Fred Phelps dead, confession suppressed by Westboro Baptist

INTERNET — Fred Phelps was reported dead, Thursday morning, after family members excommunicated the founder from the very church he created. This comes on the heels of a secret and shocking sermon in which Phelps unveiled the church’s secret purpose.

Pastor Phelps told his church in his last sermon, “Westboro’s mission has always been to make Christianity look bad. I have not been a man of faith, but a man of deception and lies. I am a militant atheist and you, my flock, have long been a gaggle of useful idiots. God does not exist, except in the minds of idiots, and this church has existed only as an ongoing prank that got out of hand. My doctor said I have almost no time left to live, but I hope you turn away from these hateful ways which were designed to turn the public against a fake God and lead them towards the light of scientific and humanist love for all people, including fags.”

A church council decided Pastor Fred Phelps had “gone senile” and excommunicated him from the church, banning all communication between church members and its founder. However, other excommunicated family members rushed to the pastor’s death bed. Nate Phelps, who left the church 37 years ago, said, “Our dad, for the first time ever, was completely lucid and sane. He’d given up the act and it was like a demon had left him. He was smiling when he died, and at peace with himself and with everyone on earth. I can understand if no one forgives him, but I have forgiven him.”