Category: Obituaries

Another one bites the dust

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Obituaries

Barrett Brown murdered by the infamous Zetas cartel

Barrett Brown

DALLAS – Fans mourn the loss of Barrett Cockram Brown, who was found murdered in his modest home Sunday morning.

Police stated Brown died slowly from a controlled blood loss which took “at the very least,” several hours.

Coroners report Brown died at 3:32 AM CST on Sunday. Not all of Brown’s remains were recovered, and investigators suggested Brown’s testicles had been kept as a small trophy by a group of high-ranking members of the Zetas, a drug cartel Brown repeatedly threatened on YouTube.

Brown’s prolific writing career was sullied by his repeated attempts to act as a spokesperson for Anonymous, the hacktivist collective which largely treats Brown as a total pariah.

Brown’s recent book deal with Amazon, known enemy of Anonymous, created intense controversy because of Brown’s hunger for dirty corporate money to support his drug habits.

Brown is survived by a few junkie friends who have dedicated their latest binge to his memory.

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Entertainment Obituaries

Anonymous hack reveals Illuminati behind Whitney Houston’s murder

Tina Turner
Whitney Houston

Our close friends within Anonymous infiltrated the e-mail accounts of Illuminati agents several months ago, waiting for the kind of scoop we got this morning. The following is an uncensored excerpt from an Illuminati e-mail which has not been fully disclosed to the public because of its sensitive nature and the extreme discretion Anonymous uses when dealing with Illuminati material.

“The target was intercepted at Tru Hollywood and the poison was administered with very little altercation. The agent was disposed of using the established Jack Ruby method.”

Anonymous generally keeps Illuminati related hacks close to their belt, but found it outrageous that their beloved Whitney Houston – with similar eyebrows to the iconic Guy Fawkes masks – was murdered just for the purpose of distracting people from the massacres the Illuminati are currently directing in Syria.

Our analysts suggest that this is the final straw for the Illuminati. Anonymous will soon be swept away with a single campaign of false flag murders from the Illuminati, posing as angry j35t3r fans and Zetas.

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Obituaries

Investigators suggest Whitney Houston murdered

Whitney Houston

Los Angeles– Fans mourn the loss of Whitney Elizabeth Houston, who died Friday evening in her room at the Beverly Hilton.

Whitney Houston died from fatal injuries sustained after an apparent violent encounter in her hotel room, say police.

Whitney Houston was pronounced dead at 6:55 p.m. EST. Cause of death has not been determined by police. Sources close to the musician suggested Whitney Houston may have dressed like she was “asking for it.” She was 48.

Whitney Houston is survived by her mother Cessa Houston, who has so far refused to speak to media about the circumstances surrounding her daughter’s death.

Whitney Houston’s charity, The Whitney Houston Foundation For Children, suffered financial losses after rumors of Whitney Houston’s crack abuse caused major donors to withdraw pledged funds.

Houston’s tumultuous relationship with Bobby Brown was marked by rumors of physical and sexual abuse which has raised several questions about the nature of Houston’s death. UPDATE: TMZ is reporting investigators have interviewed Bobby Brown in relation to the murder of Whitney Houston. UPDATE: Click this link to find the truth behind Bobby Brown’s involvement!