Thousands dead in Washington D.C.

Jeff rips the bong and sips coffee with me. Jeff’s comrades refuse all hospitality. They’re typical American teens, conditioned to hate free things and fear mild drugs. They’re more interested in getting back to a place with cell service than understanding what just happened to them. Jeff and I don’t talk, but I understand that he is coming with me when his friends leave. By the time the coffee and weed are really kicking in, we’re doing 90 on Interstate 81 listening to the news radio cycle through the same old shit. Then something new.

” There are chilling unconfirmed rumors that right now a mass murder of public officials is being committed by Anonymous.  Allegedly armed with nothing but swords, Anonymous has taken control of the Capitol building, for now. The bodies of congressional staffers, lobbysits, congressmen, and congresswomen have been heavily mutilated and raped. Protesters in the streets are celebrating. Barrett Brown has announced he is about to make a speech.”

I talked to Barrett Brown last week on Skype. He used a false baritone that reflected his inflated self-importance. He tried to skirt the fact that he knew who I was. I forced him to recognize me by rudely eating a sandwich on cam instead of introducing myself. He had plenty of disdain for Anonymous but did not like how I wanted to compare them with a cult. Barrett claimed to be in connection with all the leaders of Anonymous.

Barrett’s incredibly sly about phrasing and never uses strong language to describe his supposed position of power. When he makes thinly-veiled claims about his connection to the “leadership” of Anonymous it is truly ironic. Barrett Brown colludes only with the sockpuppet masters of Anonymous.

The Anonymous I know is only capable of self-love and hatred. The hesitant love “Anonymous” has for Barrett Brown is quite obviously created artificially by sockpuppets. No one ever really liked that David Spade looking motherfucker anyway. He made up the heroin addiction for dramatic effect and smokes cigarettes through interviews as part of the act.  Barrett Brown, the amusingly bad spokesperson, manufactured by the government.

As I’m sharing this realization with Jeff, the radio goes quiet for a few seconds. The silence cuts to a live audio feed from outside the Capitol building. Barrett Brown’s speech is about to begin. I hear the mob chanting Barrett’s name over and over. As Barrett takes the podium, the mob is jubilant. Brown waits for the people to silence themselves and then waits a little while longer to increase the anticipation. The man who is speaking now seems to be related to the Barrett Brown I spoke with on Skype but only in name. He speaks comfortably and with obvious practice. His voice rises and falls. He makes promises. The people cheer wildly. Jeff turns off the radio and stutters a few times on thoughts that are coming out too quickly to be verbalized. I know what he is trying to say before he manages to spit out half of a sentence. I imagine that the same idea is simultaneously arriving in the brains of thousands. The viral aspect is thorny and tangible. There is still hope.