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New Leaker Steps Forward with Details of Aurora Spaceplane

The secret Aurora Spaceplane, referred to by pilots as Santa's Sled, has been used to orbit a powerful network of spy satellites.
The secret Aurora Spaceplane, referred to pilots as Santa’s Sled, has been used to orbit a powerful network of spy satellites.

In 2006, the military took control of NASA’s unmanned space shuttle program for purposes that have not been disclosed. The X-37 C space drone will be capable of orbiting six astronauts in a pressurized capsule and returning them to the planet. However, there is a smaller version of this kind of spaceplane, the X-37 B, which has been running secret missions for the Air Force since 2008. People know that the X-37 B exists, but they do not know about the military’s Single-Stage-to-Orbit technology.

At Groom Lake, the infamous Area 51, Single-Stage-to-Orbit technology was first developed by modifying a scaled-up SR-71 and adding liquid oxygen rockets for the high atmosphere. This vehicle, known to pilots as “Santa’s Sled,” was capable of a low-atmospheric orbit which quickly decayed, so it was of no use for anything but the smallest satellites. During this time, miniaturized spy satellites were developed out of necessity. “Santa’s Sled” could be deployed to any place on the planet in less than an hour and release cameras, which would remain in geo-synchronous orbit for months. This technology was in use since the late ’60s, and it has only been developed since then.

Secret spaceplanes at Groom Lake have engines able to use both liquid oxygen and atmospheric oxygen, and one can carry the same payload as the X-37 C with more efficiency than is currently thought possible. The “Aurora” spaceplane, a flying wedge, can deploy up to 100 miniature spy satellites, which can each maintain orbit for several years. Enough Aurora Spaceplanes and spy satellites are standing by that the orbiting surveillance network of the United States could be entirely replaced at a moment’s notice.

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Westboro Baptist Church accidentally publishes gay pornography of Fred Phelps

This link contained True Gay Porn of Fred Phelps, and was tweeted by all Westboro Baptist Church propaganda accounts.
This link contained True Gay Porn of Fred Phelps, and was tweeted by all Westboro Baptist Church propaganda accounts.

INTERNET — Today, I authored an article placing the Westboro Baptist Church en route to Moscow to picket Snowden in a desperate, last hope plea for publicity. Few were amused, especially as the roughly forty thousands readers who received the article through Twitter were scraped from the conspiracy-babbling Edward Snowden, who is apparently so badly hooked on cocaine and DMT he had to sell his account to the Internet Chronicle, just to get a dimebag of shwag.

However, Westboro Baptist found this story amusing, and tweeted it from every last one of their accounts. With lightning fast reflexes, I replaced an image of Snowden with a real Gay Porn image of Fred Phelps, which has been leaked by sources at Anonymous. Finally, Westboro was caught with their pants down, and it turns out their Pastor and father was gay all along.

Margie Phelps commented, sadly, “Sometimes we wondered why dad always preached about Gays and nothing else. Well, I guess we know now. He’s been sneaking off to Gomorrah for a little Sodomy.” The Phelps family has been shaken by the horrible deviance of their leader and father, but promised to carry on the crusade of protesting funerals. “Oh, we’ll be protesting our father’s funeral,” said Margie, as the flame of God’s wrath flicked in her eyes.

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Westboro Baptist to picket Edward Snowden in Moscow

Nude images of Fred Phelps engaged in homosexual acts were leaked by spurned lovers.
Nude images of Fred Phelps engaged in homosexual acts were leaked by spurned lovers.

MOSCOW — Westboro Baptist Church Pastor Fred Phelps announced to followers on Twitter Sunday Morning that a contingent of Westboro protesters were on the way to Sheremetyevo airport in Moscow to picket Edward Snowden, a whistleblower seeking asylum in Russia after sharing secret documents showing widespread NSA surveillance of US citizens.

Westboro Baptist is widely known for picketing funerals of deceased soldiers with inflammatory anti-homosexual signs. In the past, Westboro has also attempted to co-opt Anonymous operations, and many of the Phelps’ propagandists have since learned that this is an effective way for quick and easy exposure, as Anonymous will retaliate angrily at even the slightest provocation.

Russian correspondent for Internet Chronicle, Dmitri Dostoevsky, warned that the Russian protest contingent may be in for a long stay, “Disruption of public spaces, and especially heresy, are not tolerated in Russia. They have been sent on a suicide mission and will get, at the very least, five or six years in jail after they carry out this protest. Pastor Phelps must be extremely desperate for exposure right now.”