PYONGYANG — Kim Jong Un was “downed” Saturday, with medics from China rushing to get him back up. Internet Chronicle reporters gained exclusive access to Kim’s private quarters, where he lay in a state of uncertainty.

“He’s somewhere in between alive and dead,” Dr. Troubador, our in-house medical doctor said. “He could pop right back into action at any time, just like Terry Schiavo. With China coming in, I wouldn’t write that possibility off just yet.”

Kim currently looks like this, only on his back now, with eyes closed.
Kim currently looks like this, only on his back now, with eyes closed.

“He might just be doing this whole ‘I’m dead’ thing for the attention,” said one Anonymous Juche party insider, who asked not to be named due to great personal risk to himself, his entire extended family, and their pets. “He’s been hate watching the daily Trump briefings and nearly blew his lid with the comment about sunlight in the body, injecting disinfectant. Kim demanded we shoot him full of ‘Rona that minute.”

Number Stations which were previously dormant for decades are now alive with cryptic messages, often delivered in an original, alert, and hasty fashion not seen since Kim Jong Il died of a heart attack almost 9 years ago.

A team of ten thousand American intelligence agents are intensely monitoring these energetic and upbeat “number stations” embedded in Kim’s palace, including “steamy” emissions from a smart TV and Alexa device “air-gapped” by the Space Force.

According to a Pentagon official close to the Chronicle: “They did it, they pumped the Corona into his blood. It seems like they hit a vein heading for his head, causing what many doctors in North Korea believe might be brain death, and the first known case to medical science of a COVID-19 infection starting in the brain.”

COVID-19, named after the year of its discovery, 2019, is a comparatively ancient disease to inflict on a modern, forward-thinking Supreme Leader like Kim Jong Un, Troubadour noted. “It’s so ironic, when you think about it.”

Will North Korea let Kim rule his country from a permanent vegetative state, or is it time to pull the plug?

It could be the case that Kim can still hear the outpouring of praise and thanks from Juche Party officials around his bedside, according to Anonymous.

During our man-on-the-street interviews in Cuthbert, Ga. a young Korean boy named Min-Jun approached one of our reporters with his hands where we could see them.

“How heartbreaking would it be if it was you in that bed, listening to your sister making plans to test nukes and neutralize “threats” — but they were your old drinking buddies?” asked the boy with an unusually mature perspective. “You probably wouldn’t get it.”

Gerard Boucher of Georgia – where coronavirus does not affect us – told the Chronicle, “It is too soon to tell. I don’t think you oughta pull the plug if there’s a chance Kim’s alive in there. He’s good friends with the president, you know. Great friends. Sad!”

This message is brought to you proudly by Lebal Drocer Pharmaceuticals. Lockdown and chill, with Colloidal CoronaLung TERRORMAX. Put the sunlight INSIDE of the body – It’ll take your breath away!



This FEMA death camp looks abandoned but in fact contains a facility for secretly killing millions of immigrants and processing orphaned babies for maximum economic value.

It was 3:45 a.m. when the first alarms sounded at Camp Liberty, situated just beyond the horizon, where a majestic new border wall is planned for construction. Spotlights flood into the valley, as motion detectors pick up unlikely movement through the brush. The lights catch the bewildered expression of a man, covered in dirt, as he attempts to escape back into Mexico. He is spotted holding a knife, and the muzzle flash of his own gunfire blinds a lone border patrolman who has taken aim at the man from the high tower of Camp Liberty. Before his eyes can readjust, the man is gone.

This is the story of Juan De Martinez, who escaped — not only from a FEMA camp, but also from a vacuum-sealed plastic tub: his PLASTIC FEMA DEATH COFFIN. 
MegaLeaks reports that at least 37 FEMA death camps went online following secret legislation passed in FISA courts.

2019 turns into America’s 1984 as “Big Brother” Donald Trump Powers up FEMA CAMPS over “Humanitarian Crisis” on the border with Mexico.

An extensive wall plan, far more than Trump bargained for, has been put in place and will not only wall off Mexico, but Canada and “extensive” portions of the Atlantic and Pacific borders as well. 
De Martinez’s haunting first echoes of the “New Holocaust”, if true, depict a terrible new low for humanity. “Donald Trump conned us all. And hell, I believed in him more than anyone,” De Martinez said. “Why the hell you think I joined the caravan to begin with? I wanted to see that bitch locked up.”
Border patrol soldiers apprehended De Martinez after a Census agent reported him as an illegal immigrant. “It was almost exactly like the prisons for the separated families where they first kept me, only crowded and with lots of soldiers everywhere. It was an old department store in an abandoned mall with some concertina wire barriers and machine gun nests at the door. Thousands of us in there, arms and legs ziptied, and a few guys with big chainguns at the doors. Low budget as it gets. One day they singled us out, and when they came for me they led me down the hall to a pallet of these corrugated plastic coffins, tazed me, and there’s this air compressor running. The shock of the air leaving the coffin brought my senses to me and I just barely punctured the coffin before passing out. Somehow I survived and I don’t know if I was knocked out for hours or for days, but I was able to escape. I’m sure to have been the only one.”
Juan De Martinez told Internet Chronicle, “I wasn’t targeted for my skin color, but for my belief in some so-called ‘conspiracy theories.’ Is that crazy? I know the establishment is afraid of us, now more than ever because we now know all their secrets in real time, thanks to MegaLeaks.”
Samuel Bradshaw, a 46-year-old carpet specialist on disability, said the ongoing blackout and deep state crackdown on Twitter has made it next to impossible to organize the already limited abilities of the enlightened minds available to the QAnonymous movement. Bradshaw says a full overhaul of the entire system was needed, and Kim Dotcom’s blockchain-enhanced information network is just the tool for bridging the gap between a once-functional Twitter and Facebook-based platform, and the upcoming Pursuance Project set forth by Barrett Brown.
In December, Kim Dotcom released a fully-functioning blockchain-based, end-to-end encrypted digital economy for leaked information called MegaLeaks. According to Dotcom, “MegaLeaks is already fulfilling its promise to feed the secrets of the elites to the public at a rate millions of times faster than any revolutionary movement in history. This informational apocalypse for established power structures is labeled ‘The Shift’ by fellow members of the QArmy. MegaLeaks is the ultimate and final Prophecy.”


De Martinez escaped from a mass-produced plastic FEMA death camp coffin much like this
As De Martinez made his way out of the coffin and to safety, he stumbled through some of the Deep State’s top secret facilities. He wept in horror relating these grim tidings, and withheld many gruesome details, “The youngest children are being kept in factory chicken farms, their life-extending blood harvested on a weekly basis with straps and robotic syringes. Older children are being trained for sex slavery in a vast mega-casino and brothel in Las Vegas, so that the middle class can now aspire to the sick pleasures of the elites on a mass basis. Tuesday, MegaLeaks released the FISA court document in which Donald Trump ordered a small change in law enforcement policy to open the ‘child sex trafficking’ loophole.
In the past, the QArmy has pushed back against all sex trafficking and harvesting of the young for their blood, but surprisingly the movement is now split. However, the vast majority of QAnon’s most vocal proponents are still excited for the “New World Order,” even if it means a “shower of blood.”
“I say trust the plan, man.” Phil Mackleroy of Embargo, Illinois caused a stir on social media, adding, “Hell, I wanted Mexico to pay for one wall and now we’re gonna get four of them, Hell yea, buddy!  And that casino, boy. What happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas as they say.”
Mackleroy beamed for the cameras at Fox News, Live on Hannity to address the sensitive issue of baby blood farms, “As long as we don’t kill anyone like those sick abortionists, it’s not all that bad. Sometimes the government has to take babies, and what can it do with them? Take care of them for free, just to drag down the economy a bit? Everyone would be chucking babies over the border if we did that. And as far as I can tell we’re just givin’ them a purpose. All they have to give us is a little blood each week, and it ain’t even hurtin’ em. I’ve seen it on TV, OKAY? They was smiling and laughing when that robot sucked just a few tablespoons of their blood. Hell, their life sounds a LOT better than my job. I can’t even afford any of their blood since they cut off my benefits.”
But Mackleroy’s tweets weren’t the only ones popping off. Q Spiritualist Master Dorothy “Peace” Blongbottom tweeted, “THE SHIFT IS HERE!” garnering over 10,000 retweets in one hour. “I always believed the shift was coming,” said Blongbottom, “This is going to be a bit scary, but we have to go through it. Once it’s over with everything will be okay again. To get back to the real Great America we had to trigger another holocaust, another world war. Soon it will be over and we will be back in the 50’s, and everything will be Great again.”
Leroy Stimpson, 34 of Grand Rapids North Dakota, disavowed Trump, tweeting, “I QUIT THE CROOKED #QARMY.” Stimpson told reporters, “I thought it was When We Go One We Go All. Apparently some people among us are SATANISTS and PEDOPHILES. Anyway I always knew the stuff about the sex trafficking that we talked about on the QArmy so damn much was a little overboard, a little suspicious. I feel like we maybe meme’d Trump into power but we also dun’ created a monster like some evil monkey’s paw, granting aspects of our wishes that we don’t really think about too often. Well now that he’s legalized child sex, by God I’m finally off that sick, sick Trump Train. All these people who are still #QArmy, who blocked MAGAFACE, fuck you. There, I said it. First Trump took our bump stocks, then he took our babies – saying it had drugs in its system – and now he’s took our information. Well, buddy, we fuckin’ took it back. Kim’s got us covered. I am interested in some of them stemcells, though.


It is now 5AM and Juan De Martinez is clear of Camp Liberty and its unspeakable horrors. “It sounded like a Motorcycle, man. I swear. But it was just like in the videos, those cheetah robots. It was on me man, and it had me pinned by my throat. But Praise Jesus or Julian Assange or someone because it glitched out or something. It did a weird little dance and let me go. I was free, finally free and outside of the United States. In retrospect, you know that thing that strikes me most? It’s the cheapness of it all. Clearly they just want to save a little money, or something. And then they spend all that money on killer robots like that to try to hide it from us. And it doesn’t even work. The Shift is here, people. And I am living proof.”

Qanon Dead at Clinton Pizza Party #TheStormHasSettled

INTERNET — Hillary Clinton’s famous bodyguard and Q-Clearance Intelligence Agent “Q Anon”, known for leaking secret information, or “crumbs,” to an audience of millions of devotees, died Friday following a fatal priapism in Washington DC.

‘Q’, as his fans know him, suddenly lost consciousness when his penis ruptured from a prolonged erection while standing guard at one of Hillary’s famous “Pizza Parties” for Democrat elites.

Bill Clinton, who first found ‘Q’ passed out on the floor in a puddle of blood, said, “I saw him a layin’ there bleeding out of his crotch, so I ripped his pants off. It looked like Elmer Fudd’s Shotgun, after Bugs Bunny stuck his finger in it. His member banana peeled and the blood was just rolling out. That’s when I called the paramedics in.”

Hillary expressed her condolences, but registered shock upon learning one of her bodyguards was indeed the man behind the mysterious Q Anon phenomenon, telling reporters, “It’s kind of sad how Q never ate any pizza. All he did was hang around the edge of the party, messing around on his phone, sniffing the pizza crumbs.”

Bill told reporters about his attempts to resuscitate Q, “They said he might’ve split his cock on his own, ahead of time, as some kind of masochist type sex play, or possibly he was injecting silicone to keep it artificially erect. They did their best but it was just too swollen up. Burst open and mushed like an overripe tomato. Nothin’ they could do to seal it up.”

The bitter funk of QAnon’s failure to challenge mainstream media or affect positive change of any kind, before his death, is palpable.

Darcy Klebold escorts “fake news” reporters off of her prop’ty.

Fans, expected to mourn the loss of their prophet, were “not happy.”

Darcy Klebold of Indiana, 56, told reporters, “We were promised Mueller would lock Hillary up. We were told there would be releases, and leaks, and documents dropping like anvils. We were promised our own, pure pizza party, one that protects our children and isn’t smeared with their adrenichrone.”

Darcy barked angrily at reporters. “Fake News!” and produced a tissue to wipe her terrified child’s tearful eyes, while photographing him with her smartphone.

Like and subscribe for more information on how Qanon’s death erased happiness from my life.

–Darcy Klebold, single mom

“Do you see what you fake news bandits have done to me and my family?” Darcy asked. “No seriously. Have you seen it? My social media’s BIG. I’m gonna #MAGA even if Q’s another fake news trick. Now #WalkAway from my broken family! And check out my little angel on Pinterest.”

“Soros is killin everyone, one by one, and he’s undoing all of Q’s big plans. My little boy’s going to grow up to be a GOOD BOY. You’ll see. I’ve taught him how to SHOOT. He’s gonna get that George Soros one day, mark my words. And ain’t NO elites gonna eat his pineal gland out of his head at none of their Satanic Pizza Parties.”

Darcy, throwing her child to the floor, produced a double barrel shotgun and demanded Internet Chronicle reporters leave the premises of her home.

“Soros is killing everyone, and he won’t take my BABY!” Darcy fired two shots into her ceiling. Indiana Regional Medical Center reported young Jerry Klebold was treated for ruptured eardrums the following day.

Q’s death has sent ripples of hatred and fear through the shattered conspiracy community, Lionel Nation told his viewers, “Our cogitations and rogations are with the friends and forebears of QAnonymous. Today the storm has settled.”