Harrison Ford’s Face Mangled — “He will Never Act Again” — New Star Wars Trilogy Cancelled!!!!

The Lebal Drocer Hate-Coil: A little girl shows her family how she believes 46.789% of our known universe will die in a gamma ray burst originating from the Great Attractor

Harrison Ford to go camping for the rest of his life.

INTERNET — Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, plastic surgeon, surveyed Harrison Ford’s face and spoke to the press, shaking his head, “His face was mangled by glass. There is nothing anyone can do can restore the facial musculature Harrison Ford needs to show . . .

Greenwald, Scahill step down from The Intercept

Glenn Greenwald disappeared at LAX and is presumed in CIA custody

Two superstars of journalism stepped out of the spotlight after confronting their consciences, Saturday

INTERNET — Glenn Greenwald and Jeremy Scahill announced they were leaving The Intercept, Saturday, citing conflicts of interest with Pierre Omidyar, founder and owner.

In an exclusive interview with the Internet Chronicle, Scahill said, “Firstly, I’m sorry to the . . .

REVIEW: Biella Coleman’s Many Faces of Anonymous

anonymous

There is no book which can equal the rich view of the inner workings of some of the most famous groups associated with Anonymous as The Many Faces of Anonymous. Some of the faces are obscured, others are seen through translucent pseudonyms, and some come waddling in for lunch to give a terrible lesson in . . .

Pussy Riot activist Nadia Tolokonnikova shot dead

Vladimir Putin unleashed final proof of 9/11 inside job

Fans mourn the loss of Nadezhda Tolokonnikova

INTERNET — Fans mourn the loss of Nadia Tolokonnikova, feminist singer for the anti-Putin punk band Pussy Riot. Tolokonnikova was shot dead in Moscow, Tuesday, by unknown assailants as mourners gathered at Boris Nemtsov’s funeral.

Tolokonnikova’s death marks the second assassination of a famous Putin critic, . . .

Leak from Kayne’s new album underwhelms audiences

Kanye West: "SIRS Navigation doesn't care about anybody whose families and reputations they hurt when that needle lands on them."

Kanye West is “not happy” that fans don’t like the leaked track from his new album.

INTERNET — Fans were excited to get an early listen to All Day, a leaked track from Kanye’s new album, So Help Me God. Their excitement quickly turned to disappointment, as the track’s unremarkable hip hop degenerated . . .

Glenn Greenwald detained at US border

Glenn Greenwald disappeared at LAX and is presumed in CIA custody

LOS ANGELES — Glenn Greenwald, columnist and reporter who broke the Snowden leaks and featured in Laura Poitras’ Oscar-winnning Citizen Four, disappeared Saturday at a US airport before boarding a flight back to his home in Brazil. Friends and family have not . . .

Bill O’Reilly hopsitalized after psychotic breakdown

American audiences discovered that Bill O’Reilly’s career was a total sham, collapsing his ego and triggering a psychotic fit.

INTERNET — Saturday morning Bill O’Reilly was hospitalized after suffering what family said was a psychotic episode. O’Reilly recently fell under fire after researchers unveiled his false reporting of the Falkland War.

Family and . . .

LEAKER: Pierre Omidyar’s First Look Media a CIA trap for advocacy journalists

Pierre Omidyar helped the CIA execute “Operation Snowjam” and suppress Snowden documents

INTERENET — Pierre Omidyar, eBay billionaire, spent 50 million dollars to launch First Look Media with the promise of popularizing Glenn Greenwald and Jeremy Scahill’s popular brand of American advocacy journalism.

Strange stories from disgruntled employees are circulating, describing a bewildering . . .

Love me, I’m a Liberal

INTERNET — Jello Biafra and Mojo Nixon played Phil Och’s satiric song, “Love me, I’m a Liberal” at a fundraiser for Paul Williams, who requires expensive care after injuring his brain in a bike accident.

The lyrics of the classic and funny lampoon were updated, seemingly so that the audience could grasp the dated jokes . . .

‘Alien’ ships ascend from Siberian Craters

Swarms of aircraft were spotted flying out of these deep craters that appeared recently in Siberia and are now assembling

SIBERIA — A fleet of alien airships is assembling in Siberia after witnesses say they ascended out of tremendous craters previously believed to be created by methane explosions and climate change.

The ships . . .