Lebal Drocer board calls diversity proposal ‘unduly burdensome and kind of gay sounding’

The company, like other big tech firms, has been criticized for being mostly male and predominantly white.

Last year, Lebal Drocer CEO Raleigh Theodore Sakers praised a diverse workplace. He said diversity is “whatever, pretty good I guess,” adding that having colored folk around, and women, could improve the company’s image.

But Lebal Drocer’s board of directors opposes a new proposal to increase diversity among its white, cis male-dominated Alpha Management team at the top.

The proposal, submitted by Lebal Drocer shareholder Lequita McNority, would require an aggressive recruitment policy to change the company’s demographic makeup.

[pullquote]

“You can’t say anything anymore.”

Lebal Drocer

[/pullquote]

The board rejected it, saying it is “unduly burdensome and kind of gay sounding,” according to an announcement sent last week ahead of its February shareholder meeting held each month in the basement of a Richmond, Va. gentleman’s club.

There are eight people on Lebal Drocer’s board. They are all white, bearded men, except for Lequita who got the job because she was “at one time, always down to fuck.” Her diversity proposal, the company says, sounds just like something a woman would do.

Lebal Drocer’s executive team, like many major tech and chemical firms, is united by a common struggle: being a white male minority in a crazy, mixed up world of political correctness.

Lebal Drocer insists that it is doing its part to improve the stats:

Lebal Drocer has demonstrated to shareholders its commitment to whitewashing anything having to do with inclusion and diversity, which – as we continue to reiterate, but just like a woman not to listen – are core values for our company. Our 2015 diversity report reveals that 69% of the company is male and 31% are males who identify as women. So back the fuck up, shitlords.”

The board said its efforts are already much “broader” than what’s requested in the proposal.

“We already hire coloreds: We have an efficient, proud janitorial staff at Lebal Drocer headquarters in Cuthbert, and a fantastic team of secretaries composed of some of the most beautiful women in Atlanta.”

Lebal Drocer did not immediately respond to a request for comment, but they did pay us to write this article.