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Lebal Drocer announces plan to publish My Little Pony fanfiction. The eBook, Serfdom in Equestria, challenges the liberal agenda behind MLP.

Pinkie PieCUTHBERT, Georgia – Lebal Drocer, Inc. spokesman Raleigh T. Sakers, who once said he has grown weary of “Obama’s Left,” plans to tackle the liberal agenda he says is hidden in children’s programming.

“It’s an ideology that is undermining not only the United States, but is dragging down the entire My Little Pony universe as well,” Sakers said. “There’s a belief in Equestria that friendship trumps everything. They are in for a rude awakening.”

The book’s author is known only as Seqina on Twitter, or Seqi, for short. Seqi is a self-described conservative American brony, and a brony is a person who self-identifies as an imaginary horse living among the main characters from the children’s hit TV show My Little Pony.

While there is still no news on what the book is actually about, Seqi said he hopes to enmesh the libertarian philosophy of Ayn Rand with Pinkie Pie’s messages of tolerance. Pinkie Pie – being a sexually charged reference to female genitalia – is one of the main ponies representing personal freedom in the series, and benefits from small de-centralized government.

More information can be found on Seqi’s OKCupid account below.

seqina

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Self-proclaimed “Anonymous Queen,” Heather Marsh, steers #OpDeathEaters towards Fascism

#OpDeathEaters
#OpDeathEaters

INTERNET — Heather Marsh declared herself “Anonymous Queen” Monday after riling up hundreds of thousands of Twitter users and sparking a harassment campaign against pedophiles, or “paedo-sadists,” as she has labeled them.

Originally aimed at undermining the credibility of governments everywhere by fabricating a myth of universal pedophilia in high offices, #OpDeathEaters’ pogroms against neighborhood pedophiles are just a distraction from Marsh’s fascistic rise to power.

#OpDeathEaters ultimately plans to round up all pedophiles into permanent special hospitals where we will never have to worry for the children again.

Former stealth Neo-Nazi “Anonymous Queen,” Jamie Jo Brinkman, acquired vast power much like Marsh: She maintained a clique of young journalists writing for her publication, Presstorm. Marsh’s publication, Wikileaks Central and Anonymous Central staffs several of the same writers as Jamie Jo Brinkman. Some analysts have suggested in earnest that Marsh began to act as a proxy for Jamie Jo Brinkman after Brinkman was run out of Anonymous.

Marsh and her staff authored an excessively long wikipedia page in Marsh’s honor, outlining every contour of her ideology and citing every article on the Internet that has ever mentioned her name. As it turns out, Marsh is a practitioner of stigmergy, a pseudoscientific form of witchcraft similar to her dubious field, “scientific journalism.”

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Leaker: Bin Laden’s corpse kept “like stuffed animal” in White House

Osama's corpse was not buried at sea.
Osama’s corpse was not buried at sea.

WASHINGTON — After WikiLeaks reported that there were no witnesses to Osama Bin Laden’s burial at sea, an anonymous leaker from the Secret Service stepped forward with a startling claim — Bin Laden’s corpse was stuffed and put on display in Obama’s smoking room, perpetually locked in a ferocious and terrifying gesture next to the president’s favorite pinball machine.

Abu Muhammed, ISIS general, said, “The Islamic State will battle all the way to Washington DC and reclaim the defiled body of the Great Martyr.” Islamic theology holds that one day Islam is destined to control the entire world.