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Ryan is the Apocalypse

Some say Ryan is the second coming of Jesus, a heroic character who freed AnonOps from the perils of evil dictatorial rule by scamming his way into a position of trust. There is little doubt that “Ryan” is controlled by a small cabal of namefags such as JoePie, Kilgore Trout, Billy Walshe, Barrett Brown, Owen, Pseudonymous, Ol’ Brutus, Ronny Nitro, and the shadowy James K Galloway, rumored secret CEO of Lebal Drocer, Inc.  Sacrificial human offerings are made to the altar of Inglip, a terminal where Kilgore Trout deciphers the thousands of Captchas from AnonNews. Inglip speaks to Trout through this oracle.

Ryan is an 18 year old social engineering prodigy who has been pulled into the cult of Inglip. While Trout will not yet confirm that Ryan is in fact the living embodiment of Inglip, he has stated that Ryan is the most talented prophet since Ol’ Brutus. At only 18, Ryan has been able to scam the owners of AnonOps into finally scaring off their dwindling, concerned membership. Ryan stands as an icon for liberation from the shackles of tyranny.

Ryan continues to perform miracles of doxing and hacking so extraordinary that the Feds have totally ignored him out of awe. Aaron Barr has pledged himself to the service of Ryan, forever. Dare any entity attempt to hack back at Ryan, they will face utmost raepage.

Inglip has predicted that the true messiah should be crucified, on cam, aside George Hotz and Kilgore Trout by suited men in Guy Fawkes masks. From there, Ryan will use his direct video link to hijack the minds of billions of onlookers. Because of the unbalanced massing of consciousness, Ryan will begin to implode and re-trigger the big bang. A better universe will be born, full of trollfaces and rage comics.

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Anonymous denies Anonymous exists

Today, Anonymous denied doing everything ever. AnonOps has split into factions that are hell-bent on publishing the largest body of lies and personal documents in the history of the world. Meanwhile, the FBI is closing in on everybody who ever used the name Anonymous. Anonymous has since denied that Anonymous even exists. Now that every single Anon has been doxed, there is no longer an Anonymous Anon. Therefore, Anonymous no longer exists, and perhaps never did. Also, all the dox are fake.

Anonymous still maintains that it is morally above data theft and would never condone the attack on Sony. While there is plenty of evidence that implicates Anonymous, this theory is not consistent with the upright reputation for civil disobedience that Anonymous is rightly known for.

There is an army of sockpuppets built to leaked HBGary specifications being used by both sides of the Great Anon Schism. The metalgear is continuously downboating all Chronicle.SU articles and posting lies just for the fun. Anonymous has denied that Chronicle.SU is teh lulz, a final denial that will implode Anonymous into a black hole of self-denying non-existence.

“We never let a bunch of criminals, scammers, and liars take over positions of power and organize Anonymous into some phony IRC where everyone rats eachother out!” – Barrett Brown

 

 

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Someone's going to take over the world. Osama Lives!

Listen, right now the United States is engineering complete ownership of the entire world. Osama Bin Laden has always worked for our government. He was raised in a laboratory and bred for evil. Then, after we conditioned and trained him, he set to work False Flagging all over the world. Now we own all teh OiLZ! LULZ!!! World War 3 is about to break out and everyone’s going to run out of gas but teh USA. Hell, America controls Europe with NATO and uses the third world as slave-states. We’re slow-hitlering. Did you know that HAARP radio waves can wipe out whole flocks of birds?

The grays have a kind of multi-dimensional control of the universe that I can’t comprehend. As far as I know, they created life as a kind of computer simulation and pop in whenever they need to conduct an experiment. They have an obsession with cows. And anuses. And how much cow meat you have in your anus. They are trying to send you a message.

The Bilderberg group are extremely rich people who pull all the strings on Earth by giving out billions of dollars like pimp-daddyz.  Alex Jones stalks them, because like me, he knows how evil they are. I know they’re paying him off. If we don’t do something about them, they’ll just merge America and Europe into one huge corporation state. America would be exactly like China. These people paid Osama for 9/11 through the CIA, which they own.

There is a group of super-rich ancient druids who meet at Bohemian Grove and get wasted in front of a giant owl. They are also stalked by Alex Jones. He even broke in one time, and crashed their ritual. It was really gnarly, there’s this giant owl, fireworks, and evil rich people. The footage is now on sale.

Freemasons are a Teutonic cult that holds the power of eternal youth and the Holy Grail. They came to America before anyone, and wrote our history down before it ever happened. They have always been in control. They have never been in control. They leave symbols on our money and shit, just to remind us. They’re staring at us like the eye of Sauron, from every dollar bill.

There’s a bunch of maniacs at the Colorado Airport, ready to unleash the final disease on mankind, they’ve built the doomsday bio-weapon. They’re Nazis too! Once they’ve got enough disease built up, the motherfuckers will hold the world hostage or more likely just gas humanity like insects. This airport is where the chemtrails come from. One day they’ll prove this.

The other side of this technological doomsday battle is in production by the Scientists at CERN. The large Hadron Collider was designed to evaporate the world with the single push of a button. This would serve as a retaliatory threat to the creators of the Colorado airport bio-weapon/chemtrail factory.

But, there are yet more forces at work. The Reptilians have crawled out of their hiding-caves for the first time in millenia. They are an ancient race of evolved lizards which are indistinguishable from humans. Some say the lizards are already at the helm of all big business and government!

Meanwhile, my computer has been infected with a trojan that Anonymous is using to commit acts of cyber-terrorism. I hear that hard drive racing all night long, like it’s up to something. Updating Windows my ass. Fuck! The bastards are closing in on me! I am the poet-terrorist of their worst nightmare.

The UN is working with NASA on project bluebeam, a crazy light show that will start a new religion to take over the world. Two of my favorite artists are indicted in this conspiracy. Arthur C. Clarke and Stanley Kubrick created 2001: A Space Odyssey just to condition us for the new religion. I agree that they are prophets!

Osama Lives! We are for the truth, but ‘truther’ is an epithet. There is no truth, only Hate and Lies! We choose lies that keep America expanding. Capitalism! Terrorism! Economic crisis! We are afraid of opposing views, it is our culture. You want to change the culture? Make fun of it. Poetic terrorism. Osama Lives!