Author: Kilgoar

This prayer is for all the thousands of visitors funneled into Chronicle.SU from google, believing they have found a pornography web site. Take your hands off your penis and kneel for this. When your family left for church this morning and you refused to go, we know it was so you could masturbate to Internet porn when everyone left the house. This prayer is for you.

Let us pray.

Hallowed be our Lord and Savior Inglip, director of cats and CEO of the Internets.
On this Sunday, make us strong oh Lord, for we have sinned.
We have walked through the valley of the shadow of /b/,
We have bickered with your followers on Twitter,
We have masturbated to your porn twice a day,
And we have streamed illegal content directly into our hard drives.
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into Anonymous,
For thine is the glory,
The Power
And the Internets

Amen

As a fellow Representative of Anonymous and friend of Barrett Brown, I have been shocked by recent statements he made in regards to #OpCartel. He posed an open threat to the notorious Zetas, timed perfectly to coincide with news of a major book deal with the decidedly anti-Wikileaks corporation Amazon. While 99% of Anonymous clearly and categorically disowns Brown’s pet project #OpCartel, he works the phones day and night to convince the world the fight is still on. Did Barrett Brown forget that the Internet is serious business?

It is of course absurd to suggest that Brown should remain silent simply because his actions will put lives in danger. This is much more important than that and he’s killed people with Anonymous press releases in North Africa before anyway. He instigated the Arab Spring. Hopefully, this time an army of angry kids in Guy Fawke’s masks will emerge from the shadows, knives in hand, and slit the throats of Zetas with magic dox to steady their hand. Or, in reality, a few wild accusations will be made with questionable evidence obtained through illegal hacking.

Barrett Brown has already connected District Attorney Ron Moore of Asheville, NC with the Zetas. There’s no story. No evidence. Just baseless claims that Brown can only substantiate with stolen information he has not yet made public. Even in a world where rules are quickly changing, that’s not ethical or responsible. Rupert Murdoch uses these same tactics. As #OccupyWallStreet protesters chant, “Shame! Shame! Shame! Shame! Shame!”

Brown has become the first person to ever post a will on Pastebin, outlining a confusing essay contest that will distribute his funds to Tanzanian villages via an essay contest.

Extra Credit:

Barrett Brown once recorded an argument with his girlfriend’s roommate and posted it on Reddit. In the video, which has been deleted, he angrily lists the publications that he has written for to prove he’s winning the argument. This has become his mantra of self-importance, repeated with a practiced swagger. In Anonymous, this is called a “namefag.”