Arizona Christians refuse to keep ‘toddler death family’ in prayers after tragic loss

“Fuck her. We’re pro-life.” Hello Internet! I’m hatesec, and I am here to mansplain to you idiots a little story about dumb people. Okay, that’s the setup. Here’s your fucking story, and it goes a little something like this: Dear Internet, stupid people sometimes let their Babies die in obvious, easily preventable ways. Why, just […]

Chronicle.SU denounces Muammar Gaddafi

After much thought and heavy consideration, Media Mogul of Chronicle.SU ended his long-running campaign of support for Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi, and denounced him Thursday. “We believe he’s been kind of mean,” said Mogul. Chronicle.SU described Gaddafi’s actions as “rude, unnecessary and uncalled for.” “We don’t like how he treated them boys,” said Mogul. “I […]

Cost of Freedom on the rise

Washington, D.C.–The cost of freedom rose another ten barrels of crude Friday, according to a Pentagon report published by Secretary of War Donald Scumsfeld. Freedom, experts say, might never be free again, according to projections by the War Secretary that reveal an alarming increase in the cost of freedom over time. “We expect the cost […]