Failing failures and the failure that fails them

This article’s about you, and what a miserable piece of shit you are. You know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the fact that you wake up every day and look at yourself, thinking, “This is it? This is who I am? I’m such a failure,” and then spend the rest of the day trying to live this fact down.

But the truth of the matter is, it ain’t going away – until you fucking die.

You worthless coward! You fiend! You…voter! You…TV-news-absorbant panty gusset! You sour pussy, you, who stands for nothing. Who lives to consume, fails to create, you who can not love, nor be loved. You fucking baby-boomer 60s-generation do-nothing hippies account in large part for what’s wrong with today’s society. Fuck the Man, right? By doing what exactly?

I’m sorry for your children, and for the state of modern politics, and for the Corporate States of America, and for the Police State, and for the little rabbits and the squirrels, and that rare breed of tundra cat that is almost extinct – but mostly – I’m just sorry I was born into the backed-up sewer that you call “the economy.” This shit that we circulate around calling money is to the economy what I jerk off and stain the sheets with is to my journalism professor. Worthless when it came, mostly problematic if I were to even attempt to do something with it, god damn if I don’t just want to forget about it.

Fuck this “human condition” (more like decondition) – fuck the status quo – fuck your family (stop having kids until we can straighten shit out PLEASE FOR THE FUCKING LOVE OF THE VIRGIN MARY’S DECENCY) – fuck your plans, because you won’t have the means to complete them – fuck it all. Things are so fucked up now that the economy can’t actually balance itself out anymore without jettisoning NASA. We aren’t Communists – we can’t just redistribute our wealth and reset everything to “ideal.” It doesn’t work that way (it would be very unfair to take away all that these 24-year-old CEOs have WORKED SO HARD for just so the rest of the population can have a decent shot at [par] quality of life). You see, it’s settling down right now, but the over-inflationary dynamic of our financial schematic, combined with the elite top .01% of the population experiencing a 600% increase in income is creating another bubble that will balloon up and pop in another five or ten years. And it’s not gonna fix itself.

So that’s it. Make a five-year-plan; but you’d better build it around unfucking yourself after ten years.

Or start bombing federal buildings.