Chronicle.su Reader Detained For Association With Website

CHRONICLE.SU RUN BY UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT
chronicle.su is a government operation.

INTERNET – Comedy fans were mortified Wednesday after learning their beloved, subversive satire news site is in fact a government operation dedicated to uncovering dissenters and information terrorists.

Documents reveal sites such as anonnews.org, #AnonOps, and chronicle.su were established as part of a plot to lure and entrap would-be radical thinkers, in a government campaign sometimes referred to as a “honey pot.”

Additionally, The Internet Chronicle is tasked with disseminating false information about chemtrail science and the Illuminati to discredit legitimate movements.

Immediately following the leak, federal agencies moved fast to stage late-night raids throughout Monday and Tuesday, targeting direct subscribers to the site.

At least one Anonymous user was detained indefinitely after posting a question at the bottom of an Internet Chronicle article asking, “Serious question – are you guys looking for writers?

American Civil Liberties Union Attorney Jim Buckerman said his Anonymous client is being unfairly accused of subversive thinking. Buckerman said his client “is not a thinker – subversive or otherwise.”

“My client is a good man. He has a family. He goes to work and he comes home. He has a beer. He watches MSNBC, and he goes to bed, dreaming of unchallenged American hegemony,” Buckerman said. “My client would not be caught dead reading The Internet Chronicle – a publication created by socialists, dope dealers – and worse.”

Buckerman said agents held his client down and asked him if he thought chronicle.su was “funny.”

“My client said in a statement that two men in suits pushed their knees into his back, holding him down on the ground. ‘Do you think Miley Cyrus is a f—— joke?’ They asked him, ‘Do you think the law doesn’t apply to you, because you’re on the Internet? Do you think chronicle.su is funny?’ to which my client responded, ‘No, no,’ and emphatically, ‘no.'”

Anyone found retweeting chronicle.su links, or suggesting The Internet Chronicle to friends may ultimately serve government interests, but that did not prevent readers from finding themselves on an “internet watch list” – which often leads to intrusive NSA backdoors, having personal emails read by secret agents, and being made fun of around the FBI office for obsessively googling “is this rash normal?”

The government released a statement Wednesday morning saying they do not comment on cybersecurity measures.

The Internet Chronicle is not the first case where the government has attempted to unearth dissent. World-renowned satirist and writer for The Onion Barrett Brown was arrested for linking people to his work with Project Persona Management, paralleling the works of Sabu, Abbie Hoffman and Jamie Jo Corne.

Security analysts project The Internet Chronicle will likely shut down or be repurposed to suit the cybersecurity needs of smaller, less digitized nations.

fucking wordpress

False-flag OpLastResort Releases Personal Information of Local Bank Employees

INTERNET — Well under 9.000 files (a paltry 4,000) representing the IP addresses, logins, and personal home addresses of small-time employees at local banks were allegedly released on Monday by “Anonymous” hackers. This information was posted on alabama.gov, along with a message claiming the data was obtained from the Federal Reserve. Some early reporting claims this information was posted on Pastebin.com. However, the only Pastebin link traded publicly by members of #OpLastResort contains only the insane rants of Aaron Bale. Anonymous also repeated the claim that they have long-term footholds in government computer systems. This release was coordinated with cooperation from advocacy journalist “Violet Blue,perhaps to beat more skeptical coverage to the punch.

We support your narrative because it is ours. Now that is quality reporting!
We support your narrative because it is ours. Now that is quality reporting!

“The hacktivist entity dropped enough technical details to make it clear that its tracks were covered and that Anonymous still had access to .gov websites,” said Violet Blue’s article published on ZDNET. Exemplary of what not to do when covering statements issued by hacking groups, the mere mention of “technical details” has reinforced an extraordinary narrative. Certainly these profoundly extraordinary claims from Anonymous require extraordinary evidence. However, this evidence is not mentioned or cited in any depth beyond this short sentence, dangling on its own mere absurd assertion. Even more, it is a dangerous and apparently unfounded endorsement of a terroristic threat designed to drain the government of resources.

This action has drawn strong comparisons to a past Anonymous operation manufactured by federal agents. “Anonymous,” led by FBI agent Sabu, hacked the open-source intelligence publication Stratfor, mischaracterizing it as a “Shadow CIA.” Using this information on Christmas eve, Sabu led “Anonymous” to target low-level journalists, raiding their bank accounts to make donations that would later be returned to the journalists after the charities were penalized.

Investigators at Chronicle.SU have been unable to find any proof that the information on 4,000 bank employees exists, as the alabama.gov website on which it was allegedly posted has since been taken offline. However, Violet Blue has reported on it (citing broken hyperlinks to alabama.gov), so therefore it must be true. Aaron Bale, spokesperson for the operation, refused to provide a link to the information for Chronicle.SU, accusing the glorious and infallible publication of cooperation with the US government, “[N]o one knows what [yo]ur talking about. At least sabu was lulzy and relevant. Fed money doesn’t buy what it used to.”

Chronicle.SU is wholly owned and operated by Lebal Drocer, Inc., a subsidiary of the United Soviet Socialist Democratic Republic of Cuthbert, Georgia, a sovereign entity and economic powerhouse leading the South to Rise Again in the name of its Dear Islamic Leader, the Loyal and Moral Raghubir Goyal.

Lurk moar: Ryan Cleary violates bail after talking to Sabu, goes directly to jail

Ryan Cleary
Ryan Cleary was seen wearing the same clothes during his March arrest as when he was arrested last summer, but according to eyewitness reports, "looked more like a zombie this time."

LONDON — Internet snitch Ryan Cleary‘s lawyer made no attempt to defend her client’s retardation Saturday as she told chronicle.su he has been in prison since March 5 for talking to Sabu over Christmas, a violation of his bail.

Even though Sabu was, by that time, fully employed by the FBI, Ryan and a few other people who don’t read chronicle.su still thought he was on their side, and probably said some criminal-ass shit to him.

Cleary is lurking Chelmsford Prison near London.

He will go before a judge in May alongside LulzSec‘s very own Jake Davis, a.k.a. Topiary.

State of the Internet address

People can’t really do anything meaningful without the media labeling it. People can’t have a loud enough voice without being labeled a “spokesperson.” (see: Bob Dylan of the 1960s)

See also: Moralfag Anonymous decidedly fucked

Identifying every single thing that happens with a keyword destroys any value it might have accrued on an Internet flooded with “news” blogs whose sole purpose is to sell advertising space. We should know. Look to the right –>

anonymous
Alex Jones stole this to use at disinfo.org

You can’t find an informative, well-written article about something anymore because it has been totally buried by ignorance, or worse – pure disinformation – contained in forty five thousand pages “optimized” for search engines.

The spread of information doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong. A poisonous ideology will often spread faster than a useful one. For example, the idea that Anonymous, by its very “nature,” can’t be corrupted was so absurd, we just had to report on it. Remember Sabu? Arrested June 7th: Check ’em.

“It’s become an awful disease.”

Kilgore Trout, legendary inventor of Anon Porn, now known as “Sexy Fawkes”

As a satire site, the chronicle.su is compelled to produce disinformation culture faster than society can arrive at it naturally, just to prove that it’s possible, just because we can.

So, keep at it Internet. We’re always right behind you . . . or a step ahead of you.

Frank Mason
Editor, chronicle.su

OFFICIAL ANONYMOUS COMMUNICATION FROM SABU

Comrades,

I have received the first communication from Sabu since the twisted story about him being a snitch was published by Fox News. As it turns out, Sabu purposefully got himself V&, in hopes that this day would come, fully knowing the way that the Government would try to smear him. But we are Anonymous and we will always find the truth. Tonight, Sabu delivered me the truth.

The FBI was dealt a mortal blow as Sabu used his FBI connections to hack Stratfor and save the world. Sabu knew that the FBI would team up with Fox News to tell us all the lie that he was a rat, but he thought ahead. All those angry rants against snitches? You got it, that was a code. It meant, “I was working as a triple agent every step of the way!” How fucking Genius of Sabu, to purposefully get himself v&! ALL the documents from the FBI are falsified and the testimonials of him getting arrested and claiming to be an FBI agent is yet another fabrication in this extremely convoluted but all-to-plausible scenario. The coup de grace is Stratfor, which could have never been attained had Sabu not infiltrated the FBI as he did. When Sabu’s court day comes you can be sure it will be under Terrorism NDAA guidelines and no one will even see Sabu make the OUTRAGEOUS claim that he actually infiltrated the FBI and then the government, as usual, will enforce a TOTAL MEDIA BLACKOUT on this story so no one knows how great Sabu really was.

Sabu Saved the World by Outing Stratfor.

NEVER BELIEVE THE FBI

NEVER BELIEVE FOX NEWS

ALWAYS BELIEVE IN ANONYMOUS

WE ARE SAVING THE WORLD

WE DO NOT FORGIVE

WE KINDA FORGOT ABOUT JESSIE SLAUGHTER

IS THIS ALL SOME SICK JOKE???

ANOTHER MEME TURNED UNFUNNY???

OH GOD, OH GOD!!!!!!

THIS POLITICAL MOVEMENT IS JUST… ITS ONLY…. LIKE MILHOUSE ON REDDIT MAKING JOKES ABOUT RICK SANTORUM

EXPECT US

Sabu: Fall From Grace

[10:16:53 PM] Frank Mason:

The biggest named hacker in the world right now used to endorse chronicle.su until we found out he’s working for the FBI. Then he decided he hates us. He wrote nasty stuff about us. Nobody believed us when we warned them he’s working with the government. About three days ago, news hit that Sabu is the biggest snitch in online criminal history, revealing that Hector Xavier Monsegur, his true identity, has been working from within FBI offices since early August of last year.
We were right, before anyone else was.

How I got close to Sabu [and sniffed him out]

I was close friends with Sabu and he had not yet learned to distrust the lethal journo-satirist combo that I turned out to be, so our friendship began something like this:

2011-07-26 @ANONYMOUSABU

July 5, 2011 3:45 p.m. EST
I often lurk as Gacy but changed my name so Sabu could identify me.

Gacy: Hey Sabu
Sabu: hi
Hatefiend: I write for Chronicle.SU
Hatefiend: I don’t want to see you put away. The A-team bullshit, though.
Sabu: theres no need to worry mate, I’m nto being out away
Sabu: all that dox and info is failed/incorrect/or disinfo
Sabu: btw thanks for those articles they’ve been great :)
Hatefiend: That’s a relief, like you don’t even know.
Hatefiend: And thank you, it’s a huge compliment coming from you.
Sabu: no problem
Sabu: if theres anything I can do to help Chronicle.SU by all means take advantage now mate
Sabu: cause at this point hal of the worlds agencies are after me
Sabu: dont be surprised if you see interpol.int warrants on me
Sabu: half*
Sabu: haha
Sabu: I feel like I’m sounded a bit overzealous but sadly its the truth
Sabu: .win 285
Hatefiend: You gave me hope where there was none before.
Sabu: thanks mate. and you’re giving me more motivation
Hatefiend: If people carry this trend forward, then you’ll always live on. I hope you have a good-looking face, because I am afraid it’s only a matter of time before it becomes associated with the movement.
Sabu: indeed. I’m handsome methinks don’t worry about that. I’ll make sure to stash a top hat in my house in case I am raided
Sabu: and if media is there
Sabu: I’ll come out with class
Sabu: :D
Hatefiend: What could you possibly do for the Chronicle.SU?
Sabu: not sure, wear a chronicle.su shirt while I get raided?
Sabu: so its all over the news
Sabu: and all you see is CHRONICLE.SU and my handsome ass in a tophat and a pair of boxers
Sabu: I’ll be put into a fucking mental asylum honestly
Hatefiend: lol’d
Sabu: not sure man just let me know if there is anything I can do
Hatefiend: I remember back when you guys were taking hack requests, I had a really good one in mind but now I can’t remember it.
Hatefiend: Maybe we could do an interview soon?
Hatefiend: Like, about your daily life
Hatefiend: who you respect
Hatefiend: stuff like that
Hatefiend: The guy who makes our t-shirts said he’d try to work something out with you.

Tyler Bass of chronicle.su obtained the world’s very first interview with LulzSec.

LulzSec uniquely inspired many creative individuals, such as ourselves, to tap into our roots and what makes us laugh. It was all about the lulz.

SABU-KICKER
This is a kicker image used to introduce an article. Hugo Carvalho was incorrectly identified as Sabu July 13, 2011. Click the picture for the relevant, but incorrect story.

July 27, 2011

Topiary of LulzSec fame is one of the first people to take the fall under sabu’s tyranny. If you know the whole story, you might think it’s a bit early in the game to make that call, but perhaps you forgot you’re reading the fucking chronicle.su and need to be reminded that not only are we funny, lovable guys, but we’re also way smarter than you.

Sabu happily accepted any conspiracy theory regarding Topiary I could invent on his behalf, as he deflected accusations of his own:

July 26, 2011 4:42 a.m. EST

Hatefiend: how ya been man
Sabu: I’ve been good mate
Sabu: and you?
Hatefiend: recovering from a collapsed lung.
Hatefiend: it might’ve recollapsed tonight. I’m gonna wait it out
Sabu: you serious man?
Sabu: I’m sorry to hear that
Hatefiend: yep. this is old brutus btw. thanks broseph
Sabu: I hope you recover soon
Hatefiend: i appreciate it
Sabu: you sounded good on the radio wtf you’re a pro
Hatefiend: me too
Hatefiend: thanks, but I pause quite a bit for a “pro”
Sabu: haha
Sabu: been reading the site. you guys are doing great
Sabu: honestly you’re literally something we need for #voice project
Hatefiend: well we’re just doing what we do, man.
Hatefiend: I appreciate your compliments
Sabu: ;)
Hatefiend: that drunk bitch in washington, melissa hopkins, actually thought my interview with topiary was real
Hatefiend: asking why it didn’t go mainstream
Sabu: ROFL
Sabu: I know man
Sabu: people are slow
Sabu: I had literally
Sabu: like
Sabu: 20 tweets and 50 messages here
Sabu: OMFG IS IT TRUE
Sabu: no..
Hatefiend: looool
Hatefiend: that’s great
Sabu: I should have said yes
Hatefiend: it couldn’t hurt, dude. he’s been quiet from his personal account so it would’ve fit the conspiracy
Hatefiend: well shit I am gonna probably actually go to the hospital and get a chest x-ray now. It’s getting painful
Sabu: ok brother
Sabu: good luck and becareful
Sabu: let me know how it goes when you get back
Hatefiend: thanks. i keeps it real. catch you later man. I’ll be in touch

July 26, 2011

Sabu loves chronicle.su - as long as we're preaching the party line
Sabu loved chronicle.su – as long as we echoed the party line he and the feds were preaching.

I spoke some meaningful words on behalf of our dear friend, Topiary:

[audio:http://chronicle.su/Vince%20in%20the%20Bay%20-%20Topiary%20Arrested.mp3|titles=Vince in the Bay – Topiary Arrested]

Sabu’s Twitter account fell silent for about one week while the feds processed him. As high profile as his disappearance was, rumors indicating Sabu had been caught with his pants down were readily dispelled with a lie about some dead grandmother of his who never existed.

[10:22:37 PM] Frank Mason:

He started offering sums of money to people out of nowhere, to hack this system, or that one.

6:17:22 PM virus: he gave me IPs, asked me to access their accounts with their IP and asked me to access their emails
6:17:25 PM virus: told me he would pay me
6:17:42 PM Sam Biddle: did you?
6:17:53 PM virus: no, I found that to be suspicious and declined

[10:23:06 PM] Frank Mason:

I joined him in IRC for a private chat, and his attitude toward me had shifted. I soon found myself perched safely on the outside of Sabu’s circle of trust. Because chronicle.su didn’t play the game Sabu wanted us to play, he disregarded all my further efforts to reach him.

Sabu’s attitude toward me shifted further as I began pressing him for details as to why he sucked my best buddy Topiary back into LulzSec after he knew the feds had a fix on him – but not before he publicly dodged my public line of questioning altogether:

[10:24:03 PM] Frank Mason:

Little did I know Sabu had already been at Kilgore Trout’s throat because Trout had just revealed Sabu’s role as a government informant:

Sabu butthurt
I don’t see why he was so mad. Nobody believed us anyway.

[10:24:50 PM] Frank Mason:

Topiary was a good writer, and friend to chronicle.su. Better than Sabu. Sabu destroyed that young boy’s life, who was only out to have a bit of fun. When shit got heavy, Jake Davis stepped out because all Jake wanted to do was write satire and fuck with Murdoch, and play XBOX and read his science fiction. He didn’t want to be involved in this shit but Sabu lured him back in like a trapdoor spider, knowing full well the gravity of Topiary’s (Jake’s) situation, because Sabu was working for the feds. Jake is scheduled to enter his plea May 11.

As recently as last month, Sabu the Snitch [inappropriately] hung another, even younger boy, Charrie Wongz, out to dry:

Fill this out

“You got rats amongst ya,” part of a John Tiessen rantshow

You got rats amongst ya, man
You lost all credibility
Once ya have a rat in you, amongst you – the people even associating with the rats – they get whacked, they go down.
That’s how ya deal with rats, you don’t have nothing to do with ‘em.
You go into a place and there’s rats in there, you get out of there. There’s rats in there.
You’re getting played by the fucking government. Writing programs and doing things for them to go into Egypt. You’re being played. They’re playing you. You say you’re playing the government, you’re being played. They’re so fucking far over your heads you don’t know what the fuck’s going on. You got people helpin’ ya, givin you little programs. Here, have this, it’ll protect your IP address. Credibility is out. It’s done.

STRATFOR HACK A FALSE FLAG!

SABU was working with the FBI when Stratfor was hacked

Sabu, leader of both AntiSec and LulzSec, was actually working with the FBI during the Christmas hack of STRATFOR, and the entire meaning of this event has come into question. Is it possible that what has become the biggest story for WikiLeaks in several months was actually planned by the FBI from the outset? Analysts suggest that yes, this entire leak was designed from the ground up by the FBI to discredit the hacktivism movement. In fact, the bizarre and uncharacteristic move by Anonymous to work with WikiLeaks was the first sign something was not right.

Experts have all agreed that Stratfor is actually not a well-connected intelligence agency, but instead a bumbling assortment of analysts who are mostly amateurs. Many of the outlandish statements made by amateurs at Stratfor have been blown out of proportion and taken out of context. This is exactly what law enforcement wants, because it discredits Anonymous, WikiLeaks, and most importantly Julian Assange.

In related news, Barrett Brown’s apartment was raided, but he was not arrested. This can only mean that Barrett Brown is most likely working with the FBI as well.

Are Occupy Wall Street, Antisec, and Anonymous losing relevance?

We haven’t tried much, and it has all failed. Overlapping values, trending #revolution on Twitter, video evidence of wrongdoing – could not rescue our society from the bonds of greed, nor could it free us from tyranny. Peacefully.

In fact, a year later, we are less free. Every privilege we assumed was a right, and every ounce of security we felt buckled under the pressure of a thousand guns turned on 100,000 protesters, peace taken by force, and won’t be returned. Peacefully.

Anonymous could barely turn out a swastiget in Habbo Hotel, forget a fucking legitimate protest. These kids are young, mad, and they just barely know why. Scientology? If you want to protest a dangerous, dehumanizing cult responsible for the embezzlement and conning billions out of innocent people, why don’t you protest “Billy Graham, Oral Roberts, and all the other evangelists who save.” Pick any branch of Christianity and you’ll find a more rampant, systematic con-job operation than Scientologists, in all their scientific wizardry, could invent. Peacefully.cat

Protesting at Wall Street proved, once and for all, that no amount of begging will dry up the greed overabsorbed into the sopping wet hearts of corporate American CEOs, bank presidents and politicians. Protesting the federal government without ten million dollars is like showing up to Wal-Mart without ten dollar bills. If you want something, be ready to spend. That’s Lesson Number One.

Lesson Number Two: In 1976, Buckley v. Valeo decided spending money on campaign contributions is free speech. Did a panel of judges, thoughtful men of experience and wisdom, really not stop to consider, “If spending money is free speech, then isn’t absence of money the absence of speech?” Alas, whether they did or did not dissent is yesterday’s question; now, more than ever, politicos are in the pockets of corporations, financial schemers and worst of all – bankers.

The conditional response to force, is sooner or later, going to be force. I am not condoning violence, but I see us going down that road – once the fragile computer geeks and straight women get out of the way, of course. Then, there’ll be true change. When men own men again, there’ll be revolt.

So what if Occupy Wall Street “opened the dialog” like it didn’t already exist in print. The Occupy movement was misrepresented in television, we all know it was, so stop watching television. They’re the ones you’re protesting, you stupid fucks!

#OWS was a “test run” for what, exactly? Future failures, or the police? Because I look at the police, and they got their exercise, alright. Every precinct near a medium-sized city got to play with a bunch of new toys and spray neat and interesting colors into people’s faces. People who just sat there. On a sidewalk. On phones. Shit, there were so many consumers at this anti-corporate protest, anybody old enough to remember the 70s is hard-pressed to see what is the matter with those rich kids on TV, getting maced and beaten.

#Antisec, trying really hard to attach to our anti-banking, anti-finance sentiments, is making up hacks and reaching for literally anything that makes them look rebellious, even the names of innocent, elderly citizens. No thanks, Sabu, I already have a phone book. Also, I should direct your attention to what I thought was an obvious fact: that you’re doing a valuable free service to the shit-eating 1% out there who couldn’t be hassled to pay experts to ensure the protection of their own customers data.

“Great vulnerability checking! I’ll write the check out to Anonymous.”

-CEO, Bank of Unfairica

The status quo is, in and of itself, cancer. Therefore Antisec is AIDS, Anonymous is cancer, and the Occupy movement will be a time on which we look back and say, “Damn, I should have stood up and hit that motherfucker back.”

[ Editor’s Note: Antisec was barely worth mentioning, and Old Brutus is an asshole for doing so. However their decline signals the disappearance of the last substantial online collective. The Antisec movement, having departed from LulzSec, is no longer funny, and in fact pointlessly contrary to their purported goals of creating instability by attacking networks. ]

Chronicle.SU is WRONG

Adrian Chen hates satire
Adrian Chen attempts to block the view of Tlingit masks he said are "also wrong."

I’m Adrian Chen, and I know many things. I mean, there are a lot of things I know. I know stuff about politics, the Internet and hacktivism because I myself am a troll hacktivist. I try really hard to know as much as possible about what Anonymous tweets, and especially LulzSec, Sabu and reddit.com. But what I know most of all to be most factual and more true than any other fact on the Internet, is that the Chronicle.SU is wrong.

They are wrong about many things, especially the stuff I know more about than they do. I write for a website called Gawker, which is never wrong, and always right. In fact, since I can’t seem to find any satire websites with balls enough to tackle hacktivism on the internet, I am thinking about starting my own satire site, in which I replace the word “write” with “right” – because I am always right! (I’m a righter! Get it?)

One of the things Chronicle.SU is wrong about is Sabu of LulzSec and #AntiSec being a brown guy named Hugo. They are especially wrong about that because they wrongly Photoshopped an image of Hugo’s face as the leader of #ANTISEC, the group competing against Anonymous for most lulz. WRONG! He’s not the leader, fucking idiots! Sabu is! And Sabu isn’t Hugo! Jesus.

Adrian Trolls
Chen: "Chronicle.SU was also wrong when they said I was wrong about who invented Anonymous porn. I knew Chronicle.SU already invented Anon porn. I wasn't wrong. I was just trolling them behind their backs because that's how Adrian rolls."

You know, if the Chronicle.SU was a satire website, this would almost be forgivable, even though LulzSec is no laughing matter, but this is an egregious error on the part of Chronicle.SU Editors, right on up to the executives and I’m speaking out!

If I were the owner of that newspaper, and it wasn’t some socialist experiment of a defunct military state like the Soviet Union, I’d call a company-wide meeting to talk about fact-checking and making sure we never run anything wrong, ever again. Because like I said earlier, Gawker has never run a single wrong thing – not with MY name attached to it, they haven’t. The Chronicle.SU is the most inaccurate, least factual source of information I’ve ever read. And yet, I keep coming back for more! It’s sickening.

I have a message for you Chronicle.SU readers out there who fall consistently for their lies and disinformation. You ready for it? Here it is, BIG NEWS BABY HERE WE GO:

The Chronicle.SU is a propaganda tool of the disinformation arm of the United States Government.

During Psy-Operative campaigns by the CIA, the Chronicle.SU was imbedded in IRC chats distributing pro-wikileaks articles and information so biased toward truth we jokingly called it truth-propaganda around the Gawker office. And they released DDoS instructions, toolkits and PHP-based starter kits to help lies spread faster, no matter what they were; they even helped build the Louise Boat. Simply disgusting.

Get a clue. Avoid Chronicle.SU