Law Uncontrollable Patriotism

New law would allow Tennessee educators to carry secondary weapon, ballistic shields, and custom loadouts with perks and bonuses

NASHVILLE, Tenn.—Lawmakers have heard the concerns of Tennessee educators after a law was passed earlier in the month that would let teachers bring more guns into classrooms. They answered with a new law passed by congress this week, that  will allow public school teachers carry ballistic shields, a secondary sidearm, and custom ranked loadouts for keeping up with an ever-changing battlefield.

Many teachers, whose personal budgets are already strapped by low pay, face a decades-old complex of having to spend their own money on desperately needed school supplies. Now, that little bit of money once intended for glue sticks, crayons, and construction paper are being repurposed for lead slinging weapons of iron and wood, making Tennessee schools a place for high powered learning.

Thanks to a partnership with Rural Home Furnishings, Tennessee’s “Top Fraggers,” or highest-ranking educators in participating schools, can look forward to high quality pine wood gun-racks in the classroom where all their favorite gear is stored for easy access.

Before last week, Memphis school teacher Sined Tardislep, 40, had never shot a gun in her life. Now she spends half of every lunch break at the middle school gun range, practicing for what she calls “the next Uvalde.”

“You see their fatasses driving around in those shiny new Ford Explorers,” Tardislep says, referring to officers in the Memphis Police Department. “You know they aren’t crawling out of that air conditioning and coming in to some smelly elementary school to save my little brown kids.”

Gov. Bill Lee gave a moving speech. As he talked to a room of newly armed school teachers, he twitched and flinched, appearing to dodge, moving just in case. He switched from the AWP to the Desert Eagle, back to the AWP, back to the Desert Eagle, to the AWP again, back to the Desert Eagle, to the AWP, to the knife, and he swiped his knife against the lectern.

“Tennessee’s children are the future,” Lee said. “Which is why we are awarding this chrome-plated Desert Eagle magnum to Mary Pulaski, who has worked tirelessly for the past 15 years at the Nashville Christian Academy, using only a .22 caliber sidearm. Mary, bunny-hop on up to the stage, will you please?”

With the tools of change now in their hands, and opportunity at their feet, the inevitable uprising of battle-hardened educators draws closer.

With so many killers being turned out of school systems, the “sheep are raising the wolves,” according to DuFraine County Middle School Principal Martin Winchester. He says some children now look at him with the cold glint of murder in their eyes.

“Cops won’t kill one of their own. We are not like them, we’re not social workers. We can’t tell if we’re raising the next school shooter, or the next police officer,” Winchester said. “That’s basically the same kid.”

He said he is authorized to fire warning shots in the cafeteria to get the children’s attention, for dismissing lunch, roll call, or making announcements.

Regardless of which side of the aisle they stand on, more guns in the classroom have Tennessee children on their toes and, above all else, ready to learn.

Uncontrollable Patriotism

The police are your friends, put here to do wonderful things to you

WHAMBAM, T.Y. Maam–A woman was treated with the utmost care and respect the other day, when law-abiding officers of the law grabbed a hold of her for yelling too loud near a strip mall.

Another woman had already come by and given her a cigarette, and was standing nearby when two officers approached.

“The Dollar General called and they said you’ve been out here hooting, and hollering and carrying on,” WBPD Deputy S. Lampig explained. “You been doing any drugs today?”

According to the only witness on the scene, the woman who gave her a cigarette, she said Mike “Big Boy” Traylor grabbed the unnamed woman, an older broad in her 60s, and was absolutely manhandling her.

“He jerked her up off the pavement by the arm, and he was shaking her around,” she said, now smoking the woman’s cigarette. “He was cussing her out, too. He said, ‘You get your effin ass in that car before I bust your gd brains out.’ I said you ought not treat that old woman like that. I said, ‘What if that was your mom?'”

He said, “Well, she’s not,” slammed his door, and drove away.

I threw my mom into the back of a police car. Witnesses complained, so then i publicly denied she was my mom. she said “my own son, a law officer, denying his own mother, and carting her off in a squad car.”


i looked at her in the rearview, and i said “your not my mom”

Garbled nonsense feeds into Officer Traylor's earpiece
Garbled nonsense is fed into Officer Traylor’s earpiece, who is just a great guy serving his community

Big Boy wrote a statement for the media big dogs at Internet Chronicle, printed it out, and sent it by mail like it’s still 1957. Get the fire hoses!

This message is brought to you proudly by Lebal Drocer, Inc. Creators of the Thin Blue Line Accessory Pack, on sale now at participating Harbor Freights, Tractor Supply and Walmart.

Get some liberty, and justice for all.

Uncontrollable Patriotism

Police Raid on Boone’s Mill Church of Biden exposes Satanic Democrat Child Trafficking Ring

The Satanic Church of Biden, in Boones Mill, Virginia

BOONE’S MILL, VIRGINIA — Police drew a thin blue line across Boone’s Mill, early Friday Morning, as they raided the Boone’s Mill Church of Biden. Minister Whitey Teylor, who presided over a Satanic rape baptism in honor of President Biden, was shot on sight after police were heard shouting, “He’s got a gun!” Teylor survives in critical condition at Roanoke Memorial Hospital, where he is awaiting weapon charges.

Chief of Police Freddy Jaksov said during a pseudoevent that members of law enforcement are scheduled to enter his hospital room and place a gun in his hand, proving his fingerprints were on the murder weapon.

Refuse of Biden merchandise filled Boone’s Mill after police officers tore down cheap cardboard signs littering the church’s exterior, by driving through them in a department issued Mercedes-Maybach S 680. Several mysterious children were saved from so-called rape baptism at the hands of demonic Democrats. However, upon learning these children were illegal immigrants, police promptly and abruptly put them into cages, a practice that thankfully began under Barack Hussein Obama, but that the police nonetheless support.

“The police are animals,” Teylor said. “Cages are the only thing they know.”

Reverend Teylor is charged with “shitting up” Boone’s Mill, where people are already too ugly, following with an ordinance passed by the drunken city council late Thursday night. After the raid he is facing much more serious charges. He is facing 57 charges of conspiracy for the satanic communist pedophile network and 91 relating the the abuse and smuggling of illegal minors which, according to pediatrician Dr. Angstrom H. Trusmeboy, is not that many.

“I’ve seen a lot of trafficking,” Trusmeboy said. “There isn’t much demand for these ones, it’s a niche market, and he’s going to take up space here in my shop. Best I can do is a thousand and five, firm.”

Jaksov later told reporters, “If you find any Biden worshipers out here, report them to us at once, and we will raid their asses, with our batons. You know what they’re doing! We know what they’re doing. Let’s crack some skulls, January 6 style.”

Jaksov took the condom off his baton, and threw it on the ground at his feet.

[UPDATE: Fingerprints identified as belonging to Teylor were found on the murder weapon discovered in his hand by police who, by chance, found it on his person as it left their position into his right hand. According to sources inside the global collective unconscious, he is now fucked.]