Hello, I’m Andrew Breitbart and my mother abandoned me.
I was adopted by a liberal family of Jews and still have a chip on my shoulder. However, I have seen the light of homophobia and Tea Party Christianity.
I have more websites than Alex Jones. Like him, I know how to run this internet stuff. I own BigHollywood.com, BigGovernment.com, BigJournalism.com, and BigPeace.com. I hate things that are big. That’s why I destroyed Anthony Weiner and Shirley Sherrod.
By publishing Anthony Weiner’s big cock all over the internet, I forced him to resign. Us Tea Party patriots hate big cocks, and it’s really Weiner’s fault for not keeping that shit secret. My next web site will be BigCocks.com, which I will dedicate to pictures of liberals with big cocks.
I took down Shirley Sherrod because she had such a big mouth. You see, I understand that Shirley Sherrod isn’t a bad person, and she only meant to teach and not offend. She presented an example of her own racism as regrettable behavior. She’s got such a big mouth, and that’s worse than actually being racist.
Now this guy on Twitter, @ShadowMindGear, keeps trolling me. I don’t know how he does it, but every single time he mentions me I am literally forced to retweet what he says. It’s like he’s got some kind of magical power over my Twitter account and I don’t like it. It looks like he’s a part of Anonymous or something, I don’t know. Maybe I should start a web site called BigInternet.com to get rid of these trolls from Anonymous.