Category: News

I HAVE SEEN GOD MYSELF, AND @ SENT ME ON THIS MISSION OF #!. BOW DOWN BEFORE THE MIGHTY HYPER-MASCULINE HAMMER OF THE META, the TRUE CYBERPROPHET WHO LIVES TO DESTROY MICHAEL PHELPS FROM THE EVIL GRIPS OF THE FAGGOTS AT WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH. THEY MADE HIM SMOKE WEED!!!!

YOUR GOD, PHELPS, –YES YOU, OLD MAN. YOUR REAL GOD IS THE FAGGOT. FAGGOT THIS, FAGGOT THAT. EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK YOU SEE FAGGOTS. THE ONLY PERSON WHO USES THE WORD FAGGOT AS MUCH AS YOU ARE YOUR BUTT-BUDDIES OVER AT ANONYMOUS. OH, SURE, YOU ACT LIKE THEY’RE THE BAD GUY, BUT YOU STARTED THIS, DIDN’T YOU? YOU FOUND 4CHAN AN … OPPORTUNE … PLACE TO SOW YOUR HATE. I’VE DONE CONSTANT MIND-CONTROL REPAIR SINCE I CAUGHT ONTO YOUR SCHEMES. YOU WILL CERTAINLY ROT IN HELL FOR BEING FAGGOTS.

THE CHILD-BEATERS AND SECRET HOMOSEXUAL FAGGOTS AND FAG-ENABLERS AT WESTBORO BAPTIST HAVE BROUGHT ALL PESTILENTIAL APOCALPYTIC EVENTS AND THE ANTI-CHRIST IS THE KING OF ALL FAGGOTS IN THE WORLD, PHRED FELPS–NO MAN, TO MY KNOWLEDGE, HAS EVER BEEN MORE OBSESSED WITH FAGGOTRY. YOU, OLD MAN, SPEND MORE TIME MUSING ON FAGGOTRY THAN EVEN THE MOST DESPICABLY GAY FAGGOTS ON EARTH.

Your son,

Phred Felps Jr.

PS. Stop waving around all those rainbow signs, faggot.

The Marriage and Family Legacy Fund, one of many anti-gay groups recently under fire for its association with Chick-Fil-A, has allegedly funded offshore research into so-called “natural” birth control. By subjecting women to legitimate rape and “milking” them for the resultant fluids, scientists have harvested and isolated “jerotonin,” a chemical touted by Representative Akin for its bullet-proof efficacy in preventing unwanted births. It has just now hit drug stores, where it is being sold over the counter.

Jerotonin advocates claim that use of this chemical for birth control is morally superior to “unnatural” and dangerous approaches which often leave women barren. A spokesperson for the group said, “these women are raped forcibly in a controlled and safe environment. They are selected for the experiment specifically for their deep-seated fear of rape, otherwise the jerotonin would not be produced. Before undergoing the ‘milking,’ the women sign a waiver and are paid handsomely. In the territories where this procedure takes place, it is completely legal and therefore ethical.”

Young christian women, especially, have eagerly bought up these jerotonin supplements despite the exorbitant price and have expressed delight that there is a spiritually sound form of birth control finally available on the market.

Currently, there are 19 states in which women who claim their babies resulted from legitimate rape can deny the fathers custody rights. A representative for Fatherhood Under Fire reported, “In some backwards parts of the country, father’s [sic] are refused custody simply because they’ve been convicted of impossible rapes. The scientific proof of jerotonin clashes with this unfair legislation, because the existence of a child implies the mother was not raped. Thankfully, 31 states support the right of a man to nurture his rightful child.”