New Wikileaks emails confirm Clinton brass ‘twiddled the knobs’ of DNC outcome

Julian Assange is back online. Photo: Wikileaks
Julian Assange is back online. Photo: Wikileaks

LONDON–Julian Assange’s oldest love of “crushing bastards” could soon include “crushing bitches” too, after new documents released by Wikileaks show collusion between Hillary Clinton, Clinton Foundation administrators, and Democratic National Committee treasurers.

Everyone but Lee Iacocca has their money on Clinton, given that even weapons manufacturers stand to gain from a Clinton presidency – unphased by her perceived challenges to small arms rights – because she is better known in the military tech world as “the enabler,” a hopeful puppet of military profit strategy.

A leaked Boeing email calls Clinton “a real drone saleswoman,” adding, “This broad could sell airline tickets to birds.”

Clinton’s subtle nods to drone warfare expansion promise a new cycle of state and civil terrorism.

Lockheed-Martin stocks show signs of growth after a group of American war machine investors bet on a permanent battleground for our children and grandchildren. And that’s just the subject line.

The body of the texts is damning indeed. You won’t believe the sins!

File Photo: Hillary Clinton shows dominance by gnashing her teeth.
File Photo: Hillary Clinton shows dominance by gnashing her teeth at a voter.

“Hillary’s a dead ringer,” Trump told CNN on Thursday. “She’s a puppet of the anti-gun liberal hippies, and oh, did I mention she’s a crook? You want a guy like me, who’s a puppet pretending to be against everything she is. I’m the guy you want. And, do I need to say it? She’s a woman. And I think I’ve made myself clear how I feel about women. Nobody respects women more than me.”

Clinton reassured everyone that she is for guns, and for war, and that nothing in the emails suggests she played any significant role in the corruption of the Democratic National Committee, nor does she have any inappropriate ties to Wall Street not already explained by her daughter’s three million dollar wedding. Clinton went so far as to double down on what FOX News pundits referred to as ‘weak rhetoric’ by slamming Putin with promises of a No Fly Zone over Syria, enhanced by a first-strike tactical nuclear option.

11 Replies to “New Wikileaks emails confirm Clinton brass ‘twiddled the knobs’ of DNC outcome”

  1. ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)
    ‘this isn’t an election this is the fantasies of julian assange and trump’ Ya it like porn BUT without the cumshots.

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