Churches “cave” to safe sex activists

Pastor Freida Phelps said, “There’s nothing in the bible against dryhumping, and as far as I can tell, sex with a condom is just dryhumping with penetration. In God’s eyes, that ain’t even sex.” . . .

Pope Francis to star in new A&E reality TV show “Pope Primacy”

“Recently for the show, they had him hug a severely disfigured man, and I just thought, ‘You guys have gone too far,’ but no — the people loved it. . . .

Anonymous spawns new type of pr0n

AnonPr0n breaks new ground in fapping. . . .

New Century American Motto

Witness the flower unfold, wither and die, and become the dirt again. And then watch the dirt fry. . . .

Miley Cyrus Upskirts For All.

Miley and her incestuous pimp offer a fresh take on an old sin, and discuss the benefdangers of sexting. . . .

Pirates awash with Windows 7 theft orgy

Pirates have released an automatically-validating, automatically-updating edition of Windows 7. Those giving bastards! . . .

The Elf Wax Times Boasts Monumental Success

The Elf Wax Times has exploded onto your computer screen like a poorly-timed orgasm. Read more to find out how literal this disgusting metaphor really is! . . .

I'd like to sext you up

There are little girls who trail behind mommy or daddy through Anytown, USA, staring down into their twiddling hands at what is without fail – and without question – a cell phone. . . .

Facebook drinking at an all-time high

Getting drunk and sitting at Facebook is the new way to party, and Elf Wax Times goes in-depth to find out why, and with whom we can score. . . .

Your daughter's a whore, and not even the good kind

A brutal assessment of today’s American Dad, using excessive vulgarity and disturbing, offensive honesty. . . .