on live television Sunday during afternoon prayer

VOTE

IN THE NOVEMBER ELECTION FOR YOUR FAVORITE UP-AND-COMING WAR CRIMINAL OF CHOICE,

THE AMERICAN DREAM!

BARACK OBAMA WILL IMPRISON YOU PHYSICALLY. ROMNEY, IDEOLOGICALLY!

 

CHRONICLE.SU - THE LEGEND

 

America.com
President of the People Mitt Romney would not speak to chronicle.su on this matter.

Rick Santorum: top 5 unorthodox views

Haha funny Santorum
Haha Funny Santorum! New episode!

WASHINGTON–Now that Santorum is doing a bunch of stuff, people are literally shitting themselves with excitement as TV news screens flood living rooms with something besides missing white girls. So we’ve decided to take a closer look at the diversion known as campaign politics to see what all the pretend fuss is about. [In {un}related news, there is an uprising in Syria being facilitated – or perhaps suppressed, we don’t know – by Russian forces.WTF ARE YOU LOOKING AT–READ THE FUNNY STORY BELOW . FORGET THIS]

1. Non-whites can be American too

We can agree that English should be the national language but where Santorum departs from his Republican constituents is on the issue of whether Americans should be white. To good Christians such as ourselves, the answer is a resounding “YES!” but Mr. Santorum, perhaps by design, is being a tad generous to non-whites by not calling them out for being part of an unAmerican race.

2. College is for snobs

It’s no secret that anti-intellectualism is on the decline in America, so we’re happy to see Santorum standing up to the dreamers. It is truly disgusting that my neighbors, or my children think they deserve better than what circumstances allotted me: a life of alcoholism and watching prime time television. Hey, I didn’t choose to be this way, but I’m happy. What’s college going to do for you that Jeopardy don’t do for me? There’s a reason America doesn’t manufacture anymore, and it’s because we got to many educated motherfuckers running around with they dicks in they hands. Well done, Mr. President-to-be!

3. “John F. Kennedy’s religion speech was wrong.”

You’re god damn right it was. In February (Slack history month), Santorum made headlines after he told reporters John F. Kennedy’s religion speech made him want to “throw up.”

Santorum wants privatization of industry, not faith. With Obamacare this, and bailout that, American people don’t know who to believe anymore. And without the Bible, I guess they’re just not allowed to believe anything, thanks to John F. Kennedy, President of Marxism.

Time and time again, we’re going to see Santorum bravely standing up to people without religion, whose ambivalent belief systems are “as dangerous as the wars they also don’t believe in,” according to Santorum.

“It’s like saying, ‘Go to Hell, Jesus.'”

Mrs. Karen Santorum, a trustworthy source of santorum

Jesus is with you always
"Go to Hell, Jesus!"

4. Birth control is morally wrong

First of all, Santorum should not be taking flak for this: birth control is disgusting – FACT – Artificial contraception deprives the miracle of life to every rope of come, regardless of whether it contained the sperm that would later cure cancer, solve the debt crisis, create another debt crisis, become president, assassinate the president, smoke weed in its parents basement forever, or all of the above, including future Popes and Jesus II.

If you think you’re doing that girl any favors by pulling out, you’re dead wrong. It doesn’t matter what the woman says, if you’re going to come, there’s going to be a baby in nine months; end of story.

“We don’t budge on this issue.”

Chronicle.su executive editor Media Mogul, High Command

5. No corporate taxes for manufacturers

America has gotten too comfortable with her high standard of living. A cushy $7.55 minimum wage has turned an entire generation into Communist entitlement babies. Economy is becoming America’s number one issue.

“Now that twelve hours per week is considered part-time,” boasted Border’s Books Senior Executive Mike Flannahy, “my employees are practically drowning in pure economy, especially now that we pay them completely in copper pennies. It makes it seem like a lot more than they’re really getting.”

If Santorum can stop taxing large corporations, then it is estimated by his finance committee CEOs and shareholders will donate major portions of their free-flowing profits to social programs such as public schools and transit systems, “as a thank you, because , God bless America.”