Chef Troubador’s Michelin Star Clickbait Recipes

You wanna cook a Michelin Star meal? Get with the program, numbnuts, and get Dr. Troubador’s Clickbait Recipe Book: The bullshit that gaurantees your plates will be trending in minutes.

Here’s a simple menu you may try out, one night, when you’re wanting to burn through some cash in order to draw in some clicks.

For a starter, try Troubador’s Michelin Star Sous Vide Wagyu Smashburger sliders, doused with Japanese Hentai Sauce and topped with specially homemade $2,000 American Style Cheese, using only the finest imported Parmiagiano Reggiano.

No slider is complete without Michelin Star Chopped Onions. You just chop them up small as fuck. Chop those fuckers so small you might as well use a food processor. Just wait until your fans see them melting away to nothing inside of the pan. That’s Michelin Star winning small onions, right there.

Tease your guests, and your followers, with Bacon-wrapped Wagyu Chicken Poppers served with Ghost Pepper Ranch dipping sauce. It’s the Wagyu of Chicken, with bacon. And it’s so spicy, it’ll leave them begging for more. Anything more.

For a hip and refreshing deconstruction of postmodern haute dining trends see if you can slurp down some Fermented Lucky Charms Pasta served in a Wagyu Sausage Sauce made by a reduction of our special brew. First, a primary beer is made with 20 year aged Smack-Em’s Cereal, then doubled brewed with a peat-roasted Count Chocula mash, and finally dry-hopped with $10,000 worth of a Sativa-Indica Hybrid that was rated so well by High Times magazine, they couldn’t even remember the strain’s name. This dish is Chef Troubador’s favorite, and it will get you High as Fuck while you’re imagining that you’re eating the food of Gods.

There’s almost no way to follow up an entree such as that, unless you’re Chef Troubador. By using one secret and hilarious trick, you might fix up Michelin Star Fried Browned Butter, itself fried in clarified butter, and glazed in a Manuka honey butter sauce. It’s also known as the Triple James Beard Award Winning Butter Blast, and it goes great a la mode.

“Vegemite Ice Cream doesn’t sound good,” the haters in the comments will say, as you own them by creating something they couldn’t even imagine. This recipe cuts through the salt and flavor with a heaping portion of liquor. Using a $2000 jug of original Popcorn Sutton moonshine, a jar of vegemite, raw milk, and fermented “1,000 year old eggs” you will be shocked to see a thick and appealing custard set instantly, and then freeze into a smooth and edible ice cream in seconds with the magic of molecular gastronomy and liquid oxygen. Science youtubers and millions of slobs gawking at their phones will at once stand at attention, saluting the power of your Flaming Michelin Star Vegemite Ice Cream as it burns and freezes at the same time.

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