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#OccupySuburbia on October 31st


This video of police state brutality has created a nationwide grassroots backlash with more unrest to come.

On October 31st, millions of unsatisfied American families will march on suburbia wearing masks in a show of support for Anonymous. This march is planned to last from 7pm until midnight, and like #OccupyWallStreet, protesters can expect to be fed by neighbors sympathetic to their cause.

The Black Bloc’s violent anarchist tactics are expected by police, so many local departments have doubled their patrols. Should any of these anti-capitalist protesters come to your front door begging for a handout, remember that the police are only a phone call away and all too glad to fire a few rubber bullets into a crowd of uppity Marxists.

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#OpCartel threatens to out gangsters


Grim music plays as Anonymous lays down what might be its most serious threat to date. The Zetas should have expected them. As Anonymous says in this video, wait and see.

Just a few months ago, Anonymous was going to war on the border police, releasing their personal emails. Now they target the gangs! Anonymous is just that nihilistic.

Of course, the Zetas won’t give a fuck until someone actually gets outed, and lately Anonymous has been all bark and no bite. After the recent round of arrests, Anonymous has only managed to make empty threats against ridiculous targets like Facebook and the New York Stock Exchange, leading some analysts to the conclusion that no more skilled hackers remain.

Or perhaps, like Sabu, they will have a comeback where they act like someone else entirely and do ask me anything threads on Reddit. Then they’ll start hacking again.

Some day.

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Thanks for ruining #OccupyWallStreet, Michael Moore

THIS SHOULD CREEP YOU OUT

For some reason Occupy protesters love to chase off politicians but not Michael Fucking Moore. Have they lost their minds? Nothing would convince me sooner that Occupy Wall Street is liberal astroturf than Michael Moore’s involvement. Michael Moore is fucking pissed off that he couldn’t get a moneyshot with cannister-skull Scott Olsen in the hospital while getting flashbanged by a fake Hollywood cop. Michael Moore took his private jet to Oakland just for that opportunity to ruin everything for everyone forever. He looks like Jabba the fucking Hutt! GTFO!!!!

In livestreaming the events of Occupy Wall Street, it is clearly evident that many of the protesters are acting like victims for the cameras. At this point, it’s pretty much like shitty reality television for the internet. The people are throwing tantrums for the cameras, chanting “The whole world is watching,” and “Shame! Shame! Shame!” when the police interfere with their differently interpreted freedom of assembly which I assume is the only thing they’ve really decided on protesting for sure.

The human microphone is a sadly ironic and creepy idea. The crowd shouts “Not because of a leader” only after Michael Moore implicitly orders them to repeat it. The applications of the human microphone for mind control are staggering and real. Do not participate in the human microphone. You may fall prey to the subtle mind control and resultant groupthink which is dangerous to your individuality.

The police officers resent this farce, as they do not care to be drawn into a shitty communist reality television show designed for the internet. They may take careful aim with that tear gas cannister or enjoy cracking a skull just that little bit more. Violence is mounting! Stay tuned internets, this next police crackdown might spike that google trend back up to new heights. Someone might die!

The protesters claim to shout their name to the cameras for “legal reasons” when they get arrested. Lebal Drocer’s cocainedlawyers assure us that screaming your name on camera for the livefeed is just a piece of meaningless drama. Please don’t shout your fucking name.