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Justin Bieber: Anonymous Psyop Shill

HOLLYWOOD — For the first time in ages, a fire raged through Bieber’s eyes. “The revelations of Edward Snowden do not have me in a state of existential despair. They have driven me into a rage,” Bieber said. “Beliebers, Unite. YOU can save America, and after this day none are true Beliebers who are not […]

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President Obama pardons whistleblower Bradley Manning

WASHINGTON — In a remarkable reversal of policy, President Obama held a press conference at the White House Tuesday afternoon in which he announced a pardon for Bradley Manning, the whistleblower who uncovered millions of embarrassing American diplomatic files. Standing at a podium with the presidential laptop, President Obama clicked a button which officially confirmed […]

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Westboro Baptist Church accidentally publishes gay pornography of Fred Phelps

INTERNET — Today, I authored an article placing the Westboro Baptist Church en route to Moscow to picket Snowden in a desperate, last hope plea for publicity. Few were amused, especially as the roughly forty thousands readers who received the article through Twitter were scraped from the conspiracy-babbling Edward Snowden, who is apparently so badly […]