‘Original’ th3j35t3r responsible for Aurora Batman Massacre

AURORA, COLO. – New evidence unearthed by The Police revealed James Holmes as The famous Patriot Hacker known only as th3j35t3r, until now. On July 10th, 2012, th3j35t3r was replaced by a hacker known as ‘Wise.’ Since then, the original j35t3r, Holmes, went absolutely insane with the newly described pathological “Joker Syndrome,” in which the subject suffers an acute delusion and embodies The Joker character from the classic Batman comic book series.

This is EXACTLY what the public expected th3j35t3r to look like.

Originally obsessed with denial of service attacks on so-called Evil Internet Jihadis, James Holmes snapped after his Twitter account was stolen by the hacker known as ‘Wise.’ Immediately after losing his account to an impersonator, Holmes (j35t3r) stocked up on assault weapons and armor in an attempt to compensate for his impotence and, as he had relayed on AdultFriendFinder.com, his “small/average” penis size.

What followed was the kind of typical behavior expected from a self-styled comic book villain on a power trip.

EDIT: The new fake j35t3r reportedly threatened The Internet Chronicle with a Denial-of-Service attack in order to maintain the facade that he/she/they are, in fact, the “genuine” j35t3r. DO NOT LISTEN! IT IS A LIE!

8 comments to ‘Original’ th3j35t3r responsible for Aurora Batman Massacre

  • Princess Xenu

    Meanwhile the menopausal cunts (@Mach2600 & @Bitchiest & Render64) who have been in control of the th3j35t3r twitter account have been suspended… URGENT INTRAWEBZ FAGGOTRY AHEAD! BEWARE! http://th3j35t3r.wordpress.com/2012/07/26/urgent-message/

  • the fuck >? oh shit now i know is the truth .

  • Ronald McDonald

    Can I have my wig back…

  • Leon del Rió

    Th3j35t3r sabe que su única oportunidad de tener relaciones sexuales es con los hybristophiliac hombres, mujeres, o animales de granja.

  • Cindy

    OMG! I thought my boyfriend and I were the only ones to have been stalked by this freak. Plus, my little brother told me some sick shit he said to him. I just knew this col. guy HAD to be this “jester” loser.

  • i heard this movie is worth dying for

  • Sarah

    You’re the first news outlet that’s put this out. When I heard the story I knew exactly who it was.

    My boyfriend and I set up an account on Adult Friend Finder just to see what sort of women or couples were on there. The first day that our profile was up this freak had sent three messages. The first one he was going on and on about wanting to be the bologna in a man sandwich with my bf and a friend of his while I videotaped. He also said something about me yelling out “tango down” while he sucked my bf off.

    That was just the first. It went downhill from there and after I told him he was a freak he tried to persuade us by showing us his blog and twitter account as if that were going to get him laid.

    Needless to say I’m glad we dodged that bullet.

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