INTERNET — Just weeks after Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Academy Awards, the actor and rapper is announcing he will be divorcing his wife of 25 years, Jada Pinkett Smith.
Jada Pinkett Smith was photographed escorting Chris Rock on Hollywood Boulevard Wednesday after their final divorce papers were filed. Rock told paparazzi, “Big Willie’s mistake was I’m into GI Jane. She’s hot! I like it when a woman pops off.”
Rock was later seen striking a paparazzi photographer, who got up in Jada Pinkett Smith’s face with his camera. Rock dramatically slapped the camera and shouted, “You keep my woman outta your lens!” The gaggle of onlookers broke into uproarious laughter.
This second slapping incident follows the suspicious swatting of Chris Rock, which took place just hours after media first reported Rock’s steamy new public affair with Jada Pinkett Smith. Rock was unharmed, and there is no word on official attribution, only a vague message from a hacker group called BigWillieSec, warning Rock that they will “simp slap” him again, if he continues to fuck Jada.
Jada Pinkett Smith announced her affair with Rock on Monday, posting on Instagram that the couple “found love in the midst of controversy,” as they posed in front of the Hollywood sign. Amber Heard, embroiled in another celebrity drama focusing on female on male mind-control and abuse, commented on the Instagram post to congratulate Jada Pinkett Smith on being a “True Queen.”
Barrett Brown contacted Internet Chronicle, Saturday, demanding an urgent interview after recent comments about fake transexual activists caused a stir among the digital activist community. Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador spoke to Brown, who was visibly seething and high on synthetic drugs first developed by John McAfee, which have put him into a state of perpetual social media meltdown.
Dr. AHT: You’ve been demanding we change our show’s scheduling, throw together material out of nowhere, and jump to attention just for this interview. Fine, we’ve done it for you, are you happy? What the hell was so important anyway?
BB: Your former writer, Jaime Cochran was an FBI asset, and as such, I don’t know if she’s really dead, or just returned to her old life as a cisgender fed. She was part of the pilot program, probably FBI or CIA, which was developing fake trans infiltrators into Anonymous from the Woke Nazi Mafia, an assorted collection of former leaders of Anonymous bought out by Peter Thiel. Thiel created her fake trans persona just to see what they could get away with. The Nazis did it too, many of the Nazis were gay. Their victims also were gay.
Dr. AHT: Ah, that’s… interesting. You’ve previously said that you would exclusively appear only on what you’ve called “black activist media.” Why is that? And why have you made an exception for this interview?
BB: Black Activist Media knows what it’s like to be infiltrated. They can understand when I tell them, these trans people in Anonymous aren’t real. Almost none of them are real. It is very important for black activists to know Jeremy Hammond, Kirtaner, Libby, Neal Rauhauser, and everyone I’ve ever beefed with are feds, and also that the feds are using transexuality to evade detection. You see, white activists have trouble understanding the threat, no offense to you all, but I’m much more comfortable around black folks. In fact, being here with you white people is making me uncomfortable.
Dr. AHT: Offense taken, but I’m not sure at what exactly. How do you respond to allegations that you are a long-time associate of the racist Daily Stormer system administrator Weev?
BB: We used to play Crusader Kings, we’d take over Europe and the Middle East. So it’s a funny story, Weev was always in my chats and I kept getting kicked out of his. So we would fight it out, carve up Palestine between the two of us. He would just charge in like Bohemond, taking whatever he could, but I’m more strategic. Jersualem is won on the banks of the Nile, you know. To prove I am no longer associated with Weev, I have released his steam account publicly for you to also play games and network with him, if you’d like.
Dr. AHT: Right… So what exactly makes a trans person like Asshurt so much more dangerous than cisgender infiltrators? Are you saying it’s okay for cisgender people to associate with Nazis, but not for transgender people?
BB: I object to that. No, of course anyone who associates with Weev should be scrutinized, in fact ostracized, except for me, obviously, as I’ve taken the opportunity to dox his steam account, as you’ve seen. As for the trans activists, they change their names around. They wear makeup, they wear wigs, they seduce young men in Anonymous. Asshurt targeted me when I was raided by the fucking FBI. She was there in my tinychat, monitoring Project PM even as the FBI gathered outside of my door ready to charge in and brutalize me. She was working with my ex girlfriend at the time, Jenna Taylor, also an FBI agent, who is just as dangerous as any trans hackers working currently. Jenna and Asshurt, they had this secret premeditated back and forth about her being a gif, she put a shoe on her head, lightened the mood, softened me up before the FBI busted into my apartment. I’ve got the documents to prove all of this, which I will be dropping shortly. As such, I request that you stop suggesting that I am anti-trans.
Dr. AHT: So what’s all these tweets about you raping some woman who admitted to child molestation?
BB: She was a real bad girl. Just log onto my soundcloud and listen to her admit to all kinds of dirty things in our very sexual personal phone call together. It was consensual as hell. As for the pedophilia thing, what a freak. I’m into it.
DR. AHT: Right… I was a close personal friend of Asshurt, in fact we banged seven gram rocks together at Burning Man, in a foam yurt. She never once presented herself as a male. Why do you persist in saying she’s a fake trans?
BB: Why do you persist in saying that a fake trans is definitely not a fake trans, when I have the documents to prove that Jaime Cochran is not only a fake trans but is a Weev associate who has done many dangerous things to Anonymous. She is a troll and a liar, who collaborated with the FBI in my arrest, and as such, her alleged transexuality should be not only questioned, but annihilated.
Dr. AHT: Wow, annihilated. Very strong language there. Whatever happened to Pursuance?
BB: I’m just going to come out and say it. Pursuance was always a LARP. I just wanted to draw a lot of activists into my network and do some fundraising. I succeeded where others have failed, there was never going to be a software system coming out of Pursuance. Pursuance is about pursuing other higher things. For example, it’s how I met John McAfee, a great great man who was killed in prison due to his incredible work developing nootropic brain enhancement drugs that have totally reshaped my worldview. I used to scrape around for government methadones, suboxones, process them into something remotely slammable, and that was my shit. Straight to the blood, who gives a fuck. Now, I’m on fentanyl sometimes, but mostly it’s the pursuit of totally legal drugs that they can’t shut down, stuff that raises my insight. I get in fights with narrowboat mechanics if they give me even the slightest shit. Me and my fiance, my fiance and I, Sylvia, we had to get off the narrowboat life as it was restricting the usage and distribution of all these incredible designer drugs. It’s really the next big thing in activism, that’s why they Epstein’d McAfee, really. One might say Pursuance was about pursuing the newest mind enhancing drugs as well as some tight activist pussy. I wish more people would take these drugs, so they could see what Peter Thiel has been doing.
Dr. AHT: That’s an astounding answer Barrett, and it explains so much. This has been so insightful for our readers who are at a loss to understand your current behavior. As far as your work in activism, I think I speak for the entire internet when I’m asking you to just stop. You’re contributing nothing and the way you’ve used what you call the “black activist community” as a tool to air out your private, personal beefs is unconscionable, as is your association with Weev and your accusations leveled at trans hacktivists. Do you have any final thoughts, some work to plug, or comments for our readers?
BB: I haven’t done any activist work in a decade, so no. But also yes, your readers can get in contact with Pursuance on twitter if you are looking for some powerful new legal drugs that will peel back everyday reality and reveal the despicable dark web network of Peter Thiel, which is penetrating literally into every mind in the activist community.
Dr. AHT: Thanks Barrett, this has been an incredible waste of time. While we have a high regard for our readers, I’d like to warn them off of your drugged out narcissistic rage, which has become a real waste and a shame for everyone in the community that it has touched. God Bless, and Happy Easter Barry.
MOSCOW — Edward Snowden, the NSA whistleblower famous for revealing details of expansive domestic surveillance programs in the United States, has been conscripted by the Russian military. Currently, he is being forced at gunpoint to use his elite hacking abilities in spearheading cyberattacks on Ukraine.
This follows Snowden’s final tweet, in which he broke the new Russian misinformation laws by stating that he made a bad call on the war in Ukraine after weeks of desperately trying to convince his followers that it was never going to happen.
Snowden, knowing some of the access codes to secret American cybersystems hidden in Ukraine, uploaded encrypted “Whistleblower Warheads” into Hunter Biden’s CIA mainframes, causing them to leak sensitive information directly to Glenn Greenwald’s laptop in Brazil. Among these files are recipes for several new strains of COVID, hundreds of Biden crack smoking tiktok clips, designs for miniaturized grenade-sized nukes, and logs from Anonymous #OpRussia backchannels.
Snowden said he is having a hard time hacking into Ukraine’s Turkish-manufactured drones, saying, “I just don’t know what I’m doing. I’m trying to learn Turkish, but they’ve got this big guy who comes around the office waving a submachine gun in my face, and the sandwiches they’re feeding me are no good. Just the worst. All I want is to go home, see my wife and kids, but they’ve got me working 18 hour shifts here, sleeping in a janitor’s closet. All I end up doing is browsing twitter, dreaming up sweet comebacks for these concern trolling ghouls, even though I know if I fire off one tweet, Big Ivan will come in here and blast me to pieces on the spot.”
Andrew Auernheimer, also known as Weev, fled the United States a decade ago for Eastern Europe after single-handedly bringing the AT&T network to its knees. In his large leather chair at the Azov Battalion Cyberwarfare Operation Center, he unbuttoned his shirt to show the swastika beneath. “You know what this means? This means I’m against f-ggots like Snowden. Every day I’m mitigating his attacks, beating off to his suffering failures at penetrating my systems. What’s better is the mainstream media is finally embracing us Nazis. I’m not afraid of anything. Putin can’t touch me.”
Meme scholar and Trollenomics Professor Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador said of the epic struggle, “Weev’s Rasputin-like Meme Magic is the last bulwark holding back the return of the Soviet Union, but it’s not going to last. Rather than being based, he’s become very cringe and that always corrodes away at the ability to troll. Still, I wouldn’t count him out, just yet. Snowden on the other hand, he’s a powerhouse of technical ability and hacking, and he’s got his sweet little baby with a machine gun to its head. I’d like to see him hack his way out of that! He’s definitely got the edge in this one. Only one thing is certain: Between Weev and Snowden, everything hangs in the balance!”