A Glorious Hellride

The following is the thrilling continuation of Hypermart Syndrome.

Lindsey

You’re sitting in a plush genuine leather executive chair with a wide window to the outside world passing by in graceful silence. Glowing billboards are plied with a hint of class and flick over to craft furniture as you pass, which you realize you’ll . . .

Ninety dead after “Pokemon stampede” ravages Tokyo

The rare and valuable pokemon’s appearance in a Tokyo park triggered a deadly stampede after news of it spread on social media, Monday.

INTERNET — The popular alternate reality game, Pokemon Go, claimed ninety lives, Monday as Tokyo gamers flooded the Meiji Shrine Garden to capture the rarest of all Pokemon, Mewtwo. Reporters compared . . .

Barrett Brown is a big ol’ Nemelka and he don’t know what that is even

Raking in the sympathy accolades: honorable mentions for awards no one’s ever heard of from people who don’t know what the fuck this guy is on about but totally buy into the hype.

He went to prison and his girlfriend went over to Adrian Lamo and you wouldn’t believe the wild conspiracies. Who fuckin’ knows. . . .

#THumP offers fake reward to Kilgoar ‘n Hatesec

THumP’s logo is a hand that both gives and takes.

INTERNET — The THumP (Humanity Party) campaign is in full damage control after a real barn burner of a very special hour long Hate Radio podcast by Kilgoar ‘n Hatesec. Kilgoar’s research proved beyond a doubt that THumP is a political party controlled . . .

Christopher Nemelka’s Anonymous

Nemelka before his foray into science fiction and Anonymous

Christopher Nemelka is a slippery individual to begin to understand. He has “translated” holy texts that Joseph Smith withheld, and is now spearheading a utopian political campaign which has gained tremendous publicity by associating itself with Anonymous. None of the news media reporting on the . . .

Polygamist Nemelkite Cult behind “Anonymous” Humanity Party

In a white leather, white-haired space alien suit the Guy Fawkes clad leader peppers us with a biblical and constitutional mix of propaganda in support of his presidential campaign. While claiming to be the only authentic “Voice of Anonymous,” sources show the Humanity Party domain was registered by Chrisopher Nemelka, a conman who admitted . . .

Donald Trump announces his son Eric Trump will run as VP

Donald Trump announced his son Eric would be running as his Vice Presidential candidate

INTERNET — In a startling and unexpected coup this morning, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump “fired” his campaign manager Corey Lewandowski, replacing him with his children. By the early afternoon, Trump announced on Twitter that he was naming his son, . . .

Just another mass murder suicide

INTERNET — Another suicidal man with assault weaponry went out in a blaze of infamy. Headlines stoked his epic kill streak and offered a vanishing thin narrative of the events as officials in law enforcement offered bare facts in ten second bursts throughout the day.

The next afternoon, survivors speak at length of the more . . .

Griefers of Gaia Online

GAIA, INTERNET — Sometimes I go barefoot. I wear a crimson lion mask and deal wrathful protection with a katana.

Before me is oceanic weeb, white noise chatter gathered around a fountain. This is Towns, a graphical chat in Gaia Online. It is IRC with the added benefit of chibi avatars. Gleeful neon pixies dance . . .

Controversy as Slavoj Zizek talks at Left Forum

INTERNET — Taryn Fivek is dressed in all black, backed by Marxist guru Molly Klein AKA RedKahina, who has some kind of Chinese hat and togas loosely knotted around her body. She chews on one and fiddles with it, staring at her internet device. Slavoj Zizek is sitting on the stage, sweating . . .