INTERNET — Fans mourn the loss of former President Donald Trump, who was found dead at the bottom of a staircase at his imperial suite in Mar-A-Lago, Florida. President Trump is warmly remembered for hundreds of firings as the host of the reality television show The Apprentice, his brand of top quality Angus beef steaks, and his appearance in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.
Coroner Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador told reporters, “He wasn’t too healthy to begin with, and we found him at the bottom of the stairs with bruises all over his body after he suffered a cardiac arrest.”
When asked about any indications of foul play, Dr. Troubador told reporters, “If there was any foul play involved here, it was the criminal amounts of sodium and fat in the fast food diet that Trump was living on for so many decades.”
Fans and haters across the nation gathered for vigils and protests which erupted into confrontations, violence, and the desecration of sacred memorials.
QAnon founder Jim Watkins was arrested with his son Ron Watkins at the Arlington National Cemetery moments after a failed attempt to extinguish the eternal flame at the grave of President John F. Kennedy.
Witnesses said the elder Watkins stretched his arms to the sky and screamed, “The storm is upon us!” as lighting blasted across the Washington DC skyline. Watkins fell to his knees where he began shuddering and mumbling, “JFK! Q++! 4, 10, 20, CLOWNS! Pres is not dead, I repeat, Q+ is not dead!”
The younger Watkins’ eyes grew wide with surprise as he announced to onlookers, “He has channeled the voice of Q, the authentic voice of Q! Glory, Glory! Trump lives!”