I can only think of a handful of living souls that have had a significant and meaningful impact on my life. There is no doubt in my mind that you are on the top of that very short list. No I do not love you (at least not in the sense that everyone else claims to “love you”). In fact in think I can claim with near certainty that I have never “loved you” in the sense of the love that exists between a boy and girl, perhaps in an alternate reality… but that is just wishful thinking.
More than 2 and 1/2 years ago, I was first introduced to the now famous “Love and Trolls.” And like the curious mind that I am, I wanted to know more about you. I followed your story and learned more about the dumpster known as the internet, more than Anderson Cooper in Afghanistan. Believe me when I say that before your most recent return, I thought your story was a great, nay, THE great modern tragedy. I never participated in any of the mayhem, only followed, always wondering how such an innocent and morally pure girl could attract so much attention from the dirtiest back alley of internet city. Now of course I know, that’s is exactly how the masses were stirred. A conflict, it seemed, had been brewing for a while, you were just simply used as a focal point.
But you have no idea, the emotions that experienced in my many sleepless nights reading every written piece I could find about you, and all the bullshit that you were forced through. It made me sick, it made me cry, it made me harbour a general disdain for the human race that I had never known up until that point.
In your absence, all signs pointed to you being an emotional recluse, and I feel like my soul was mirroring yours. Life felt dull and emotionless for me, the only thing fueling me was a desire for revenge on every single being that had ever caused you any harm.
I slowly drifted away, as the river of life tends to do to us all sometimes, but in the back of my mind was your image and your voice saying, “TROLL, TROLL!” As I wandered the earth (mainly Florida), the trolls became more and more apparent to me wherever I went. I wanted to know how to fight them, and more importantly, how to STOP them. Stopping a beast that not only grows stronger from everything that fights it, but also feeds off itself, seemed like quite the challenge.
But you returned! And all of a sudden, the world seemed right again. You survived the trolls and you seemed stronger than ever! And somehow I felt slightly stronger as well… But once again, this had the appearance of fantasy, since the world for the most part still sucks, and the trolls are still roaming all over the place looking for their next meal.
But then it hit me! The answer had always been there, but it was neither yours nor my own. The song, your “theme song” pretty much says it all… Love and Trolls. LOVE! It really is that simple. My appreciation for love is only a few weeks old, and I just now am beginning to understand what “true love” really is. As I alluded to in the beginning, I have you, and only you, to thank for the greatest story and message that I have ever read.
But the story is not yet over! As the great Democratic Congressman from Texas, Charlie Wilson once said, ”These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world… and then we fucked up the end game.” Don’t stop now, in fact you can’t stop, I won’t let you!
I have always truly believed that women will rule the earth someday, but not the jaded and politically driven ones. The women I admire and the ones that I’m sure will only do good, are women who know what true love is themselves. I know that you are a few years my junior, but I feel that you are wise beyond a life time. You may have seen in my last series of random posts on here that I said “you are probably the smartest person on the planet” and considering that I am minoring in statistics, I have a pretty good feeling that I am right. I feel it would be a privilege to live in a world in which you are the queen, because I would be your most loyal subject. As The Beatles once said, “Her majesty’s a pretty nice girl but she changes from day to day,” and that is just fine with me.
But for now I am just a student, and you are the best teacher I have ever had