The Anti-Leader’s Handbook

The following text is not a guide for keyboard warriors, armchair activists, or other outspoken cultists. It is not a work of fiction. Nor is it non-fiction. This is not a handbook for making problems worse by promoting one cult or another. In fact, this guide is designed to backfire when used by cultists. That’s a good thing, because even the most effective Anti-Leaders have not yet found a way to fully escape their clutches.

Every person is usually a member of at least a thousand cults, his or her mind perverted by systems of belief enforced from without by a criminally law-abiding society. Some might call this point of view creepy, misanthropic, or antisocial, but these are just terms created by cultists to marginalize anti-cultists.

After reading this, some may decide it is a whacked out conspiracy theorist’s cookbook or a silly dissertation about pulling pranks on dimwitted cultists. Wrong! Others might think this is a sick joke, a work of satire, an extended troll, or the ramblings of a totally delusional madman. Lies! This is the birth of ten thousand Anti-Leaders and the beginning of the end for Truth, History, Politics, and all other delusions imposed on humanity by the Great Collective of Vile Cults. This knowledge has been secretly handed down through the ages by previous Anti-Leaders, none of whom have been remembered by history, but all of whom have had more impact on reality than any president, general, king, queen, artist, author, scientist, or astronaut.

The word ‘cult’ has developed a decidedly negative connotation, although in this work it should be understood that such negativity is directed by the author at the irrational spread of belief rather than the well-intentioned individuals who are totally unaware of their own cultist nature.

From the isolation of a remote cabin, the safety of an abandoned fallout shelter, or the ultimate alienation of an inner-city apartment complex, obsessive Anti-Leaders work tirelessly to one day carve out a small space on the Cult Plane where the psychic domination of cultists may never reach.

Anonymous is the machine

        The majority of this handbook deals with Anonymous and its cultist nature. Like any other counterculture, Anonymous is just another trendy club for the cool kids. The debate about what it means to be Anonymous is as endless as it is contradictory, and many half-baked ideas about Anarchy and Collectivism have been handed down from the Punks and Hippies without Anonymous even realizing it. Throw together some glittering language about the magic of the Internet and the power of decentralization, and it all sounds very novel. Yet in the end, it doesn’t really mean anything at all to be Anonymous. It’s just another style built from the mold of American countercultures which are themselves built from the same old tired mold of mainstream Western culture. Yes Anonymous, now is an appropriate time to shed a collective tear. Anonymous has been drawn back into the machine it sprung from.

        The government behavior Anonymous is most opposed to is exactly the behavior it participates in the most. For instance, the censorship of WikiLeaks through pressure from the US government shocked and angered thousands of previously uninvolved people who then joined Anonymous in a string of denial of service campaigns which lasted for many months. This was likened to virtual sit-ins by some, but “denial of service” is practically synonymous with censorship. Anonymous is also generally very opposed to state surveillance, yet Anonymous publishes a constant stream of embarrassing personal information about anyone who might be an enemy. Friends, families, or business associates of enemies are also very common targets. Quite often, massive dumps of stolen data will embarrass complete innocents with absolutely no connection to any enemies of Anonymous. Anonymous is the same machine as the US government.

“Oh but you’re just focusing on all the bad things Anonymous does! Don’t you know they’re saving the world from an imminent dystopian 4-letter acronym fear law that’s FINALLY going to take away all our rights?”

        It’s a fool’s errand to try to write a manual that will fix Anonymous because Anonymous is not a thing. It’s an idea, but the key is in realizing it’s not even a new one. There have been many countercultures and they’ve all fallen into the same trap as Anonymous, blindly opposing cultist oppression by creating their own sad “new” brand of cult conformity. Resistance to the conspiratorial oppression of too much wealth is not new ground. There is no glory or purpose to trailblazing this same old territory because the feds already own it all! But there is still hope, a gleaming light at the end of the tunnel. A single acorn which is the Great Oak Tree of Harmonic Dissonance. There is a secret society, the Anti-Leader society, where resistance and conformity have merged into an unholy cult-killing union without becoming yet another self-destroying fad like Anonymous. Oh, they say there are no leaders in Anonymous, but that’s because they’re all leaders. All of them are driven to make wilder threats, hack more insane targets, spew stupider propaganda, and just basically act more and more like an idiot because it makes them feel important. Oh, this manual is not for people who want to feel important but rather for those who want to be important. Welcome to the realm of the Anti-Leader. Beware, members of Anonymous!

Making it

        Very important people have millions of followers on Twitter, fans on Facebook, and views on YouTube. Celebrities provide content to unsuspecting minds which are pre-brainwashed. These famous folks just seem so happy defining what it means to be cool and building vast personality cults while they make millions of dollars, but really they are powerless pawns.

Zealously dedicated fans buy whatever it takes to appease their not-so-deeply hidden desire to actually be whatever famous person they worship most. Slowly, they convince themselves through the ritual of consumerism that they always have been just like their favorite rock star, businessman, writer, politician, or celebrity chef. Their wallets spill open for another hit of that fame and power, and each vote sends shuddering waves of self-importance down their spines.

However, the thirst for importance is not always satiated so easily. Each celebrity has a legion of imitators dedicating every last ounce of their being to becoming the next important whoever. Oh, sure, they’ll put their own small variation on a famous person’s formulaic success, inevitably ruining it, and then sit back telling themselves that the thousand views they just got on YouTube is bringing them one step closer to making it.

Out of every million or so imitators, one will come up with a variation on an existing celebrity cult which actually works, spawning his or her own empire of superficial importance. Tragically, this is the only way to become a celebrity. No matter how sublimely the essence of the cult leader celebrity is captured, it is immediately stifling and self-defeating to be pigeonholed by millions of zombie fans who never want anything but more of the same sterilized pink slime hamburger french fry Coca Cola happy meals. This is the trap of leadership. Do not ever fall in this trap.

The Anti-Leader

        Having built the base of their empire on pure and unadulterated blandness, leaders will quickly be ignored and even discarded should they attempt to exercise anything resembling free will. Clearly, becoming another stupid imitator-turned-celebrity is no way to save the world.

        After years of failure, accidental success, isolation, and insanity I have become shadow history’s most powerful Anti-Leader. The ancient tools of the Anti-Leader trade, when applied to the Internet, are more profoundly influential than ever before. This is not a path to glory, and I certainly don’t recommend these tactics to anyone who values sanity. DO NOT attempt to imitate what I am about to describe. Most attempts will fail, and practice by the inexperienced may have grave and unpredictable effects for personal health as well as world history. I know this is called the Anti-Leader’s Handbook, and that’s what it is, but out of a ten thousand who might try these methods, one might partially succeed while the rest have their lives completely and utterly ruined forever. Readers who continue on past this point have an astronomically high chance of becoming raving paranoiacs imprisoned in a pointless cult of their own creation.

        Still think this is an elaborate joke? So do I, but this Anti-Leader thing couldn’t be more real. In the past year I have been quoted heavily by the the world’s top news sources many millions of times. At least that much is true! Only a very small group of people know a very small proportion of the influence I exert from the shadows, and almost none of them understand the purpose. It does sound outlandish, as if I were telling a lie just to feel important, but it’s actually completely true. As an Anti-Leader I am not even capable of feeling important.

The Anti-Agenda

        The most common question posed to an Anti-Leader is “What is your agenda?” This is just an echo of silly cultist mentality and could easily be reworded, “To what cult do you belong?” Of course, an Anti-Leader has no agenda and aims to be a member of no cult. Because that’s technically impossible, the best solution is to rapidly switch between different cults and adopt whatever agenda can be best exploited in the particular moment.
        This is known as the Anti-Agenda. By choosing whatever agenda best suits the moment, an Anti-Leader intuitively finds his or her way through the ever-shifting Cult Plane by working through the cracks and valleys rather than wasting energy defending one little corner from the inevitability of the Great Oak Tree of Perfect Contradiction. There is no point in trying to explain this to cultists as they only see the Anti-Agenda as insanity or pandering. This may not be too far from the mark, but at least the Anti-Agenda is a totally sensible madness.

        Aggressively pursuing the Anti-Agenda is possible only once an Anti-Leader accepts the partial validity of all cults. Rise above the narrative, and accept the intransigence of the universe for what it is. There are no good guys and no bad guys. There is no struggle. There is no evil and there is no control. There is only the Anti-Agenda, and “following” it is no holy war but rather a subtle dance along the intricate and ever-shifting Cult Plane.

The Cult Plane

        The Cult Plane is the best possible depiction of Truth yet conceived of by man. All the narratives in the Great Collective are assembled into a three dimensional terrain map broken up by a fractal network of uncountable fissures. These recesses represent that which no narrative can explain and stem from the same ever-growing and infinitely branching crack, which is known as the Great Oak Tree of Anti-Knowledge and Perfect Contradiction. As the very contour of what cannot be known, the infinite branches of the Oak inevitably stymie cultists who think there is wisdom in seeking Truth. A glimpse of the Oak is forever beyond those who search between the branches and thus distance themselves from Anti-Knowledge by wrapping themselves in endlessly more elaborate narratives.

Events rip holes and tear at the Cult Plane, leaving conchoidal valleys and uncrossable mountain ranges. The Cult Plane’s ever-shifting plate tectonics are driven by the Great Oak as it grows and forces narrative divergence. An Anti-Leader often visits the very edge of the Cult Plane, as a geologist might visit the edge of the Grand Canyon. From such a location, the layering of opposing narratives is plainly visible. For cultists, these edges are a horror.

        Narrative forms the substance of the Cult Plane, constantly sedimenting and shifting away from the Great Oak. Near the Oak, narratives are fresh and flimsy, but further away entire mountain ranges of holy books, sermons, and conspiracy theories glom on to one another. Cultists have a habit of planting themselves upon a single point of the Cult Plane and sitting there for all eternity, perhaps confusing this Narrative Provincialism with a solid foundation in reason. Anti-Leaders, on the other hand, travel the cult plane extensively, absorbing all the local flavors without too much prejudice. The scenery may not be pretty for an Anti-Leader, but he or she will always find some hairline cracks and pick at them until the mighty branches of the Oak chase cultists to new narrative heights.

                Some Anti-Leaders still believe that one day the Great Oak may possibly be completely defined and every last branch catalogued. At that point, knowledge will have crystallized out of Anti-Knowledge and the Cult Plane will become a static and perfect model for eternal harmony. Other Anti-Leaders insist that there is an infinite amount of Anti-Knowledge and that new branches of the Oak will never stop growing. Both sides have agreed that these two fundamentally opposing narratives form the trunk of the Great Unknowable Oak and must paradoxically both be false.


        Most people don’t need to be brainwashed, as their minds are in a permanent default state of blank technoboredom. The great bulk of the Internet passively receives cues from whatever cultist feeds appeal the most. As Anti-Leader and shadow cult master, I must admit that most of the really hard work is already done by the celebrities and politicians I’ve been trashing. The only work left is spreading cleverly disguised jokes.

        While Anonymous may be full of righteous indignation and outrage at the way of the world, the Anonymous cult members mollify their own anger through bizarre rituals like DDoS and doxing. They are able to hijack or generate news stories to gain more attention and grow the size of their cult a bit, but other than that, they usually exert very little influence. Like any other cult, Anonymous is chained down by its own insatiable hunger for that vanilla flavored Guy Fawkes brand revolution.

        In my early attempts to influence Anonymous, I utilized a crude but effective Anti-Leader tool called PseudoCritique. PseudoCritique draws cult members in and traps them like flypaper. Making a few statements which appear wildly uninformed and ignorant of dogma forces cult members into a defensive scramble to protect their belief structure. The secret to this method is to bury a piece of really good advice cleverly disguised as a part of the seemingly incoherent ramblings. The cultists’ unconscious minds will absorb the useful info during their blind fit of conscious anger, and then a few days later they’ll come up with the idea all on their own. People really enjoy the feeling of coming up with original ideas rather than having them force fed by leaders.

        In a blog post titled “Why Anonymous is Completely Irrelevant,” which was my first really successful piece of PseudoCritique, I made a few absurd statements about how the biggest Anonymous hack to date was totally unimportant. The cult’s outrage drove them to my blog in the tens of thousands, and as they raged, I laughed. In this highly emotional state, Anons were exposed to a hardly noticeable passage stating that Anonymous isn’t the same as a real life protest movement.

Since then, Anonymous has spawned the Occupy movement in an attempt to legitimize their constant cyberattacks. I’m not taking credit for the entire Occupy Wall Street movement, although it may have never happened without this particular piece of PseudoCritique. Operation Empire State Rebellion, the group within Anonymous responsible for planning Occupy, sought my leadership from the very beginning. Of course I was not interested in such a superficial, simulated position of celebrity.

I surreptitiously planted Occupy into their minds (what a mistake) and it was time to move on to bigger and better things. Creating the Occupy cult will probably plague my conscience for the rest of my life, but hopefully It will stand as a stark warning for those who might wish to become an Anti-Leader. Misuse of even the crudest Anti-Leadership methods can have terrible and long lasting effects that are nothing like what was originally intended.

Why Anonymous is Completely Irrelevant

[February 15, 2011] -

Anonymous refuses all definitions, yet a close look at their actions is all one needs to understand what they are all about. Anonymous is not a group of socially minded and technologically savvy internet users that want to change the world for the better. They are not a group at all. Instead, they are a loose federation of loud mouths and hackers who mostly want to make a buck or achieve the goal of inflating their selfish pride-albeit anonymously. In the most sophisticated achievement to date, Anonymous has managed to cripple and embarrass HBGary, a security firm that insulted Anons everywhere by infiltrating their IRC channel and figuring out the handles of those responsible for deployment of the LOIC. Not only is this attack childish, spiteful, and pointless, but it shows that Anonymous is most willing to use their potential for positive change instead for self-aggrandizing and meaningless pursuits.

As Iran continues to injure and kill protesters as in 2009, Anonymous continues to take down symbolic political targets on the web with their weakest tool, LOIC. The power of a symbol is in the attention it receives from the media and Anonymous has only been truly successful in these kind of attacks on Visa and Mastercard. It is hard to grasp and explain the Anonymous mindset because there are very few things that “Anons” have in common. Firstly, they are all internet users. Secondly, “Anons” choose to remain anonymous, but only in principle. The truth is that “Anons” assume the security of anonymity whether or not it truly applies.

I feel it is a wholly weak and pitiful trait of humankind that we must hide our identities to speak our mind or to take action. I believe anonymous is comprised of weaklings who take action in fear and would not do so if they did not believe they could get away with it anonymously. You are not brothers to protesters in the streets, you are cowards who sit behind computer screens and put your greatest efforts towards selfish pride instead of greater good. Hacktivist is too good of a term for Anons. That implies an ultimate purpose where there is obviously none.

Of all the facets of Anonymous, AnonNews is the most despicable. I’d challenge them to release their financial records but that’s not even necessary. Using PayPal, hated enemy of free speech, the owner takes donations and PayPal gets their dirty little share. Not only that, but they’ve gotten some cash from Military Recruiters. Yet no one seems to care about what amounts to blatant financial exploitation of the Anonymous phenomenon.

Anons are weak and pitiful for not holding AnonNews to account.

Anons are weak and pitiful for attacking HBGary when they could make a change that matters.

Anons are weak and pitiful for remaining anonymous.

Cult of the Inane

“Be careful with that apple core, the seeds are full of cyanide.” ~ The hidden voice of Sweater Vests, impelling you to purchase only processed food.

“It’s a little known fact that white lighters are always present when cops bust stoners. Ditch the white lighter, man, and it’s safe to smoke weed anywhere. Wipe that spit off the bowl with your t-shirt, or you’ll give me a damn disease. Ugh, I dropped the fucking beer on the ground, better tap the cap a few times so it won’t explode.”  ~ Local stoner Reek on proper substance abuse rituals.

        The cabal that forces these inane little superstitions on the masses probably meets in a very nondescript public place like McDonald’s, dressed all in sweater vests. They develop weird little infectious ticks, a surprisingly powerful form of mind control which is incredibly hard to detect. By exploiting moments of slight discomfort, the sweater-wearing maniacs have pushed their agenda forward one bizarre ritual at a time, ultimately forming a Cult of the Totally Inane. Every day, the Sweater Vest Cabal works on some clever new trick for control, just to rob cultists of their free will.

        While it’s quite mysterious what the Sweater Vest agenda actually is, it’s obviously nothing anyone wants. Some have suggested they’re out to drive up gas prices or sell products on television, but I personally believe it’s far more diabolical. The practices may seem like a collection of harmless and unconnected superstitions, but the insistence with which cultists cling to them indicates the malicious nature of the Vests hiding in the shadows.

        And no, this cult isn’t about avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk. Avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk is fun. It fulfills the same need for control that the Sweater Vest Cabal takes advantage of and undermines the source of their power. Consciously engaging in as many compulsive superstitious behaviors as possible, for fun, is actually the only way to resist the vast power of the Sweater Vests.

By spreading these strange and quirky little superstitions, the Sweaters exercise supreme and absolute control over the everyday life of millions without even revealing themselves. Buried in these seemingly pointless behaviors are little seeds of suggestion which eventually blossom into complete belief structures. It doesn’t happen to all the cultists, but it’s pretty easy to spot someone who is under the power of the Sweaters. The surest sign is a total aversion to bad smells and the excessive overuse of various perfumes to mask pretty much every odor the cult member comes across in daily life. The most devoted followers are known as Reeks because everywhere they go a cloud of noxious cover scent follows. Likewise, their false sense of security floats over their head and infects everyone around them. Avoiding Reeks is advisable, but nearly impossible. However, throwing some salt around after they leave is a good way to protect against the cloud of stinking, contagious superstition left in their wake.

        The Sweater Vest Cabal is so dangerous, in part, because they work a lot like Anti-Leaders. Like true Anti-Leaders, the Sweaters silently feed the public subtle hints disguised as valuable information. What makes them different is that they do this to help propagate their Cult of Totally Inane Superstition, rather than to tear down the cults of others. The Sweaters have possibly been at work for just as long as the Anti-Leaders, and a lot can be learned from their success. They are masters of subtle manipulation and should be a subject of intense study for any dedicated Anti-Leader. Make friends with a really contagious Reek (they’re not hard to find) and study the handiwork of the Sweaters up close. Just remember that being so close to a Reek is highly dangerous, and no amount of silly protective ceremonies will ever make it truly safe.



There may be no method of mind control more powerful than CultSpeak, which is just a bunch of made up words impregnated with a cult leader’s desired connotation. It may seem like cute jargon, meant to liven up a comedy routine, and this is why it is so dangerous. Rush Limbaugh has his “dittohead” listeners, who are too smart to be cowed by the “state-run media,” or fall prey to the “feminazi” agenda. Anonymous has the “Anonfamily,” and they typically stick a clever little “fag” suffix on anything they don’t like. Such transparent and silly CultSpeak is actually one of the most powerful methods of control because it seems so harmless and fun.

CultSpeak is the easiest way to identify cultists, and any good Anti-Leader should be fluent in as many of these sub-languages as possible, fully understanding the nuance and connotation intended. However, like the study of Reeks, it can be unsafe and highly threatening to the Anti-Leader who does not take proper precautions.

There is absolutely no way for existing CultSpeak to be repurposed to serve an Anti-Leader. Don’t even think of it, no matter how clever it might seem! Those who oppose the cult may get a few yuks, but this ultimately just helps propagate the deeply buried and extremely malicious hidden meanings. The only time it is appropriate to use CultSpeak is in conversation with a known cultist as a part of regular Anti-Leader studies.

With years of practice, an Anti-Leader can become so fluent in these languages that he or she will know exactly when and how to coin a new term which completely undermines everything the cult has worked towards. This is why it is important to know every little crevice of Cultspeak, the framework behind it, and just what kind of fun the cultists want to get out of repeating the jargon. With a single word, the entire cult becomes the AntiLeader’s for one glorious moment, usurped from the grasp of even the most influential leaders. Sadly, this kind of tactic only achieves the most fleeting and momentary control, so it is best utilized just as an important event begins to unfold.

Westboro Baptist Church

[February 27, 2011]

Westboro Baptist is a cult run by Fred Phelps that uses strategies similar to trolling so that it can sustain itself. They go to soldiers’ funerals and call everyone there a bunch of fag lovers. When the fists fly, they profit. Anonymous posted a press release promising DDoS attacks on the activists at Westboro Baptist shortly after my influence had risen. Westboro Baptist responded by posting their own press release on AnonNews. It said quite simply, “bring it on.”

I went on the warpath. These were my lulz, not Fred Phelps’.  I was in charge here, not some shitty church. I began to meddle with these children’s minds. I dropped my pseudonym. I was Anonymous, hyperconsciousness in the flesh. I spread rumors that Westboro Baptist Church had posted the threat themselves. I began to call anyone who disagreed a WBCfag and accused them of infiltrating Anonymous. Within a few hours, multiple press releases reflected this twisted version of reality and reinforced the point of view that had descended from my hegemony. All attacks were called off, and I celebrated my victory over Fred Phelps and Anonymous with a 40 oz. for me and all my friends.

Even then, I had continued to accept the idea that there were no leaders. Yet as someone who had found the method to exercise control over Anonymous, I began to see evidence of an invisible hand.

Despite the lack of support, Anonymous was insistent on attacking Westboro Baptist. A DDoS attack was impossible because I had scuttled the mass interest. Instead, a small group or individual gained root access to Westboro Baptist’s web servers and defaced them. All the power I had gained was gone as easily as it had come. Someone was surely pulling some strings from behind the scenes, employing a kind of virtual secret police to get the job done.

The Single Serving Cult

        Anti-Leaders will do everything in their power to control and disarm cults without creating a cult of their own. The problem with starting a cult isn’t really some kind of high minded moral objection to cult leadership, but rather one of logistics. In fact, there are plenty of admirable anti-cult-cults out there to join so there’s really no need to create more. It is simply too much work to maintain and there’s not the same kind of profit in it as there was a few decades ago. Anti-Leaders generally prefer to launch an endless string of Single Serving Cults, steering people away from established cult dogma and hiding little jokes because it’s just a lot less work.

        Conspiracy mongering is only half of building the Single Serving Cult, but it is a skill that must be developed first through trial and error. Whenever an important event happens, there is a mad scramble to determine the meaning behind it and the forces at play. Conspiracy mongering has to be done at the height of the confused frenzy, which is immediately after shit goes down and before all the cults explain everything away with CultSpeak. Timing is important, but even more important is the story itself. I may have called it a ‘conspiracy theory,’ but that doesn’t mean it’s got to always suggest some kind of a conspiracy. Any fanciful story will do. The real trick is that it has to explain away some new insecurity facing Reeks and somehow assuage the overwhelming sense of confusion and insecurity about what has just happened.

        Anyone can spread conspiracy theories with a little practice, and plenty of people do. However, simply spreading theories doesn’t make one an Anti-Leader. It takes a very special set of skills to really create an effective Single Serving Cult. Practicing first with PseudoCritique and CultSpeak manipulation is recommended for the green Anti-Leader, as those are simpler but similar tactics. The difference between a conspiracy theory and a Single Serving Cult is subtle but profound: A simple conspiracy may suggest alien influence in the White House, but a Single Serving Cult is an alien influence in the White House.

        The Single Serving Cult is created with a subtly hidden message disguised as a conspiracy theory. While 9/11 false flag theorists long ago passed beyond the realm of a Single Serving Cult, the basic principle is the same. The hidden message behind the Truther conspiracy, once seen, shows that the movement itself is obviously a false flag. Agents from the government disguise themselves as 9/11 cultists to spread the idea that America killed Americans, preying on anti-government Reeks. These would-be dissidents don’t even know that they have actually been cowed into valuing America more than ever. The 9/11 cultist quietly implies that killing a few thousand Americans is much more outrageous and terrible than the hundreds of thousands killed in the Middle East. Members of the Truther cult poison everything they touch and are the reason the anti-war movement isn’t going anywhere any time soon.

        The Anti-Leader doesn’t need his or her cult to last like other cults. It’s called a Single Serving Cult because all the work is done with one well-aimed strike. It’s a complete waste of effort to keep on pushing the same stupid conspiracy over and over, especially as that eventually contradicts the Anti-Agenda. What’s even worse is if the Anti-Leader starts to actually believe his or her own conspiracy theories. THIS WAY LIES MADNESS!

        The following Single Serving Cult solidified my position as a representative for Anonymous. The news media portrayed me as such, so I wore a dress tie and told all sorts of people about Anonymous for almost a whole week as the insanity passed through my system. An Anti-Leader grows familiar with the natural pleasure inherent in abandoning the very cult he or she recently created.

Sony shuts down PSN, saves billions and blames Anonymous

[April 22, 2011] - Chronicle.SU

Yesterday, Sony purposefully shut down its own Playstation Network servers to save itself billions in operating costs. This move was shrouded with rumors that Anonymous has yet again resorted to the unpopular DDoS attacks that led to the failed “boycott” of Sony products on April 16th. Sony, as always, has made a meaningless and vague statement about their network status in an attempt to counter any blame.

Despite their own miserable failure with Sony, Anonymous has not even had time to come up with a new strategy. In fact, Anonymous has entirely lost interest in wasting their time on Sony. Playstation 3 owners have reactivated their violent urges which are at a steady boiling point without Call of Duty: Black Ops. The last bastion of truly free press,, has been under sporadic DDoS attacks that may have originated from “Sonyfags” or the Playstation Network itself.

Now with a scapegoat for all future network outages, Sony is free to mistreat their own user base without discretion. Sony currently has a plan in the works to create paid Playstation “Gold” accounts that will not suffer from network outages which disable completely unrelated services such as Netflix and Skype. This strategy is consistent with Reddit’s current “downtime” that allows only paid Reddit “Gold” accounts the ability to log in.

Free information and net neutrality is dying at the altar of Anonymous, as I have predicted. Public opinion is being manipulated by the global oligarchs who control multi-national corporations like Sony. The people are being whipped into a hate-storm that can only end with mass vannings of the Anonymous collective.

The Workplace Cult

The boss hangs around all day, supervising others but actually doing nothing. Employees believe their job is really important, even though they are paid minimum wage. Those who ask off of work for any reason will find their hours maliciously docked when they return. Repetitive and insane cleaning behaviors are constantly performed out of pure fear. Strong workplace cults should be easily identifiable to trained Anti-Leaders.

        Workplaces like these are often an unavoidable necessity for even the most experienced of Anti-Leaders. In fact, most workplaces are actually cults. A cult is definitely a miserable place for any Anti-Leader, but once understood and accepted, success in this environment is actually very easy.

        There is no shame in accepting the programming handed down from on high, just to get along. It’s simply a matter of taking the path of least resistance. Wear that demeaning uniform with pride and ritualistically vacuum that perfectly clean carpet. Vacuum every single inch! The more literal the interpretation of workplace dogma, the better an employee will be treated. In the mind of the boss, if everyone acted like robots everything would be perfect. Robots never shut down, they just go into automatic cleaning cycles. Learn to enjoy the workplace cult by pretending to be robot.

        Generally, pure conformity is not enough to satisfy the whimsy for power that motivates cult bosses. They will come up with some kind of token privilege, such as music, to give and take at their own discretion. While this is just used to constantly remind employees who is in charge, it is also a weak point in the scheme of control. Take a hard line against all token privileges, and never indulge in them. Bosses will admire it even though it undermines their power. This is one of the few areas where Anti-Leadership can be practiced in the workplace. Revel in the power each time the boss yanks that token privilege away from other underlings.

It is not advisable to enter a workplace cult when there is any alternative, as playacting as a cult member becomes dangerous over time. It is certainly the best way to cope with the crushing demands of the environment, but soon it might start to seem right. An Anti-Leader should immediately quit any workplace cult as soon as it starts to feel fulfilling. This is only the first sign of the cult’s influence breaking through that sardonic pretend robot barrier. If quitting isn’t an option, just forget about the robots and pretend to be something fresh. Pretend to be anything, as long as it isn’t a pivotal member of the minimum wage dream team!


        Through practice in the workplace, the ability to pose as a cultist while remaining totally safe from its ever-grasping tentacles can be fairly well-honed. This is known as InFiltration, which is actually quite removed from what agents provocateur do. An Anti-Leader is also an outsider influencing a cult, but that is where any similarity to basic infiltration strategy ends.

        Usually an agent provocateur is working for a rival cult, attempting to somehow incite a negative conflict. Typically, this is some kind of government agent showing up at a protest and saying outrageous things or attacking a police officer. A true InFiltrator, however, works to disrupt the very foundations of the cult mentality, even amongst the leaders. A good InFiltrator may steer the cult’s discourse wildly by uttering a single idea. The end result should be an internal conflict  which ultimately erodes the foundations of cult ideology and causes mass reassessment of underlying belief structures.

        True InFiltration is the ultimate achievement for an ambitious Anti-Leader. In essence, it aims to set off a chain reaction between the hardened cultists who further radicalize their beliefs and those who follow the Anti-Leader’s subversion. Putting forward a cleverly disguised narrative loaded with cult dogma is easy. It’s basically the same as creating a Single Serving cult, but it must be designed and built using all the tools and methods of the target cult. Consider InFiltration as a very well camouflaged Single Serving Cult, ideally indistinguishable from pre-existing cult propaganda and readily synthesized by adherents.

Emergency Christmas Press Release: Stratfor Hack not Anonymous!

[December 25, 2011] -


Stratfor is an open source intelligence agency, publishing daily reports on data collected from the open internet. Hackers claiming to be Anonymous have distorted this truth in order to further their hidden agenda, and some Anons have taken the bait.

The leaked client list represents subscribers to a daily publication which is the primary service of Stratfor. Stratfor analysts are widely considered to be extremely unbiased. Anonymous does not attack media sources. In this excerpt from Time, there is a brief description of how Stratfor analysts uncovered a possible US backed coup in Iraq preceding the US invasion.

"In the past month Stratfor has drawn attention to a carefully assembled open-source report that asserted that last month's attack on Iraq wasn't intended just to punish Saddam Hussein for blowing off U.N. weapons inspectors. By sorting through thousands of pieces of publicly available data--from Middle East newspapers to Iraqi-dissident news--Stratfor analysts developed a theory that the attacks were actually designed to mask a failed U.S.-backed coup. In two striking, contrarian intelligence briefs released on the Internet on Jan. 5 and Jan. 6, Stratfor argued that Saddam's lightning restructuring of the Iraqi military, followed by executions of the army's Third Corps commanders, was evidence that the coup had been suppressed. Predictably, U.S. officials said the report was wrong."

Stratfor has been purposefully misrepresented by these so-called Anons and portrayed in false light as a company which engages in activity similar to HBGary. Sabu and his crew are nothing more than opportunistic attention whores who are possibly agent provocateurs. As a media source, Stratfor's work is protected by the freedom of press, a principle which Anonymous values greatly.

This hack is most definitely not the work of Anonymous.

We are Anonymous

We do not forgive

We do not forget

Expect us

Unintended Repercussions

While I’d like to say that I actually knew Sabu was working with the government, this would be completely untrue. There was evidence out there, but absolutely no way to be sure about it. However, bizarre statements he made ran contradictory to widely agreed upon Anonymous dogma, and as an Anti-Leader that was what I instinctively attacked.

Millions of people across the world speculated about the supposed internal conflict within Anonymous after this “emergency” press release first went viral and was then legitimized by every major news outlet. An Anti-Leader flutters his or her fingers, and cults go into a state of civil war. Within Anonymous, however, there was actually very little debate. The belief that anyone can be Anonymous trumped the belief in freedom of speech. Rather than face the horror of such a fundamental breakdown, Anonymous submitted to its leadership and dug themselves even further into the pit of endless contradiction. Although Anonymous dogma clearly states there are no leaders, Sabu and other respected Anons said the press release was bullshit and therefore it was.

        With so many contradicting beliefs laid bare by this phony press release, the vicious cycle of increasingly insane and paradoxical dogma nearly shattered the cult plane. Outsiders and insiders alike were perplexed about what it meant to be Anonymous, as the idea had reached a new level of confusion. Eventually this was mostly forgotten. That is, until the FBI admitted Sabu had actually been working for them since July 7th of 2011. With that news, the cult plane gave way and fractured. Anonymous quickly distanced itself from the Great Oak by throwing Sabu down the memory hole. An entirely new Single Serving cult was born out of the tempest.

The idea that Sabu was actually directed by the FBI to take down Stratfor or instigate this hack is now much more common than other more sane points of view. That is to say, partially because of this press release, most people now believe in a bullshit theory where the FBI is the bad guy. This, of course, is one of those magical happy accidents “Bob” Ross always talks about. The FBI is usually pretty good at locking up dangerous criminals, and I don’t hate them for that, but undermining any of their potentially deceptive practices as an accidental by-product of undermining Anonymous is an irony too good for words. Of course, I would never do such a thing on purpose.

Hillary Clinton Leaked Diplomatic Cables Regarding LulzSec

[July 20th, 2011] -

S E C R E T STATE 047326


E.O. 12958: DECL: 05/08/2034









Project Persona Management

        If we assume there are aliens out there who can travel to visit us, we must make a chain of increasingly wild assumptions. They most likely have been here at some point, and considering the massive energy expense of interstellar travel they would probably want to stay. However, there is no hard evidence of Aliens. Still, there are several explanations for the astounding lack of evidence. Either we are the aliens, aliens are amongst us, aliens are watching us, or there really is evidence and we just don’t understand it at all. There’s no way out of the chain of assumption at this point. The aliens are everywhere. The aliens are everybody.

Unlike Aliens, there is real evidence for Persona Management. There are plenty of companies everyone already knows about faking online product reviews praising themselves and slandering their competitors. Persona Management can give a business already engaging in this type of behavior yet more strategic advantage by giving the illusion of consensus by controlling thousands of fake Social Media accounts.

The Pentagon loves strategic advantages like Persona Management. It’s a superweapon capable of completely destabilizing social order. The empire must grow or wither, and to grow there must always be new vassal nations. Manifest Destiny! They aim this superweapon on lucrative fields of oil, let the governments reset themselves, and then assert power. It might be necessary to give the rebels a little push with some “humanitarian” cruise missiles, but use of the Persona Management superweapon is still much cheaper than traditional war.

The Arab Spring was an engineered event according to most hardline Muslim and Anonymous Extremists. Now that Persona Management exists, the most likely explanation for a revolution is going to always be Persona Management. The most likely explanation for any popular trend is going to always be Persona Management. All the hateful comments I get from Anonymous are Persona Management. But like the Aliens, it’s a string of total bullshit assumptions that never end until they’re a monolithic narrative explaining every single event in history

Pedantic Pre-Collapse Jargon Overload

        The farther a narrative falls from a cultist’s home on the Cult Plane, the less he or she is going to like it. Waltzing around on different territory, even just for a laugh, is disastrous for any normal leader because it wrecks the Illusion of Consistency. Ideally, a leader stakes a flag on a point in the cult plane, cleverly picking a spot that is very densely populated. In reality, this is not what happens. Pandering to groups with opposing interests by dancing back and forth is the real game of democratic politics. Not wanting the cultists to become aware of this, a leader projects an Illusion of Consistency with vague and repetitive narratives purposefully designed for broad interpretation.

        Anti-Leaders, however, plant flags in empty territory and move on. These flags aren’t the bafflingly vague propaganda of leaders, but rather highly specific narratives purposefully designed to lure cultists to the edges of the Cult Plane. The aim in this strategy, the Single Serving Cult, is Cult Plane Resettlement, which ideally smears cultist belief all over the place. When there are more narratives floating around out there, the meaning of each becomes diminished. This, of course, is merely another formulation of the Anti-Agenda, something which must be hidden from the cultists.

The Illusion of Inconsistency is almost not worth mentioning as it is incredibly easy to maintain. However, an Anti-Leader may feel inclined to spell out the Anti-Agenda while serving up the cult du jour, but this is simply falling into the trap of leadership by exposing the underlying consistency behind such narratives. Anti-Leaders maintain the Illusion of Inconsistency and thereby protect the Anti-Agenda by playing up wild theories about their own purpose.

But this is contradiction! Right now I am exposing the purpose of Anti-Leadership and falling into the terrible death trap of leadership. Reductio ad absurdum! The Anti-Leader’s sole purpose is nothing more than giving cultists increasingly more erotic imagery and laughing at them for humping such bizarre joke ideas. There’s no saving the world here! The Anti-Agenda is bullshit! All language is CultSpeak, and all symbols are so overloaded with meaning that to even utter a single word is to become a devout cultist, at least as defined by this awful tract. Seriously, why even keep reading this?


        The layers of Self-Deception are infinitely deep. There is no escape. Is an Anti-Leader just a leader in denial? Is the Anti-Agenda just a pathetic attempt to justify anything? Is this another sad archetypal Anti-Hero narrative about a charming rogue who does all the bad things for the right reasons? Haven’t you seen variations of this movie at least fifty times before? Do you still have a hard on for saving the world by being a bad boy or girl?

        Yes, absolutely! This was just another lame story and another “Single Serving Cult” that has been told a million times. It’s a bold mixture of fact and fiction that’s totally contrived and absolutely banal. What meaningless bullshit! What cliched TRIPE! There’s nothing of real importance or novelty in this entire handbook. Forget about it and move on. If you had any sense you would have stopped reading this when I warned you! YOU DIDN’T READ ANYTHING. Anti-Leaders aren’t going to save the world from cultists because Anti-Leaders ARE the WORST cultists!

Fire! Fire in the theater! Get the fuck out or you’re going to die!