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Fashion Society

New guy shows up, already has a catch phrase

NEW YORK—A Brooklyn man who showed up to a party as someone’s +1 arrived complete with a schtick, attitude, comically trucker shaped hat, and even his own catchphrase.

Andrew Aurenheimer, a relatively unknown but nevertheless charming young man, was invited along with his NYU classmate Therasa Baker to a gathering of friends in the publishing business. As the host opened the door, they were greeted with a staggering display of charisma, intelligence, luck, and perception stats.

“What’s good, bossman,” Andrew said, thumbs tucked into his denim jean pockets. “Thanks for having me. You must really trust Therasa.”

Instinctively, the host – named after a Revolutionary War hero – reached out to shake Andrew’s hand, whose handshake was firm and stout, its own array of muscle toned through years of firm, handshaking respect.

“DeLafayette Bournier, pleased to make your acquaintance.”

The host closed the door behind them, immediately followed by Andrew doing finger guns at the general crowd of about 40 partygoers, asking everybody was good bossman.

“Was good, bossman, he just kept saying it,” recalls attendee Angie Lloyd Weber, 34. “Ay yo bossman, let me get a hit of—what is that?”

Over the course of the night however, as Andrew continued repeating it, “bossman” started growing on people.

“I thought it was so cringe and stupid,” Jeff Namer later posted on Threads, the site formerly known as Twitter. “Do you work in an office in the 1920s? Nobody says bossman like that anymore.”

Others agreed. Still, something about bossman was just silly enough, and just catchy enough, to become the next big thing.

“Before long, we’re all saying it,” Angie said. “I’s calling him bossman, he’s calling me it. Somebody called the dog bossman, everybody laughed, and it was over.”

This is the story of how Bossman, once uttered through the static noise of irony, transformed to become the ultimate sign of respect at the highest echelons of all culture.

Bossman has spread so quickly in its ubiquity that it has even moved to replace “sir,” or “madam” in society’s most formal of settings. It is for this reason that it became news today, bossman.

Catch you on the flip, Chimmo.

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Editorial Obituaries Special Interest

Julian Assange attacks deceased digital humanities author David Golumbia

INTERNET–For some reason, suddenly, David Golumbia is attacked after more than a year of being dead.

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange went in on the late doctor during a twitter tirade on main.

Cyberlibertarianism: The Right-Wing Politics of Digital Technology

Dr. David Golumbia (posthumous release)

Suddenly, Julian Assange has attacked a dead guy. In Julian’s post on X, The Everything App, he said a bunch of shit. Read it below. Sources close to known individuals in contact with people working near the publisher of leaked governments say: Assange used X because it “felt right.”

David Golumbia lived his life making himself a threat to power.

FILE PHOTO: Assange received news of his failure in the Australian election and called on Anonymous to destroy his enemies.

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Categories
News

Elon Musk salutes 4chan

INTERNET — Elon Musk slapped himself on the chest and firmly raised a palm-down salute in honor of 4chan, all while scowling with serious intent. This “4chan salute” was first seen in the feature-length Netflix documentary film, The Antisocial Network.

Musk’s nod to trolling culture has been interpreted in many statistically unlikely ways, with some historic interpretations falling well outside the realm of public knowledge and media depictions. Other exotic narratives predominate the interpretation, bringing to mind flat-earth rhetoric. In the midst of it all, a distribution curve depicting statistical manipulation of the discussion has gone viral, hinting that the oligarchs feel they have gained full control over media narratives.

When used more typically in America, Musk’s gesture is called a “sieg heil,” an obscene way to express disrespect to authoritarian figures. If someone were quitting their job, they might raise a sieg heil to their former boss, but only in the more extreme and abusive circumstances.

Nobody has suggested that Musk might have been “sieg heiling” the American people and their democracy in this fashion, among the many other signs of oligarch power conspicuously displayed at the proceedings. While this is unlikely and at odds with Musk’s words, such an idea is far more likely than talk of ancient Roman, the French Revolution, and so on, topics that are predominating the discussion in defiance of all common sense.

Musk’s family ties to fascist Germany have many commenters believing that Musk is a practicing Nazi. While the fascist salute is indeed the 4chan salute’s lineage, it has been further manipulated in a way that is important to understand. Unlike a Fascist salute directed at a dictator, perhaps Trump, the 4chan salute is done towards nothing and nobody, except for the effect that it has in offending others. It’s trolling.

Beyond convenient historic manipulations, we enter a flattening earth where the gesture itself is hyper analyzed. Firstly, there is the belief in an intentional gesture which was not meant to be obscene. While these more charitable interpretations were shared even by the Anti Defamation League, Musk indeed said “My heart goes out to you.” These words are believed to make it into a non-obscene gesture other than a sieg heil, one which has never existed before now. Those who can suspend their disbelief and go along may be seen throwing sieg heils in public in the coming years, only intending to send their hearts out.

Another strain of denial sees the gesture as unintentional or somehow botched, a “slip-up.” Maybe Musk’s true thoughts were coming out in a moment of emotional overload, like a teenage gamer using racial slurs. Perhaps it was all a product of Musk’s physical awkwardness due to neurodivergence, the two crisp and easily identified sieg heils being, in actuality, the random jerky spasms of a disabled man. The “slip-up” theory is among the more plausible ideas, but one that is pretty much limited to gaming demographics, while the preposterous idea about the two sieg heils being one neurodivergent spasm is given more visibility on X than even the shocking historic examples which the 4chan salute is meant to evoke.

And finally, there are those who admit the gesture was obscene, but that the obscenity is valid. Mostly, this comes in the form of still images of Democrat politicians holding out their arms, manufacturing a similar salute, equivocation making such a gesture normal. Multiplying the obscenity with doctored or cherrypicked photos shows a deeper understanding of the 4chan salute, it is meant to upset Democrats. The Tate brother influencers took this attitude one step beyond a tit-for-tat political game and imbued the gesture with a macho virtue, telling their teenage followers to sieg heil more than ever as a means to increase their personal power. These more authentic messages, falling closest to the truth of the gesture, have found purchase among 4channers everywhere who echo Musk’s threat: “We mean business.”