SAN FRANCISCO–After recent rumors of a long-term homosexual relationship were spread by rabid fans of Danielle Colby Cushman, American Pickers stars Frank Fritz and Mike Wolfe held a press conference to publicly renounce homosexuality, denying they ever banged more than once.
“They just did it for the attention,” said Danielle, “But they really are gay. Gay, gay, gay.”
“That nonsense about my family and the oil can thing, it really hurt me,” said Fritz at the press conference. “We’re suing those bastards.”
Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, general physician, said “Oh, yeah, those guys came in the other day with rectums full of antiques. The anti-homosexual press conference was a sham to buzz up a drum.”