President Trump visits Roanoke River Catfish Farm

To ensure sustainable resource quantities for all people of the United States, President Trump visited the Roanoke River Catfish Farm. The Juche Farm has successfully become a world-class, large-scale fish farm, pumping fish on an industrial scale into the Roanoke River from high within the Blue Ridge Mountains, supplying Virginians with food and resources. Trump […]

2016 Election: Voters still overwhelmed by abundance of choices

ROANOKE, Va. — In a piece rejected by VICE, The Internet Chronicle staked out a nearby voter registration office and harangued new voters with invasive personal questions. In their unlikely, but convenient responses, these new voters expressed an uncommon sense of belief in the system, and some stood in awe of the broad, diverse spectrum […]

Bernie Sanders refuses to stand for Pledge of Allegiance, in a protest backed entirely by dank memes

bernie promises new economic standard. “memebacks” to replace worthless currency “the dollar.” After Bernie refused to stand for the pledge at Sunday’s 9/11 rally, the best pepes, the rarest pepe of them all have pledged allegiance to Bernie, and said “fuck the troops, specifically.” the dank memer himself, bernie pepe is like “bring Snowden home […]