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Entertainment Obituaries

EXPERT: “Miley Cyrus Cataclysm Imminent”


Miley Is Predicted To Devastate Humanity In The Coming Weeks
Miley Is Predicted To Devastate Humanity In The Coming Weeks

Miley Cyrus is rumored by the religious elite to be small enough to disintegrate in the atmosphere but experts predict Miley could vaporize so rapidly, she will explode, said MIT physicist Dr. Angstrom Troubadour, creating an electromagnetic pulse so magnificent it will remain in the sky for days, and disable communication systems throughout the southern hemisphere.

“The fumes from the event will block out all sunlight,” Dr. Troubadour said, “and poison those who inhale Miley’s microscopic remains.”

As Voyager left the edge of the Solar System August of last year, the data reported back huge flashes of probability fractals estimated by Benford’s Law to represent the dissolution of Earthly homeostasis.

It’s expected to be a major PR pseudoevent,” said Miley publicist Jake Downer. “Wait till we get those hot photographs of the bits and pieces. We’ll see every last inside – we will see every atom of her body individually. Rumor has it, pictures already hit the torrent sites.”

Teen fan Arianna Simpson waited nearly 14 hours outside the Roanoke Civic Center Friday to see Miley in concert. Arianna said she and her father watched Miley grow up.

“She does a lot more provocative things now, but she still speaks to me, in my heart,” said Arianna.

This article is part of an ongoing series known as Miley Analytics
This article is part 1 in a 1 part series called Miley Analytics

If Miley’s toxic disintegration into the atmosphere does not kill her, then her nudity-enhanced spinout into oblivion could create a miniature black hole rivaling the size and sustainability of those found in the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva.

“Really though, we just wanted to take out the kids, and let them have a good time,” said Arianna’s father Lester Simpson. “They love Hanna Montana, and God knows I sure do.”

Miley is 420 Friendly, .su

By Hatesec

I am the hatest

One reply on “EXPERT: “Miley Cyrus Cataclysm Imminent””

she has morphed into rihanna so much. riri naked stick her backside and twerk. later miley is doing the same. Riri start smoking weed, miley start the fad few months after, riri tattooed her grandma on her, few months later miley tattoo her grandma on herself. riri stick her tongue out and give the fuc you sign, miley start to stick her tongue out too while doing the sign, riri swear miley start swearing, riri surround herself with rappers, surprise! miley start to surround herself with rappers. riri shaved the sides of her head and cut her hair miley shaved the sides of her head and cut her hair, everything rihanna do miley do it too, are they sharing some sort of secret with eachother? because the similarities cant be just mere coincidences.

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