NEW YORK – Inhabitants of planet Earth knelt before the omnipotent ruler of everything Tuesday, EMPEROR LORD SOVCHRON, our new benevolent master.
EMPEROR LORD SOVCHRON is pleased to announce the creation of a SPAWNING POOL from His dimension, which experts believe will play a crucial role in the new, mandatory 60-hour work week scheduled immediately.
New bylaws introduced by Arbiter of Order EMPEROR LORD SOVCHRON restrict unpleasant behaviors such as thievery, busking or begging.
All criminals are now subject to the correctional brutality of a furnace of rotating gears, shafts, cranks and pistons that grind these toxic people into dust and reconstitute them into poison gas for healing the rest of our planet of dangerous biological impurity.
Citizens fawn and celebrate their beautiful New Leader, entertaining not so much as the thought of resisting Him.
EMPEROR LORD SOVCHRON warmly greeted an audience from atop his throne of rare pygmy bones, and consumed his strongest supporters with fervor and grace. Applause ripped through the auditorium and surged across a sea, flooding Haiti.
Haiti resolutely sacrificed themselves in His Honor. EMPEROR LORD SOVCHRON uttered his catchphrase: “DEATH TO ALL NONBELIEVERS!”
Thank you, Haiti.