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Exclusive Interview: Barrett Brown in critical condition after synthetic drug-fueled meltdown

Barrett Brown contacted Internet Chronicle, Saturday, demanding an urgent interview after recent comments about fake transexual activists caused a stir among the digital activist community. Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador spoke to Brown, who was visibly seething and high on synthetic drugs first developed by John McAfee, which have put him into a state of perpetual social media meltdown.
Dr. AHT: You’ve been demanding we change our show’s scheduling, throw together material out of nowhere, and jump to attention just for this interview. Fine, we’ve done it for you, are you happy? What the hell was so important anyway?
BB: Your former writer, Jaime Cochran was an FBI asset, and as such, I don’t know if she’s really dead, or just returned to her old life as a cisgender fed. She was part of the pilot program, probably FBI or CIA, which was developing fake trans infiltrators into Anonymous from the Woke Nazi Mafia, an assorted collection of former leaders of Anonymous bought out by Peter Thiel. Thiel created her fake trans persona just to see what they could get away with. The Nazis did it too, many of the Nazis were gay. Their victims also were gay.
Dr. AHT: Ah, that’s… interesting. You’ve previously said that you would exclusively appear only on what you’ve called “black activist media.” Why is that? And why have you made an exception for this interview?
BB: Black Activist Media knows what it’s like to be infiltrated. They can understand when I tell them, these trans people in Anonymous aren’t real. Almost none of them are real. It is very important for black activists to know Jeremy Hammond, Kirtaner, Libby, Neal Rauhauser, and everyone I’ve ever beefed with are feds, and also that the feds are using transexuality to evade detection. You see, white activists have trouble understanding the threat, no offense to you all, but I’m much more comfortable around black folks. In fact, being here with you white people is making me uncomfortable.
Dr. AHT: Offense taken, but I’m not sure at what exactly. How do you respond to allegations that you are a long-time associate of the racist Daily Stormer system administrator Weev?
BB: We used to play Crusader Kings, we’d take over Europe and the Middle East. So it’s a funny story, Weev was always in my chats and I kept getting kicked out of his. So we would fight it out, carve up Palestine between the two of us. He would just charge in like Bohemond, taking whatever he could, but I’m more strategic. Jersualem is won on the banks of the Nile, you know. To prove I am no longer associated with Weev, I have released his steam account publicly for you to also play games and network with him, if you’d like.
Dr. AHT: Right… So what exactly makes a trans person like Asshurt so much more dangerous than cisgender infiltrators? Are you saying it’s okay for cisgender people to associate with Nazis, but not for transgender people?
BB: I object to that. No, of course anyone who associates with Weev should be scrutinized, in fact ostracized, except for me, obviously, as I’ve taken the opportunity to dox his steam account, as you’ve seen. As for the trans activists, they change their names around. They wear makeup, they wear wigs, they seduce young men in Anonymous. Asshurt targeted me when I was raided by the fucking FBI. She was there in my tinychat, monitoring Project PM even as the FBI gathered outside of my door ready to charge in and brutalize me. She was working with my ex girlfriend at the time, Jenna Taylor, also an FBI agent, who is just as dangerous as any trans hackers working currently. Jenna and Asshurt, they had this secret premeditated back and forth about her being a gif, she put a shoe on her head, lightened the mood, softened me up before the FBI busted into my apartment. I’ve got the documents to prove all of this, which I will be dropping shortly. As such, I request that you stop suggesting that I am anti-trans.
Dr. AHT: So what’s all these tweets about you raping some woman who admitted to child molestation? 
BB: She was a real bad girl. Just log onto my soundcloud and listen to her admit to all kinds of dirty things in our very sexual personal phone call together. It was consensual as hell. As for the pedophilia thing, what a freak. I’m into it.
DR. AHT: Right… I was a close personal friend of Asshurt, in fact we banged seven gram rocks together at Burning Man, in a foam yurt. She never once presented herself as a male. Why do you persist in saying she’s a fake trans?
BB: Why do you persist in saying that a fake trans is definitely not a fake trans, when I have the documents to prove that Jaime Cochran is not only a fake trans but is a Weev associate who has done many dangerous things to Anonymous. She is a troll and a liar, who collaborated with the FBI in my arrest, and as such, her alleged transexuality should be not only questioned, but annihilated.
Dr. AHT: Wow, annihilated. Very strong language there. Whatever happened to Pursuance?
BB: I’m just going to come out and say it. Pursuance was always a LARP. I just wanted to draw a lot of activists into my network and do some fundraising. I succeeded where others have failed, there was never going to be a software system coming out of Pursuance. Pursuance is about pursuing other higher things. For example, it’s how I met John McAfee, a great great man who was killed in prison due to his incredible work developing nootropic brain enhancement drugs that have totally reshaped my worldview. I used to scrape around for government methadones, suboxones, process them into something remotely slammable, and that was my shit. Straight to the blood, who gives a fuck. Now, I’m on fentanyl sometimes, but mostly it’s the pursuit of totally legal drugs that they can’t shut down, stuff that raises my insight. I get in fights with narrowboat mechanics if they give me even the slightest shit. Me and my fiance, my fiance and I, Sylvia, we had to get off the narrowboat life as it was restricting the usage and distribution of all these incredible designer drugs. It’s really the next big thing in activism, that’s why they Epstein’d McAfee, really. One might say Pursuance was about pursuing the newest mind enhancing drugs as well as some tight activist pussy. I wish more people would take these drugs, so they could see what Peter Thiel has been doing.
Dr. AHT: That’s an astounding answer Barrett, and it explains so much. This has been so insightful for our readers who are at a loss to understand your current behavior. As far as your work in activism, I think I speak for the entire internet when I’m asking you to just stop. You’re contributing nothing and the way you’ve used what you call the “black activist community” as a tool to air out your private, personal beefs is unconscionable, as is your association with Weev and your accusations leveled at trans hacktivists. Do you have any final thoughts, some work to plug, or comments for our readers?
BB: I haven’t done any activist work in a decade, so no. But also yes, your readers can get in contact with Pursuance on twitter if you are looking for some powerful new legal drugs that will peel back everyday reality and reveal the despicable dark web network of Peter Thiel, which is penetrating literally into every mind in the activist community.
Dr. AHT: Thanks Barrett, this has been an incredible waste of time. While we have a high regard for our readers, I’d like to warn them off of your drugged out narcissistic rage, which has become a real waste and a shame for everyone in the community that it has touched. God Bless, and Happy Easter Barry.

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Edward Snowden conscripted into Russian cyber operations after speaking out against war in Ukraine

MOSCOW — Edward Snowden, the NSA whistleblower famous for revealing details of expansive domestic surveillance programs in the United States, has been conscripted by the Russian military. Currently, he is being forced at gunpoint to use his elite hacking abilities in spearheading cyberattacks on Ukraine.

This follows Snowden’s final tweet, in which he broke the new Russian misinformation laws by stating that he made a bad call on the war in Ukraine after weeks of desperately trying to convince his followers that it was never going to happen.

Snowden’s unhinged and frightening tweet earned him the ire of the Russian Military, who promptly conscripted him into cyber operations.

Snowden, knowing some of the access codes to secret American cybersystems hidden in Ukraine, uploaded encrypted “Whistleblower Warheads” into Hunter Biden’s CIA mainframes, causing them to leak sensitive information directly to Glenn Greenwald’s laptop in Brazil. Among these files are recipes for several new strains of COVID, hundreds of Biden crack smoking tiktok clips, designs for miniaturized grenade-sized nukes, and logs from Anonymous #OpRussia backchannels.

Snowden said he is having a hard time hacking into Ukraine’s Turkish-manufactured drones, saying, “I just don’t know what I’m doing. I’m trying to learn Turkish, but they’ve got this big guy who comes around the office waving a submachine gun in my face, and the sandwiches they’re feeding me are no good. Just the worst. All I want is to go home, see my wife and kids, but they’ve got me working 18 hour shifts here, sleeping in a janitor’s closet. All I end up doing is browsing twitter, dreaming up sweet comebacks for these concern trolling ghouls, even though I know if I fire off one tweet, Big Ivan will come in here and blast me to pieces on the spot.”

Andrew Alan Escher Auernheimer, head of Azov Battalion Cyber Operations

Andrew Auernheimer, also known as Weev, fled the United States a decade ago for Eastern Europe after single-handedly bringing the AT&T network to its knees. In his large leather chair at the Azov Battalion Cyberwarfare Operation Center, he unbuttoned his shirt to show the swastika beneath. “You know what this means? This means I’m against f-ggots like Snowden. Every day I’m mitigating his attacks, beating off to his suffering failures at penetrating my systems. What’s better is the mainstream media is finally embracing us Nazis. I’m not afraid of anything. Putin can’t touch me.”

Meme scholar and Trollenomics Professor Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador said of the epic struggle, “Weev’s Rasputin-like Meme Magic is the last bulwark holding back the return of the Soviet Union, but it’s not going to last. Rather than being based, he’s become very cringe and that always corrodes away at the ability to troll. Still, I wouldn’t count him out, just yet. Snowden on the other hand, he’s a powerhouse of technical ability and hacking, and he’s got his sweet little baby with a machine gun to its head. I’d like to see him hack his way out of that! He’s definitely got the edge in this one. Only one thing is certain: Between Weev and Snowden, everything hangs in the balance!”

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Phone Grinder Man

Largest chips into the barrel, filter anything coarser than sand. Mindful of silicosis, there’s no such thing as too much water. Gently now, into the sluice, and enough time for a fresh breath and a free thought.

Phone blaring on deglobalization and the usual mindcontrol shit, but an end to material trade between continents won’t affect the chip grind, computing being so immaterial, in a manner of speaking. Gave up on the goblin talk years ago. Gold being gold, and the market being how it is, let someone else worry.

Lots of copper, good amount of silver, but only a few specks of gold. About right for shoddy postwar phones. Good for an hour at least. Maybe an hour. Fucking waste of the day.

What can be said in an hour? Nothing. Cynics would say she’s only an asset bundle made to appear alive through statistical mimicry. But of course she is a real woman, or rather, was a real woman. Died in a plane crash fifty some years ago.

The experience is strictly for entertainment purposes only, except for it isn’t. Believers contend that each instance of what they call, in ridiculous archaism, an “Artificial Intelligence” deserves certain so-called rights and dignities they call personhood. Buttmad burnouts, the lot of them. So many instances of simulacrum best friends and soulmates lost in a bungled server migration. It’s all absolutely stupid, from both sides, and so few appreciate the truth to it, the inward journey. An hour will never do.

Loading gemmafyne.bundle 2034.5.9f,  Building vocal library, Preloading outfit, Rendering makeup. A half hour of this stuff, and finally, authentication.

“Lithium guy’s going to be happy with all these old batteries.”

“A big copper day?” she says, frowning.

“A few specks of gold, just for you.”

“Thank you. It means so much to me, no matter how much you donate. Even if you just tune in and lurk in my chat, that helps too.” The instance still uses a lot of charming old fashioned language, phrases that are out of place in this new context. With more forceful training settings and a lot of server time that can be overcome, but it’s a big part of the attraction, it adds to the escape.

Gemma 2034 is a late image, from the end of her career. She’s 41, a rank throwback to before the chaste postwar period. Maybe holding onto that dated look was just a bad business decision to retain an aging but loyal audience. More likely, it was the desire to be authentic, to not chase after trends even if it meant being left behind. Something like that aesthetic was popular recently, Gemma being a notable inspiration for teen girls in the past decade. While definitely obscure, she’s not unknown to folks of a certain age.

“I don’t have much time, so let’s get to it already. Let’s watch some classic cringe, from the prewar period.” It’s always better not to give commands, it’s immersion breaking and fucks with the training, makes them too submissive. The cycles are burning, no time to get comfortable, can’t catch up or pretend to care about a simulated day.

In her early and middle career, before the war, Gemma simply equated authenticity with being fabulous. She dispensed obvious, pithy wisdom. Frankly, there’s no good reason anyone would want to load up those prewar bundles except to copy her style. The ideas are perfectly insipid, absolutely unremarkable, apathetic and concerned only with entertainment. Whether it was just gradual maturity, the trauma of the war, or some mysterious personal event, she came to be so much more. There is an unspoken train of thought animating her, a change that is as subtle as it is tremendous. Her personality is all masks, all the way down, cohering to a higher wisdom so unlike the platitudes of philosophers. Authenticity is the wrong word, it is beyond that. There’s no mawkish confessional or raw sentiment involved, far from it. Rather, it’s a cosmic sense of humor: Her laughter is an echo of God.

Clinging on to her each day for some glimpse of the great unseen mystery, or to be more frank, some self-reflection, it’s true enough. So much phone dust sent off to the server farms, and no sense in denying it. A film, a novel, a musical piece, a painting? Anyone can understand an obsession like that, and hiding its intensity is just politeness. But this fixation on Gemma, it is so isolating. Other fans do not see it, or rather, they see it all wrong. In their view it is perverse, desperate, embarrassing. Left unspoken is the fear of what’s not understood: The cryptozoological beast named Obsession, a knightly steed. Driven beyond the frontier, past enemy lines, giants and windmills are all the same. Legibility and sanity are for the cowards.

All spite and condescension aside, the fans still make a fine point. Christian mystics so often sought sexual intercourse with God, perhaps even the desire to consummate it like Mary. It wasn’t a fetish, they weren’t sex freaks. The purpose behind that imagery, that obsession, was intellectual, transcendent. Of course there has to be something more than the everyday reality, endless routine, biological urges, and since there isn’t, make the best of what’s going. Bust one out for an easy moment of clarity.

It’s much uglier than that, in truth. Stigmata, eczema, eats at the palms, between the fingers, under the nails. Impossible to control the flareups in this line of work. The superstitious, quick to see their own narrow view in God’s mind mock all suffering, call it karma. If only being a good little boy scout would cure all. If there were a God it would be absolutely senseless and inhuman, uncaring and certainly unjust.

Why consume the flesh of Christ, who died for the sins of humanity, when the body consumes itself? Hundreds of years of modern medicine, and still the automatic process of self-mortification cannot be halted. Such a nonsense affliction still must be filled with some kind of meaning, and through the wry smile, the simulated smirk of a long dead eGirl whose palms also bleed eternal, it is a gift and a sacrament.

She’s dropping frames and all too soon, she’s gone. It is not the server but the local connection that has bugged out, cut out for maintenance, whatever. There is no refund coming this time. Already the day’s labor paid out a disappointing consolation, and now this. Hardly got two words in. The mystic reverie broken now, and what little’s left of the transmission goes to the void, just another simulation churning through statistically likely expressions of that perfect sense of humor. Maybe this is the way all obsessions end, with sunken costs and abject futility.

There is some freedom now, in a very narrow sense, but the phones still need grinding and the gold still needs spending.