The Verticle Fuzzy Peach Smile and The Wizard of the Internet

It was a dry day on the motherboard when Frosty, the malignant wizard of the west coast appeared with Magic: The Gathering cards of wisdom.

He opened his robe methodically revealing full frontal nudity to the Elves. He showed them there is no way other than his own, as he exposed his mechanical penis which unfurled into a tentacle hose and proceeded to fuck the nearest child-elf from where he stood.

Pneumatically, he pumped and surged his pulsating hentai-cock of hate into the elf as he realized its striking resemblance to himself. Actually, it was his daughter.

For Frosty hath fucked more than a handful of elves on a drunken night out, in the days of Elven Wax and cloven hooves which stamped upon the two-sided face of liberty under a downpour of alcohol, bile and piss. Yes, beneath many moons, he did rape religiously.

Tossing his daughter to the ground, Frosty was no longer thirsty for sexual assault.

He then proceeded to peddle worthless Magic cards to the bustling Elf community, among whom he is still revered to this day for his propensity to give away too many free cards, even in spite of his bottomless hunger for rape, which seemed to never end.

“Fwosty,” a small boy tugged at his robe. “Fwosty, won’t you sing fow us?”

Frosty was a magical singer but today he was in no mood. He handed him a Black Lotus without telling him it was fake. The boy was ecstatic and immediately went home to finger his sister in celebratory ecstasy.

Just at that moment, Frosty began to feel disgust with his life of trading card games and unabashed rape. His cock formed into a pistol and reeled out of his tan Big Lebowski robe to jam itself instinctively into his mouth. Being unlike any normal gun, Frosty the Wizard performed autofellatio in the town square for at least 45 minutes, before townsmen arrived, with the jesters and even the Elf King and Queen who all received news of a powerful wizard giving himself a blowjob, sucking what appeared to be a .45 calibur handgun.

He ejaculated a three-round burst of gunfire into his own brainstem and was promptly cleaned up by Waste Management, who exist on the Internet, too.

And the peasants rejoiced.


(Sadists) Anonymous

I have created a group called (Sadists) Anonymous, which is designed to let sadists vent their urge to cause others harm. We sadists love to harm people’s personal lives because otherwise we would have no power over anyone.

Oh, don’t worry, we rationalize our sadistic acts so that all members can feel justified in hurting others. It’s comparable to how serial killers target hookers and the homeless. We here at Anonymous just like to hurt people, that’s all. When it comes right down to it, we don’t really care if they’re innocent or not. So long as we get the feeling of power over somebody else, we feel justified.

We also use public opinion to help in our efforts at rationalizing our sadism. For instance, when public opinion of Sony became low enough, we decided to harm the personal lives of their executives. Nothing like seeing someone important in pain. We are judge, jury, and doxecutioner.

Sometimes, we accidentally go after someone who is more sadistic than we are. We hold these people up as examples of how justified our hateful nature truly is. Nothing like making an example of a sadist to justify acts of hatred.

We look forward to recreating the world in our own image through threats and violence. We don’t frown upon images of tortured people or dead kittens. This only helps to fuel our progress.


We are Sadists Anonymous

We do not forgive

We do not forget

Expect us