axisflip cryptofinancial


Internet Chronicle trustworthy? Yes, is a trustworthy news source

Quickly now, before we start to look pretty.

Hello and welcome to the Internet website, Internet Chronicle.

What’s the matter? Real news wrong and the wrong news is right? Not here. This is the Internet Chronicle, where you are wrong, and we are right.

Shut up!

Shut your brain down and focus on the words coming out of this website.

The news happened today. Did you know that? The news happened. You read it here first. News occurred, today it did.

You trust Internet Chronicle. You know truth when you see it, and you trust us. You trust this website to tell you when news happens.

A glance at our publishing schedule tells you that hard news is rare, with very little happening in between that would connect the major events reported here.

The truth is that between these stories, the undocumented world is scary out there. To step outside the doors of Chronicle headquarters – not that we would want to – is to exit into a purple swarming quagmire. Reality is an electrical storm of disconnected, unrelated events happening in every possible combination, all at once. There’s no way to properly report that. Not only has it never been done, it has never been successfully attempted. People who have tried are regarded as crazy, having returned from a land of madness, being touched by chaos and, rather than communicating it, they become it.

gaddafi in shades
What the fuck are we doing way out here in the middle of the desert?

Like water, an algorithm moves information along the path of least resistance.

At the Internet Chronicle, we eat brunch on the beaches of Algorithm River, watching from our signature stillness as a stream of content flows by.

From that river we fish out stories at random, flowing not with the water below, but charged by the winds of the lightning storm writhing in the sky, where everything smells like gunpowder and neutrinos cut the open eye.

Therefore, because you might remember how StalinGPT emerged two weeks ago, or Elon Musk screwing sex dolls past their breaking point in May, when drawing conclusions from these stories and how they fit together, it is important to remember the entropy shooting around in the miasma outside. Laser guided cats are teleporting in from some kind of spaceship in geostationary orbit. We don’t actually know who that is or why they are doing it.

In light of all this outlandish shit, it is easy to forget that Tucker Carlson died. It’s crazy out there.

That is why you read Internet Chronicle. We are here to help you make sense of this stuff.

Happy Juneteenth everyone!

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Creepy crawlies in your Internet? It’s more likely than you think

Reader beware!

There are creeps on the prowl, culminating in a Memorial Day festival of “remember me, you used to trust me? let’s talk” type of motherfuckers crawling out of the woodwork, and into your DMs.

Edward Snowden accesses sensitive files using a mind-computer interface. It would suck to be blind right now, because this picture looks pretty cool.
Your most trusted online friend.

If someone comes up to you with friend requests and hi-how-are-yous, that’s nice, but be careful when talking to them. They might seem innocuous at first, but over time – for reasons unknown – they could be building a profile of who you are, what you do, and what kind of person you are. They’re creeps, Jerry!

They might approach with strange assumptions. Don’t let these passing signals go undetected. For instance, they might approach you pretending to be someone you trust. You might recognize a name, and you could be familiar with its origin, but you did not implicitly trust that person. This is the incongruent kind of shit to watch out for.

“This dumb bastard believes I’m Jake Davis.”

Or maybe they are unstable people who can quickly turn. Time and safe practices can help you measure a person’s stability and proclivities. Unstable people might do the same, but they can turn these tools of simple good judgment into weapons of cyber, mental and emotional attacks.

“No shit ASSHOLE, but why?”

Not every creep is a fed or law enforcement. Some are just creeps, and perhaps they are the worst ones. If they are online, being creepy and arbitrarily gaining people’s trust – for no other reason than for love of the game – there is no way of knowing just how far their passion for destruction may go.

For no other reason, for love of the game.

For no other reason, your life was never the same.


— Battle Hymn of the Creepy Crawlies

Jim Hannaman
“Hey what’s up, do you trust me yet?”

These people can often try to get a person to say a certain thing, and that is where it blends into fed territory – for example, when building a case against radical Internet personalities – but shares space with life ruination types, too. In general, what are you doing talking to people who need weirdly specific shit from you?

People taking liberties is very important to Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour, of the Internet Chronicle Cybernetic Institute. He says readers should watch out for people who make assumptions and operate on their assumptions with you, or people who slip inappropriate things into conversation.

Dr. Troubadour can not reproduce in a drug the same rush that people get from ruining each other’s lives.

He says at first, some creeps will try to see how much bullshit you are willing to go along with, or how much they can get by you —gaining your implied approval or acknowledgment of whatever weird shit they want to introduce into a given story.

“If you feel like you are being guided into odd conversations, that kind of person might be dangerous,” Troubadour says. “They can enter with strong egos, fun at first, but forceful as time goes on. They can be dangerous legally, by taking advantage of your politeness or putting you in a situation where you feel like you have to say something to appease them, but also in the literal sense that there is no telling what lengths a crazy person might go to get involved with your life. Just because it’s fun for them, they will sit and drink Starbucks at their computer, giggling and working to harm you, do you know what I’m saying? They’re getting a rush off that shit that I can’t even approach with TerrorMax.”

Reader beware!

For some reason we can’t have a normal society without shadow creeps crawling in, so just watch out, is all we are saying. We are all friends here. Until we’re not.

Be safe. Practice safe personal sharing guidelines. Some people might act normal, but with situational awareness, you can keep them at arm’s length, safely able to joke around and have a good time. Time and good judgment will tell if a person is truly safe. Observe their attitudes while controlling access. You might be keeping someone at arm’s length, but do they act like you are within arm’s reach?

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For the love of God, take your fucking TerrorMax. This amazing drug by Dr. Troubadour will help you keep your eyes glued to the horizons, aware of all threats – known and unknown – and vigilant against Internet try hards. Their goals are not your responsibility! Strike down their advances with TerrorMax Instant Tension powder, mixed into your favorite soda, water, or beer.

Your opps will know never to mess with Internet Chronicle readers.

This message is brought to you steadfastly by Lebal Drocer, Inc.
“Stay ahead of the game.”

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Hate Technology

Chaos looming amid social media collapse: “Everyone is watching”

SAN FRANCISCO—Agents are now posing as the recently deceased Elon Musk, and are undermining free speech from within the platform. As behemoths like Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn begin to crumble, many are now terrified for the collapse of social media.

Some are left to farm up the ashes, hoovering hip rats into mastadon servers where compartments of human beings are made to live like animals. Slavery of the people, by the people.

what’s up with jokes? you say something funny and now i do what? go ha ha ha hee hee? the fuck are we doin here

— user MrSerious11211

But many, who staked their livelihoods on a longshot that did not make it, are asking: What is the true cost?incel politics

Will the great reset leave a me-shaped hole in my hateful little soul?

Not to worry. As Away Messages fade, there is a light in the dark mists of freedom.

Mark Zuckerberg plans to blackmail the United States into voting for him.
Everyone is watching.

Run away from that anxiety-inducing darkness, and fall into the tender, loving arms of Lebal Drocer, Inc.

Run quietly by billionaires whose names you would not recognize, this nameless entity is a glowing social media platform where you are permitted to float, as formlessly as you like, through a cloud of words, images, and associations, making your mark on the world. At Lebal Drocer, everyone is watching. We love you so much.

Away Messages, by Lebal Drocer Chat is more than a mastodon instance, where you go in and see what the people have been doing in there: jerking off in some dark dank instance.

Your number one source for all things fulfilling and true.

We would never pull you into that darkness where the ugly is lurking. It’s no place for you.

You’re special. Sign up for a friend group today.

Also, Lebal Drocer, Inc. will never look at your nudes out of sight, like they do at masturdon.

We’re doing it right out in the open. Where Everyone is watching.