Chemtrail fleet sprays along path of Eclipse

A fleet of chemtrailing airliners followed Monday’s eclipse, spraying down tens of millions of Americans who congregated to view the eclipse.
After Trump’s campaign promised an end to chemtrailing of Americans, scientists record largest-ever operation.

Chemist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador and his team analyzed a photograph of the sun shining through the eclipse as it neared totality, declaring it to be the most dangerous, thickest spraying in any previously documented chemtrailing operation.

Lena Blenport of Clarksville, Tennessee stared and pointed at the sun as her neighbors gathered by their mailboxes. As the shadow of the moon fell on her world at peace, chemtrails threatened no godless scientific agenda. In a display of patriotism and Christian bravery facing down the fake news media and staring into God’s light, Mrs. Blenport viewed the sun’s beautiful rays and even saw the chemtrails that the liberals were trying to hide from her.

The entire neighborhood fell on their knees in prayer and lament at the sight, as Blenport cried to the heavens: “Oh God save us. This Eclipse is supposed to be your beautiful miracle, not our mass extermination. Is nothing sacred? Did Trump betray us, again?”

Is nothing Sacred?

That’s what leading chemtrail scientist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour asked during a Monday morning rooftop sermon on Mission Memorial Hospital in Richmond, Virginia.

“Don’t ascribe to innocent incompetence what amounts to a conspiracy against the people, to establish a new world order, and enslave the human race,” Troubadour said. “They know what they’re doing and they will not stop chemtrailing until we’re all eating pure GMO Monsanto foodpaste out of a despicable trough from 7eleven.”

Dr. Troubador’s spectrometer recorded ‘the thickest and most numerous chemtrails in all of history.’

Dr. Troubador’s analysis found an unusually high concentration of cellulose fibers which remain a mystery to the scientific community.

“Is it Monsanto’s pollen? Some kind of genetic warfare attacking small scale farmers?” Troubadour asked. “We see copyright-violating gardens bake off in the sun each year, turning to worthless garbage that contaminates the soil below with dangerous toxins, so only Monsanto foods can grow. They don’t want you making your own food!”

But he said economic warfare is only just the beginning. The side effects for human and animal life of all kinds have been likened to “population control” for decades by the chemtrailing community. Officials maintain the program is peaceful, and only used for local climate engineering.

Dr. Troubadour slammed his fist on the desk in front of reporters in anger and disgust.

“Each year, millions of children needlessly die or become autistic because of reckless and dangerous chemtrailing,” he said. “The lucky victims acquiring food-related diseases like Celiac’s and the less lucky just another statistic in the cancer epidemic. It’s no wonder at all that Trump wants to explode healthcare into a neoliberal nightmare. I viewed that eclipse in the totality zone and now I’m fucked. Maybe the population control theorists were right all along, looking at all of Trump’s fake promises. We were lied to.”

If you witnessed Monday’s eclipse, there is a good chance you were dosed with inordinately high concentrations of chemtrail vapor.

Dr. Troubadour says if you were in the path of totality, consult your family physician immediately, and do not tell anyone you are sick.

22 Replies to “Chemtrail fleet sprays along path of Eclipse”

        1. Only 18 comments, you’re both failing hard. Usually chemtrails articles have some the best satire trolling comments. You’re not winning anymore. Make America Hate Again b/ros.

  1. Your heading boarder picture with the eclipse and plane are copyrited peices of work. You will be contacted by the owner if not removed you dif not get permission to use this.

  2. You might want to take this photo down before the photographer has her lawyer contact you. This is copyright material and you do not have permission to use it.

  3. That photo you’re using with the attached statement regarding Dr Troubador and his spectrometer is very misleading as that photo has nothing to do with Dr Troubador and it’s in fact a copyrighted piece of material that you are using illegally.

    I am also an aircraft engineer who has been working in aviation for 18 years now and I see more parts of an aircraft in a week than most of these chemtrail gurus will ever see in their lifetimes. I also have studied physics, gas turbines, aerodynamics and fluid dynamics over numerous years to a high level and I can tell you now that chemtrails are not being sprayed by passenger jet aircraft.

    Don’t be sheep, educate yourselves and stop being conned by people who want your donations!

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