Final Shuttle Launch Signifies Total Apathy Toward Human Progress

This article can be safely ignored, because it is about the space shuttle which is now irrelevant. Not like that makes a difference to you, though, because you never cared in the first place. . . .

Murderous Syrian Leader Just Wants Citizens To See Things His Way

The Syrian people relentlessly attack their emotionally helpless President Bashar al-Assad. Will they ever come around? Read more to find out! . . .

HEY GUESS WHAT? MORE WAR!

Murder-Mom Casey Anthony goes to war against large-tittied Kim Kardashian, who said the gorgeous and camera-friendly Casey Anthony killed her own photogenic baby. We got your attention yet? Obama wants to go to war with Libya. . . .

The Only True Conspiracy Theory

America now sees what the businessmen who financed the Tea Party intended: Dressed in powdered wigs and wearing red makeup that is actually gore, the Tea Party is shoveling babies into the ocean with pitchforks. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton is gagging Lady Liberty with her gigantic strap-on while trying to save face by praising Al-Jazeera and . . .

Koyaanisqatsi

This is an interpretation of the movie, “Koyaanisqatsi”. . . .

New Video Game Subverts Morality

Parents beware. Your children are doing drugs inside their video games. The Soviet Chronicle goes nose deep into the world of cocaine video gaming and overdoses on the shit. . . .

miley-cyrus-lapdance-video

Like your uncircumcised, shriveled up little excuse for a winky, The Chronicle.SU has risen to the call of the next, and possibly last, Miley Cyrus article. . . .

VOTING DOES NOT MATTER

There are many people who will say I am the ignorant one, to encourage voter apathy. To that, I say: I encourage voting; only with guns. . . .

When Families Grieve – A Very Special PBS Special

Lockheed-Martin pays Elmo and some other puppets go on PBS tonight to tell kids how to cope with death as a result of suicide, illness and war. . . .

PROTEST IN D.C.

Anti-war protest takes off in Washington, D.C. Live coverage right here at Elf Wax – just for the hell of it. . . .