News Obituaries

“Liver King” Brian Johnson dead at 43

DENVER — Fans mourn the loss of Brian Johnson, the social media fitness superstar better known as The Liver King. Johnson was found dead of cardiac failure in his Denver apartment Sunday evening. Best known for promoting a raw animal organ diet, Johnson secretly consumed thousands of dollars of testosterone and steroids each day.
He was 43.
Johnson’s assets have been seized by Lebal Drocer Pharmaceuticals.

An Experiment Gone Haywire


CEO Raleigh Theodore Sakers told reporters, “How we still lost money on this deal is a testament to the safety of our synthetic super steroids and testosterone. No creature has ever had such high levels of power in all of history.”
The power level was so high, Sakers said, that experts believed they were previously impossible, “From what our analysts could tell, the AI-derived shock patterns in our latest electrostimulation rigs were the only thing keeping him alive, at the end.”
Paramedic Hugh Cygnus was first to arrive at the apartment, “We found him layin’ there still wired up and twitchin,’ but he had no pulse. When I zapped him to kickstart his heart, I saw every fiber of muscle in his body resist, and a flash of light shot out of the tips of his toxic hair. That’s when his heart blew up, and his eyes turned red. I figured he’d went Super Saiyan but in the end he was dead.”
First responders said when they arrived, it was unclear what caused the sudden cardiac explosion. That is, until a second paramedic arriving on the scene discovered Johnson was still connected to live electricity, running from a standard wall outlet, directly into electrodes stuck all over the cadaver’s thin, papery skin
The former Liver King was described by Officer Jake Furley as a “grim, blood red human lightbulb, still twitching and clutching his phone. Arcs of electricity were coming off of him, discharging into the carpet along lichtenberg figures.” Furley added, “To be honest, I drew my sidearm because I felt he might suddenly stand up and tear down the whole damn building with his teeth.”
The surviving paramedic was in such a state of shock and disbelief at what he had seen, that he did not realize an electrical current passed through Johnson’s body and into his own, completing a powerful circuit that instantly dysregulated his breathing.
Startled, Officer Furley emptied his pistol into the already-dead Liver King, which he said he regrets, “I didn’t mean to desecrate his body but under the circumstances, I hope the Liver family can understand it was an honest mistake. But you should’ve seen it. My God. After a few minutes the muscles in his entire body flexed all at once, finally caving in his bones. Blood flying everywhere. But what a relief. All those wires going into him, the fucked up artificial intelligence twisting all his muscles around like that? It was a total bad trip, man. Kinda ruined my life to see it all.”
Cygnus said he applied an equally unconventional method to bring his electrocuted colleague’s breathing back into check.
“He nearly damn died,” Cygnus said. “But I gave him an emergency puff of colloidal silver, off the mobile colloidal silver generator and lung delivery system installed in every Preferred Ambulance Service unit.”
Not only is this a pioneering approach to silver ingestion, but it is also the fastest method of delivering the silver content directly into the lungs when targeting the respiratory environment.
Cygnus said when his colleague came to, he was again stricken by Johnson’s unusual appearance, who looked, in life, much older than 43.
“He said, ‘Why’s he red! Why’s he all red!’ I said, ‘Son, he was already that color, when he was alive.’ Boy said, ‘But he looks all burnt up. Hugh, I cooked him.’ He said, ‘I seared him like a steak.’ I said, ‘Son, that man burned bright when he was alive, so that all may see.’ Now look at me, and gaze no more upon him.”

Thin Blue Line — Cutting out the FAT


Lt. Barry Dingle said he was “very familiar with ancestral living, and the technique of self-administered muscular electrostimulation, because other Houston Police Department officers have since adopted the practice after witnessing Johnson’s success story on YouTube.
“My guys used to be soft, fat, ineffectual slobs who got winded just from gooning their micro,” Dingle said. “Under Johnson’s careful instruction — rest his soul — my boys set down their chicken tenders and Cokes, and picked up a diet of raw animal parts, testosterone replacement injections, and spray-on steroids. Gear. Mr. Cygnus will attest that since this so-called fad diet took off, the results in his emergency room speak for themselves: Due in part to roid-rage, and other parts raw muscle gains, police and deputy wives are now being hospitalized at a rate Houston has not seen since the Oilers competed for the championship in the American Football Leagues of 1960 to ’61.”
Although Johnson leaves behind a legacy of fitness awareness, he also leaves a mountain of debt which must be repaid by his surviving family, despite corporate sponsors seizing all contractual assets, including his home, gym, and workout equipment. Analysts say these assertions could play out in the courts for decades to come.
For now, the Savage Liver Boys – Rad, and Stryker – have lost a father, Barbara has lost her husband, and an entire Kingdom has lost its liver.
Obituaries Society

Ghislaine Maxwell found dead in apparent suicide

“Hanged in her cell.” — CO Report

  • DOX NEWS: Reports of the death of Jeffrey Epstein estate madame casts doubts as to whether the names of more powerful offenders will ever come to light.
  • Infamous “little black book” still with authorities.
  • Leaders warned of “sweeping implications”

NEW YORK—Early reports state that guards working at Brooklyn Metropolitan Detention Center in New York have discovered the body of former Jeffrey Epstein estate madame and prolific human trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell. The correctional officer’s report states that following a power outage, two guards later found Maxwell hanging in her cell, after being left unattended as workers investigated the cause of the outage. She was 60.

Her family said they feared for her life in February, when Jean-Luc Brunel, another associate who worked with human trafficker and child rapist Jeffrey Epstein, was found dead in his Paris cell.

Reports indicate there is no footage of the event.

Warden Jeremy Whitlock said, “The batteries in the cameras monitoring Ms. Maxwell’s block failed, and so no footage of her suicide was obtained.”

Ghislaine Maxwell, pictured with Jeffrey Epstein, is dressed like the Captain of child abuse.

Internet watchdog groups and skeptic tanks think Jeremy Whitlock says a lot of things, and have sounded the alarm. A group known pejoratively as “truthers” are reportedly amassing a caravan of campers and minivans, with the stated intention of moving their group of an estimated 300 transients onto the White House lawn by next weekend.

The group, calling themselves the Maxwells, hopes the stunt will draw attention to the obvious protections from justice established by a global elite class of criminals. Unfortunately, the tired and drug-addicted people involved do not seem ready to say words like that out of their slack-jawed, open mouths. Standing tall, and waiting ahead of them is a theatrical regimen of National Guard troops, armed and looking for anything out of the ordinary. However, the Maxwells are not deterred.

Jamie Jo Corne (Jamie Brinkman)
Trailboss Jamie Jo Corne

A Maxwell, and user calling herself Trailboss: Jamie Jo Corne (TBJJC) registers orders to a loyal following of federated truck drivers, over a media platform recently launched by Donald Trump. She also uses a CB radio to spread her message, the post says, which is “received by a cacaphony of ‘amens’ and 10-4s.”

“We’ve heard all we need to hear about the so-called facts,” Corne writes in her statement. “This molester died, and she knew all the names of the world’s most elite child rapists, and we’re supposed to believe she did it at the exact moment that the fucking lights went out? What’s it going to take to put a fire under the asses of every senator, statesman, and known devil-worshipping child sacrificer in the capitol?”

The post received hundreds of likes and reposts, which is a lot on Truth Social.

Ghislaine was survived by her four siblings. Brother Max “The Beast” Maxwell told reporters, “She was innocent, I tell ya. Innocent. All this child trafficking QAnon bullshit can suck my cock. Suck my cock from here to Timbuktu. Now fuck off!”

[Editor’s note: these remarks were left out of the Hate Radio Morning Edition broadcast, but are included here for posterity.]

Sick fans mourn the loss of the most prolific known human trafficker and rapist Maxwell. Devotees know that Maxwell, in addition to hurting children – and perhaps overshadowed by the cruelty of her crime – also went after men.

Information taken from court documents reveal that Ghislaine was admired in certain circles for her second life as a serial rapist, approaching over 36 men on various social media websites including Myspace, Facebook, and YouTube. Her posts included detailed information about her favorite manipulation regimes.

After first bamboozling a target with sex-bombing, she would then crank the hate down on them with a practiced emperor-palpatine like command. By stages she would break their will down to nothing. Finally, she would lure them into abandoned buildings, cut their dicks off, make plaster castings, thus adding to her collection of limp penises, and thus increase her own perverse enjoyment.

“It was fucked up,” says Albert H. Troiler, the lead investigator wrote in his report to the New York District Attorney after working the case. “You never seen nothing like it.”

Proceeds from The TerraMar Project, a foundation Maxwell created to conserve the world’s oceans, are being turned over the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, a portion of which the Gates say will be spent toward ‘Save The Children.’

Melinda French Gates, former wife of Bill Gates, said “We want to regulate the trafficking of children. Make sure it’s done ehtically, legally, so people can be safe about it. No more black markets for children, but safe spaces, with legal barriers to abuse.”

The coronor’s report might not come out for months, as investigators process new details, still coming in.

“Or we mignt never hear nothing at all,” Corne writes. “They might just sweep this whole thing under the rug, and pretend for 20 years like she’s still alive and well, up there in Brooklyn, hanging out with her rich prisoner friends.”


Edward Snowden Dead at 38

INTERNET — Fans mourn the loss of Edward Snowden, the NSA whistleblower who fled his post in Hawaii after revealing the facts of pervasive surveillance of American Citizens.

Snowden was found dead from a cardiac arrest in his apartment outside of Kursk. He is survived by his wife, Lindsay, and his son Vladimir. Snowden had no previous history of heart disease.

Snowden attorney Ben Wisner said, “Team Snowden is investigating the possibility of assassination, but even the basic fact of whether this heinous presumed killing was organized by Russia, China, the United States, or some joint task force remains to be seen. We’re checking all possibilities.”

Among Snowden’s most famous revelations included details of the radio array known as HAARP, which is employed for stealth assassinations of enemies of the United States, including Michael Hastings. Snowden also notably disclosed documents revealing the threat of hostile UAPs, years before this story was featured on Joe Rogan’s podcast, as well as Monsanto’s use of chemtrailing to destroy competing crop genomes.

Expert in international cybersecurity, Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador of the institute of Global HATE, said, “Team Snowden are a bunch of paranoid LARPers. I’m pretty sure, just shootin’ from the hip here, that Dog the Bounty Hunter finally got to him, after all these years. They say you can’t get away from The Dog.”