INTERNET — The Trump transitional administration announced Friday, “There will be no office in President Trump’s cabinet for the illegal immigrant Elon Musk.”
In an accusatory call-out, Trump promised to lock up “Non-American” Musk after his legal team produced paperwork casting doubt on the legality of Musk’s citizenship.
Musk referred to Trump supporters as “contemptible fools,” after his call to massively increase immigration was met with shock and outrage amongst Americans who are already having a hard enough time as it is. Now facing threats of prosecution from the incoming president, Musk is scrambling to hide his many assets from government seizure.
“Perhaps there is a national emergency on the horizon which will require the government to take control of the rocket and electric vehicle industries,” acting Trump spokesperson Ivanka Trump told reporters. “America first means Americans first, and we are going to save these jobs, no matter what some rich illegals try on us!”
Vice President JD Vance has been missing since election night, and Thiel competitor Bill Gates was spotted at Mar-A-Lago this weekend as the Trump camp recalculates their orientation amongst the powerful Silicon Valley elites who run the world.