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Advertising campaign triggers 351st rapture

At midnight, May 21, 2011, families and clergy gathered into a church to pray for their salvation from the coming rapture. Their church was burned down by an insane man who believed he was “the angel of death.” Fox News is replaying a small clip from his now-blocked youTube account.

“I have triggered the rapture, for I am the angel of death. God has a message, and I am his messenger. All who burn will enter heaven.”

The advertising campaign that originated from Family Radio owner Harold Camping likely caused this man to go insane, and his insanity has gone viral. Reports of burning houses all over America  have become a self-reinforcing loop of terror, #trending on Twitter, seeded by sockpuppets hired by Harold Camping.  The waves of suicides have caused religious communities to panic, and the Pope issued this statement, in Latin:

“Burn yourselves and you will be sure to face eternal Hell and Damnation!”

An information war is raging between believers and skeptics of the Rapture. Skeptics have tossed out clothing, as a prank on the believers,  a threatening statement about the dangers of religion. Believers have put on their own miraculous youTube hoaxes which are much more convincing. Many depict strange UFO activity and people unexpectedly disappearing. As always, the best hoaxes have been put on by those who are just doing it for the lulz. The hoax-war is mostly canceling itself out, forcing people to further their belief in nothing, turning on-the-fence atheists into full-blown god hating baby rapists and on-the-fence rapturists into suicides.

Harold Camping has been arrested, and faces charges for committing genocide on the religious. In such a spiritually lacking and sickly paranoid culture built on a foundation of media, the effects of this kind of malignant fearmongering is beyond Camping’s wildest dreams. All prophecies are self-fulfilling, and this did not originate from Harold Camping. It started with the bible, the most enduring and effective meme in Western culture. Harold Camping has only played his part, as many before him have. Harold Camping has spent a fortune to convince the world to commit suicide. If you don’t die before the rapture, Harold Camping says you will be annihilated. This is much worse than hell, because you will completely cease to exist. Pretty girl, pretty pretty girl.

 

 

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Pirate Party illegal in Germany

Two days before elections in Bremen, the Pirate Party’s internet servers were seized by police for criminal investigation. This application of police force is justified by allegations that Anonymous used a free co-authoring service, PiratenPad, which is located on the Pirate Party’s servers. Anonymous occasionally uses this service to coauthor treatises, press releases, and other documents. 4chan, the central command of Anonymous, remains outside of German jurisdiction.

Clearly, Anonymous has become a worldwide terrorist threat in the eyes of European and American government. To associate legitimate movements for internet freedom with Anonymous is a predictable tactic. However, the disturbing seizure of the Pirate Party’s web servers reveals a fatal error in German democracy. The sixth largest political party in Germany is the victim of a completely illegal political attack that it may never recover from.

The use of force to silence legitimate political movements is itself an act of terrorism aimed at the base of democracy. One wonders if the electorate might become infected with sockpuppets voting under realistic identities, as the internet has. If it is permitted for businesses and government to weaponize social media in order to shift public opinion, why not cut to the chase and use the same technology to rig the vote?

Voting for the Pirate Party will give authorities the right to seize your computers and raid your home for Guy Fawkes masks. If a single mask is found, you and your family will be imprisoned without trial, indefinitely. One day you’ll wake up in Guantanamo bay, where your favorite books will be defiled by grinning American soldiers as you lie naked on a concrete floor.

 

 

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The end is Fear!

The announcement of Osama Bin Laden’s death has provided the Obama administration with the kind of public support they need to push for a new war. The withdrawal from Afghanistan will now come very soon, as our forces ready to redeploy in Pakistan and possibly Iran. Obama has sided with Palestinian demands, endorsing a return to 1967 borders. The political climate of the region, as exemplified by recent riots outside the Israeli Embassy in Cairo, necessitates a permanent solution for peace if Israel wants to continue to exist. Meanwhile, a multi-million dollar advertising campaign in America has sparked fear and religious fervor by invoking the Apocalypse.

Public opinion and religious faith vacillates wildly after such artificially contrived events. Osama’s death and the oncoming Rapture give the government the social capital it needs to exert power, and exert power it will. Arab World: All your base are belong to us.

The middle east is a nuclear powder keg, and it’s jammed full of insanely extreme theocracies, revolting citizens, stateless military factions, suicidal terrorists, insane dictators, and hordes of huddled masses left waiting for death to rain from the sky. Has America overextended itself, or have we wisely created a base for logistics of a prolonged World War? Should Russia or China become fully involved in a worldwide conflict in these territories, their logistical advantage would be insurmountable. America’s economic failures and dwindling technological edge are disturbing trends which our enemies will take advantage of whenever possible.

Meanwhile, the House of Representatives has primed the fuse. As America worries about the rapture, the devils are quietly pushing legislation that will permanently grant the Executive branch full warmongering powers. It is fear that will pay for this war!