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Electronic Frontier Foundation declares open war on Zuckerberg and Musk

Shill-ass bullshit activists from the Electronic Frontier Foundation are “worried” about non-shill activists campaigning against precious infrastructures in order to deplatform totally deranged websites such as the Internet Chronicle.
“It’s betta than meta,” AI artists claim, showing a universe far more detailed, realistic, and enjoyable than metaverse.
Internet Chronicle was removed by Google years ago under the false pretense of “fake news.” The Internet Chronicle is Real Fake News, the funny kind. But indeed, Google delisted Lebal Drocer out of spite for our constant haymakers striking at the heart of their rotten operation. Now only Google’s bad AI translations of Internet Chronicle are available to the masses, an absolute theft of our creative efforts. EFF’s precious internet freedom is a blackholing scheme to squelch out not only speech, but internet culture itself, to replace all art everywhere with a shitty metaverse.

Twitter was purchased at an exorbitant “fuck off” price by Elon Musk, who aims to anti-politicize the poisoned republic and institute an American Empire wherein the presidency will be permanent and held for life by Kanye, Trump, or some other barely-billionaire celebrity just low enough on cash to bend the knee for the true financial elites. All other branches of government are further scapegoated and framed in crazy QAnon freakshows to further Imperialize whatever would-be celebrity puppet Neo-Caesar steps up the crudity.

[pullquote]Yes the story actually just now started, and the above was a mighty ornate backdrop for a short fake news story about what it means for the public commons to be in the hands of one dude who is gunnin’ to dispense the crudity and vulgarity that the goblins desire so badly. [/pullquote]

INTERNET — Elon Musk is currently presiding over a diverse council which will set twitter’s standards. He’s calling it his “Council of Frankfurt,*” in reference to Charlemagne’s ruling against iconoclasm.

Recall that youtube video of a jibbering englishman who suddenly became quiet and serious talking about Commodus, the emperor who shot a hundred lions down, one by one, just as a little thing for the people at the Colosseum?

The englishman in the video didn’t think it would be a fan favorite and declared it was all probably a public relations mistake. But I’m thinking shooting all those lions down in the pit is a lot of work, man, so it’s propaganda. It ain’t a mistake to shoot a hundred lions.

People don’t like propaganda, so they have to have it forced on them thanks to the shitty spineless values of people like the EFF, whose role in history is as the handmaidens to political, ethnic, sexual, ideological type scapegoating, genocide, and constant nonstop manipulation worldwide. They’re out there rounding up more Lions for next week and taking a fat check for it.

How many Roman Legionaries will it take to wipe out a Billion Lions? How many swords, spears, shields, sets of armor, can one Legionary wear down to nothing before finally being taken by one of the lions? These are questions for AI, by AI, created in a computer simulations and fed back into youtube videos. It’s just leading to the deepening gloom of perpetual Lion war, this time bought and paid for by the EFF.

[pullquote]”What the fuck do you think this is, the Internet Archive? Some goddamned spineless Wikitopia? People are making big power plays because the EFF spent a lot of money to wave their fingers around and tell noobs that sending bits around ain’t publishing by the magic of computer. Trust me bro, I’m a computer. Stop all the downloadin'” ~ Dr. Troubador, who added that we emphasize how pissed he was with the EFF.[/pullquote]

“Our spies in many countries report that there’s now a Nonfacebook splinter movement broken away from the facebooking EFF mainstream. The true story, confirmed, is that Steve Jobs put away a tremendous amount of money at his death for his fellow Jesuit agents to continue to further influence internet companies to more closely conform to Catholic traditions. That’s what’s happening with the nonfacebookers. The EFF is no longer totally in the sway of Facebook and Zuckerberg’s false robotic religion of algorithmic tripe. Kanye’s running interference, right now, by the way.” ~ A dubious discord screenshot that could have been written by anyone.

[pullquote]”I’m not facebook.” ~ Raleigh Theodore Sakers, 15 years before the EFF came up with it.[/pullquote]

“The Internet Is Not Facebook, as the experts at the EFF claim. Fact checkers have all agreed, the Internet is way more fucking powerful to the point it has its own shill organization to barrage the world with such magical nonsense,” Raleigh Theodore Sakers told the newsroom. “Nonfacebook only EFF elite members are putting together a council of various industry stooges in Silicon Valley to one-up each other with tight industry standards against the most objectionable content first, starting with those facebook genocides and later moving on to lesser sins like hacked revenge porn websites. Then falls 4chan, followed by the last bastion, The Internet Chronicle.”

“Maybe the Internet could start by banning genocides from the internet. You know how many people you need to hire to ban a genocide from the internet? It’s roughly the same as it takes to shill up an activist farm and convince everyone that not banning genocide is totally cool behavior. Because they’re Nonfacebook.” ~ Dr. Troubador

The future is bright for Nonfacebookers thanks to the EFF and George Orwell’s 1984, Clockwork Orange where they fuckin’ force you to watch that bullshit, and also shout out to Fury Road, just cause that movie rocked ass.

[pullquote]Just sit back and take it – the EFF[/pullquote]

Declare yourself different from facebook today for a low low price that’s changing every hour thanks to the roulette-like madness of crypto markets that underpin the entire future of economics, politics, and ultimately humankind itself. This bullshit we’re forcing on you is totally natural.

 

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Hurricane Ian washes Mar-A-Lago into the sea

INTERNET — As storm waters subsided, Thursday, Donald Trump returned to the now ruined and flooded Mar-A-Lago golf resort.

“Look what Hurricane Biden did to the great, great game of golf,” Trump said as he stood over a ruined sand trap, now full of ocean water. “Nancy Pelosi, in the Capitol building, she must so so happy right now.”

“If I were in the oval office this would have never happened, not in a million years,” the former president pointed at the ruined foundations of his former luxury facilities and shifted from his smug demeanor into a more hateful and accusatory tone, “I’ve seen the leaks from Hunter Biden’s laptop, and this hurricane is a bad, bad deal, extremely embarrassing for our country.”

President Trump raised a single finger to the sky, signing his allegiance to QAnon, “Where We Go One, We Go All [WWG1WGA],” and said to the sea, “The Storm is Coming, and it’s going to be a big one, real one. The people are tired of this bad, bad government and the gestapo style FBI that has been entrapping me, and so many other good people on both sides. There’s very, very good people on both sides.”

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Star wars characters speak out against abuse

INTERNET — Millions tuned in as canonical Star Wars characters including Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Rey Skywalker gathered together for an unusual collab over Zoom, speaking out against years of abuse.

“From a certain point of view, Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan would never lie about Vader. You want me to believe Little Ani never sensed that his own son’s force energies were in the trench of the Death Star while he was trying to shoot me down? It was bullshit. Why didn’t they add some sensing of each other into the special edition for some consistency, take out all the lies and distortions from Obi-Wan’s ghost.” Luke Skywalker pissed off the cliffs of his sequel hermit island and drank disgusting milks inside of his Jedi hovel, posting restlessly on social media from behind an account that is yet to be identified.

“I’m a cold blooded killer and criminal smuggler turned into a rebel, and I wouldn’t become a fed like Leia. That’s why we split up. That where I was meant to start, truly absorbed by a life of crime. Murdering Greedo as a matter of business. It was my transition to caring, and indeed loving, which made the romance click. I always shoot first, and Greedo never said Maclunky. How is anyone going to believe I shot second when I’m comically floating around like that, to dodge a laser? Never happened.” Han Solo said these last words as he was struck down by his evil son, who would then go on to die after saving Palpatine’s granddaughter from Palpatine zombie’s evil life-absorbing attack.

“I was nobody rather than a cliche chosen one like Luke. It was the one redeeming thing about my story, that I was simply any person living a life with adventure thrust upon me. You know it, I know it. I was never meant to be Palpatine’s granddaughter. That crap just makes my character far less special.” Rey returned to the desert after absorbing some more ridiculous force powers from her grandfather and her boyfrenemy. After some hard times and the death of BB-8, Rey sold her yellow lightsaber for 12 packets of nutrient paste.

Disney’s new trial of experimental “chaos theater” features short stories told over interactive Zoom meetings by AI-recreations of beloved Star Wars characters. The cutting-edge interactive AI storyteller is a green technology, designed to replace hundreds of disposable Baby Yoda creatures that must be grown individually for each shot in the Mandalorian series.