Porn Legend Ron Jeremy Dead at 59

Ron Jeremy was revered for his generosity.
Ron Jeremy was revered for his generosity.

LOS ANGELES — Fans mourn the loss of porn star Ron Jeremy, whose remarkable cock exploded tragically during the opportunistic shooting of an unauthorized “onsite” pornographic film at Cedars-Sinai hospital. Jeremy was hospitalized after suffering a near-fatal heart aneurysm.

Mike Sesterman, Ron Jeremy’s agent, said Wednesday Jeremy died as he lived: “Jeremy died while performing multiple simultaneous sex acts on a swathe of gorgeous, beautiful women for a mockumentary in his hospital bed. He loved all the support of his friends and fans and swore he would forever fuck life in the ass, until the day that he died.”

Jeremy’s cock partially exploded while buried in the rectum of a young Hollywood nurse, who asked not to be named for fear of losing her job at Cedars-Sinai. Blood squirted from the tip of his penis as it split like a flower down the middle.

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, urologist, stated, “I have never seen such a large cock in my entire life. Porn Stars like Ron often abuse cock-enhancing medication which can lead to heart aneurysms and sudden cock explosion. Common sources of these drugs are internet e-mail spammers, who often cut their products with dangerous stimulants to provide short-term penis length gains.”

Mike Sesterman is responsible for dispersion of the Jeremy estate. The estate, he said, is to be divided among Jeremy’s family and cock-growth medication hucksters to whom he owes various debts and apologies.

69 Replies to “Porn Legend Ron Jeremy Dead at 59”

  1. Hey scumbags, your web page gave me a virus that wiped out all my saved we pages. You won’t get away with this. I will find out who you are. It won’t be that hard.

    1. Just had sex with ol’ Ronnie the other day, huh? I have to ask, are you a hottie? If so, I wouldn’t mind seeing it! So . . what is it about Ron Jeremy, anyway? I mean, it can’t be just because he has a big dick. Is it like a taboo thing because he’s obese? Just curious.

  2. i dont see is whats so special about this guy. im sixteen and he is hardly bigger than me. not even an inch bigger.i could understand if it was Jonah falcon.

  3. This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard. I thought him and his penis were still alive ?? He does sell them awesome penis enlargement pills, I wonder if they think that’s what killed him, lol lol

  4. THIS IS A TOTAL LIE!! I WORK AT THE AIRPORT IN ATLANTA GA AND I JUST SAW HIM MAYBE 2 WEEKS AGO COMING THROUGH SECURITY! WE WERE PRACTICALLY FACE TO FACE..HE IS VERY MUCH ALIVE UNLESS HE DIED IN THE PAST 2/3 WEEKS..DEFINATELY NOT BACK IN MARCH!!

  5. This is false for one simple reason: he was born on March 12, 1953, therefore he would have been 60 years and 8 days of age at the time this article was written, not 59.

  6. nigga please that ugly ass fucken hair ball with legs should do the world a huge favor and die short ugly hairy pot belly pig i pitty all women paid to fuck that alien…..

  7. for you who think ron jermey is dead go crawl back up you moms vagina he is not dead he had an aneurysum in his heart due to his whight hight and b/p he is stil a live and even if he dies god forbid he will always be the most ledgendry porn star in the world and who ever said her is a fat porkbelly hair ball take the dick out of your ass your just mad because you have a small ass penis and ron dones not

    1. f*** you mom you you must be the devil because he’s the ugliest mother f***** I ever saw my life and how dare him do what he’s done

    1. Just had sex with ol’ Ronnie the other day, huh? I have to ask, are you a hottie? If so, I wouldn’t mind seeing it! So . . what is it about Ron Jeremy, anyway? I mean, it can’t be just because he has a big dick. Is it like a taboo thing because he’s obese? Just curious.

  8. It makes me laugh, all the people on here talking about “God”, “Satan”, and how they want Ron to go to hell. Some geniuses even talk about how evil Ron is, then they leave comments about wishing he would die, or they want to kill him… I don’t watch porn, did when I was in my teenage years. I just have to say I have a ton of respect for Ron Jeremy. He has made a ton of money, and lived the American Dream, using his dick to achieve it. I have ALWAYS said it, and will always believe it. ANYONE in this country (United States) can do well in life, they just have to want it. AND, you can make money doing anything. Just get off your lazy asses and quit being hater assholes.

    Stephen “Hammer Dick” Awesomeness

  9. Female porn stars have no dignity or shame to allow such a dirty rat invested pervert as Jeremy the down syndrome kid ride their bare faced arses 😳

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