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Little Girls Under Siege Worldwide

93% of little girls are raped, murdered, or sex-enslaved by the age of 12.
93% of little girls are raped, murdered, or sex-enslaved by the age of 12.

INTERNET–Little girls up to the age of 16 are facing some of the harshest conditions in centuries, and parents around the nation are calling for more controls on little girls. Friday, a 9-year-old girl was brutally gang-raped in Pakistan, and in Israel another little girl had her trophy seized by Mossad stormtroopers. Meanwhile in Ohio, rutting teenage football players treated an incapacitated 16-year-old girl as a sex toy, posting videos to social media and carrying her around to three different parties for anyone who wanted an easy rape.

“These little girls are just being eaten up by the nasty world out there, and we need to protect them,” said Marie Abraxas, founder of Mothers for the Protection of Innocent Little Girls. “If we don’t do everything in our power to shelter little girls from harm, all innocence will go out of this world. Little girls are an endangered species.”

Spokesperson for the preteen sex lobby and snuff-film industry, Adrian Chen, spoke to Internet Chronicle reporters in the field. “We don’t condone the rape or murder of minors, but we believe that the viewing of these materials fulfills a fantasy that would otherwise result in the rape and murder of minors. We’re just as dedicated to protecting the innocence of little girls as anyone else, but we just really get off to seeing it taken away forever.”

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American Pickers Renounce Homosexuality

xhamster.com
xhamster.com

SAN FRANCISCO–After recent rumors of a long-term homosexual relationship were spread by rabid fans of Danielle Colby Cushman, American Pickers stars Frank Fritz and Mike Wolfe held a press conference to publicly renounce homosexuality, denying they ever banged more than once.

“They just did it for the attention,” said Danielle, “But they really are gay. Gay, gay, gay.”

“That nonsense about my family and the oil can thing, it really hurt me,” said Fritz at the press conference. “We’re suing those bastards.”

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, general physician, said “Oh, yeah, those guys came in the other day with rectums full of antiques. The anti-homosexual press conference was a sham to buzz up a drum.”