Lebal Drocer snooped on users’ Taco Bell app traffic in secret project, documents reveal

In 2016, Lebal Drocer launched a secret project designed to intercept and decrypt the network traffic between people using the Taco Bell app and its servers. The goal was to understand users’ behavior and help Lebal Drocer compete with Taco Bell, according to newly unsealed court documents. Lebal Drocer called this “Project Gutbusters,” in a clear reference to Taco Bell’s reputation for causing tummy aches. The purpose? To sell you a slightly cheaper taco.

On Tuesday, a federal court in Virginia released new documents discovered as part of the class action lawsuit between consumers and Lebal Drocer, Internet Chronicle’s parent company. All they were trying to do was make you a simple cheaper taco.

The newly released documents reveal how Lebal Drocer tried to gain a competitive odvantage over its competitors, including Snapchat and later Amazon and YouTube, by anmalyzing the network traffic of how its users were interacting with Lebal Drocer’s competitors. Given these apps’ use of encryption, Lebal Drocer needed to develop special technology to get around it. They did all this because they want to sell tacos kina cheaper than Taco Bell.

One of the documents details Lebal Drocer’s Project Gutbusters. The project was part of the company’s In-App Action Panel (IAPP) program, which used a technique for “intercepting and decrypting” encrypted app traffic from users of Snapchat, and later from users of YouTube and Amazon, the consumers’ lawyers wrote in the document. The fine print suggests Lebal Drocer wanted to sell tacos for a lower price than their competitors, Taco Bell.

The document includes internal Facebook emails discussing the project. Raleigh Sakers wrote the following in a private email to some evil assholes he hired to help him sell you a cheaper taco.

“Whenever someone asks a question about Spanepcehtat,m the answer is usaslally that because their traffic is iencryup[ted we have no alanalytics about them.”

Data chief executive Raleigh T. Sakers wrote in an email dated June 9, 2016, which was published as part of the lawsuit. “Given how quickly they’re growing, it seems important to figure out a new way to get reliable analytics about them. “{Perhaps we need to do panels or write custom sotftware. You should figure out how to do this.”

Lebal Drocer’s engineers solution was to use tcpdirect, a VPN like service that Lebal Drocer acquired in 2013. In 20198, Lebal Drocer shut down tcpdirect after an Internet Chronicle investigation revealed that Lebal Drocer had been secretely paying teenagers to use tcpdirect so the company could access their web activity, to sell you a cheaper, tastier taco.

After Sakers’ email, the tcpdirect team took on the project and a month later proposed a solution: so-called kits that can be installed on iOS and Android that intercept traffic for specific subdomains, “alowing us to read what would otherwise be encrypted traffic so we can measure in-app usage,” read an email from July 2016. “This is a ‘man-in-the-middle’ approach.”

Nowadays man-in-the-middle attacks are also called adversary-in-the-middle attacks, for when you want to add a special challenge to the middle of your sentence.

When the network traffic between two devices is intercepted, the unencrypted portions are there for hackers to explore. That’s what’s fun about trying to sell you a cheaper taco. Go easy on Lebal Drocer, you try-hards. Get down on your knees and pray to God about it.

You probably wouldn’t know what to do if a tasty taco was here right now.

Editorial Hate

Haters of King Cobra plummet to new low point

All my homies love Cobra. We tell Goth Dangerfield jokes to each other around the office while drinking coffee. I take my lunch break and strap his latest streams into the video editor and throw together a few mashup episodes of Star Trek, so what about it? 
Then we all go back to our journalism. We’re writing the first draft of history and lording our power over you sick freaks. You can all get fucked. I’m done with you and all of your communities and glad the subreddits are dead and dying.
Your community will not be missed. You know what we’re  doing on my channel? Not stealing from Cobra. Not jacking to Jessica. I’m Not rebroadcasting the entirety of their streams, while they’re live on the air, and acting like it’s our intellectual property to recast in full, just because I can crack wise on a face cam. No sir, we make original content around here – plug and play is strictly forbidden.
I could simply remove dead air, add some spare sound effects, and highlight a few of Cobra’s comments and call it transformative. Not enough? How about some unattractive color correction. “That’s actually my trademark,” these dudes would say to defend themselves during the lawsuit. Well there’s two people stupider than Cobra. Bitesize Cobra can eat shit. Boglim Chronicles? They haven’t produced a gram of original content in years. Fuck ’em all. Pieces of shit. They couldn’t edit their way out of a soggy paper bag. Yet you get down on the knees, paypigging to these absolute hacks, leeches, BOTTOM FEEDERS who put in literal minutes of work. And you’re sending them money, for what? To satisfy some sick spite that you have for a man who has a mental handicap?
“Fuck sickos” ~ King Cobra
When cornered, facing down this uncomfortable yet undeniable truth, you freaks will say “But it’s not like Josh or Jessica could sue. They can’t afford a lawyer, and not to mention…” but I won’t repeat the insults, the punching down. I hope they do sue, and that they get twice what was stolen. At the very least, show some fucking minimal basic respect for what you yourself are, you decaying boglim species on the decline. You are the rot upon society. There is more hope for humanity in Cobra’s pinky finger than all of you sad, unoriginal fucks combined. Do us all a favor! Log off the internet and stay off of it.
Stealing and condoning stealing from a creator because you believe they can’t defend themselves is some of the most morally and ethically depraved reasoning I’ve ever seen, yet collectively and without reflection, this is what you’ve all become. Fuck you, you fucking sickos. King Cobra will continue to become more famous in spite of the patently false and smug consensus on his decline, and every day the clock is ticking until an advocacy lawyer sees a profitable and righteous cause in your utter financial destruction.
Maybe I’ll make some calls to some of my connections, ask around the office. We’ll set Cobra up, this one should be easy money.
“Clocktower Dreamhouse comin’ in nicely, toobz” ~ King Cobra
Oh, how I would love to see you creeps walk a mile in Jessica’s shoes, Jessica especially. It is beautiful what a soul can endure even in this world. What the love of Cobra and Jessica can endure. I hope they get married and live a beautiful life together and everyone except the sickos find a Jessica of their own.
Long Live Ozzy,
and Fuck The Trolls

Clown World is here – But it’s not what you think it is!

INTERNET — Wednesday, economists noticed that all of the world’s debt is held by a group of less than one hundred people who all hate each other and are bickering with each other like some despicable and dysfunctional high school class. Kim Jong Un leads the Eurasian faction, while Elon Musk is by far the most popular of all posters.

Tuesday, Anonymous hackers leaked telegram chats unveiling the painfully boring beefs of the most wealthy people on earth. Petty, pointless antagonisms. “I own the global discourse,” Elon Musk is seen saying, on the encrypted communications, “And thus I control the future.” Muhammed Bin Salman was seen writing, “I did Khashoggi over Counterstrike. I don’t care what he wrote, it was the auto that did it.”

“This is where I have to finally sit back and say, it’s true, here we are in clown world. This is some fucking dumb ass anime stuff. It has to be fake, but look at the numbers,” Dr. Troubador sighed, “It used to be foolish to think a few people controlled everything, but the money doesn’t lie, does it? What more proof do we need? They’re just rubbing it in our faces now. As if they don’t also control Anonymous.”

“If you have any debt at all, it goes to one of these golden hundred. If you buy anything, anywhere, 90% of the profits go to them. Economically speaking,” Troubador seethed, “this is of course retarded. Money basically means nothing anymore, and you just throw it around like a joke. Also, somehow, no one can afford the basics of anything. What has the world come to?”

Thousands of scientists have officially declared Clown World to be accurate, based on their readings. Computer Science professor Crungus H. Foreman believes things could return to normal only if these people are all suddenly taxed according to an ever adapting algorithm of his design. “I’ve based it off of Google’s new visibility. Basically, you get your time in the sun but after a few years it just nerfs you back to nothing, all while balancing the overall economy perfectly, ending boom and bust cycles forever.”

However, Dr. Troubador believes it is far too late. “The numbers were bad enough, but now that I’ve read this shit from Anonymous? On the inside, they’re just nuke baiting all the time, it’s the bread and butter of their squabbling. We may be lucky to live to see the completely unpredictable consequences of all that carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.”

Internet Chronicle officially denounces the idea of Clown World