THIS SHOULD CREEP YOU OUT

For some reason Occupy protesters love to chase off politicians but not Michael Fucking Moore. Have they lost their minds? Nothing would convince me sooner that Occupy Wall Street is liberal astroturf than Michael Moore’s involvement. Michael Moore is fucking pissed off that he couldn’t get a moneyshot with cannister-skull Scott Olsen in the hospital while getting flashbanged by a fake Hollywood cop. Michael Moore took his private jet to Oakland just for that opportunity to ruin everything for everyone forever. He looks like Jabba the fucking Hutt! GTFO!!!!

In livestreaming the events of Occupy Wall Street, it is clearly evident that many of the protesters are acting like victims for the cameras. At this point, it’s pretty much like shitty reality television for the internet. The people are throwing tantrums for the cameras, chanting “The whole world is watching,” and “Shame! Shame! Shame!” when the police interfere with their differently interpreted freedom of assembly which I assume is the only thing they’ve really decided on protesting for sure.

The human microphone is a sadly ironic and creepy idea. The crowd shouts “Not because of a leader” only after Michael Moore implicitly orders them to repeat it. The applications of the human microphone for mind control are staggering and real. Do not participate in the human microphone. You may fall prey to the subtle mind control and resultant groupthink which is dangerous to your individuality.

The police officers resent this farce, as they do not care to be drawn into a shitty communist reality television show designed for the internet. They may take careful aim with that tear gas cannister or enjoy cracking a skull just that little bit more. Violence is mounting! Stay tuned internets, this next police crackdown might spike that google trend back up to new heights. Someone might die!

The protesters claim to shout their name to the cameras for “legal reasons” when they get arrested. Lebal Drocer’s cocainedlawyers assure us that screaming your name on camera for the livefeed is just a piece of meaningless drama. Please don’t shout your fucking name.

The Occupy (Infest) movement has taken its first serious blow in Oakland, California. Tuesday morning, peace officers protected the city from this Infestation by firing off tear gas bombs while the Marxist sinners slept, sedated by heroin and marijuana. This destructive and hateful element was removed from the streets and arrested, and if there was any justice in this country, they would face capital punishment for high treason.

Mayor Bloomberg should take a lesson from the inspired leadership in Oakland and clean the rats and cockroaches that look like humans out of Zucotti Park. These disgusting dregs of “humanity” are not exercising their freedom of speech, they are abusing it. If Infest Wall Street got what they wanted, everyone in America would have free food and access to illegal drugs. America is becoming the next Sodom and Gomorrah.

Innocent children have witnessed horrific sights at the Infestation on Wall Street including public gay sex, widespread heroin use, urination, defecation, and vulgar signs promoting Marxism. Not only that, but this allegedly “peaceful” protest has turned violent as members of the Infestation attack innocent riot police who are only trying to maintain order. One “protester” surprised a group of female police officers by firing pepper spray into their faces.

Since local governments have been craven and cowardly, good Americans look to the Tea Party for a solution to this outbreak of social cancer. Please, if you are a good member of the Tea Party or a Great American, now is the time to step up and make a stand against Evil in today’s world. You are chemo. They are cancer.

A few months ago, Presstorm.com consisted of a group of mostly well-meaning writers commenting on topics that were purportedly too hard-hitting for mainstream media. Some of these writers were serious journalists and some wrote meaningful editorials. Now there is nothing left but the pedantic opining of Jamie Jo Corne, although no one knows what her real name is. Incredibly, Corne has lost nearly 900 followers on Twitter in the past two weeks. She is truly a desperate outcast.

Jamie Jo Corne is an ex-con with a history of personality and mood disorders and also the mother of a very old man’s children. That’s a lot of cannon fodder for the trolls of the internet, but it’s definitely not enough, on its own, to justify the level of hate the internet has for Corne. In all frankness, Corne has the internet’s worst case of Unwarranted Self Importance, a subject the writers at Chronicle.SU hold several doctorates in. We teach a class every other Tuesday at Virginia Western Community College, if you’re interested.

Presstorm.com masquerades as investigative journalism, but it is no more than a soapbox for the rantings of Jamie Jo Corne. In her latest piece about Anonymous, The Passion of Slavery Within Anonymous, Corne extensively quotes the founding fathers, who themselves were slavers. Corne’s thesis that anonymity is the tool of the cowardly social reformer is an old argument that might have pissed off Anonymous at one point in time, but no one cares anymore.

In another story, Jamie Jo Corne chronicles her “investigation” of Anonymous, where she spent ten months on friendly terms with the collective she now hates. Corne claims that in the ten months investigating, the most insightful thing she learned was that “the majority of Anonymous was much like a cult.” Not much of an investigation, and again, this is well-trodden ground. The word cult has a lot of meaningless negative connotations, but yes, we all know Anonymous is like a cult. Any subculture like punks or hippies have these features. Again, the “investigation” yields nothing of value.

In conclusion, unfollow @JamieCorne so I can stop writing about her. Create some Anonymous operation or campaign if you have to. I keep looking for something of value in Jamie Jo Corne, but it’s not there. This shit is a big waste of my time. Each rule 34 makes me die a little more on the inside, because I know she just enjoys the attention.