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Jesus of Occupy, Anonymous Messiah

Just another incredibly lame Jesus archetype but this time applied to the modern world in a sad way.

There once was a very nonspecific kind of master who was infinitely wealthy because he had a machine which never stopped making money.  The master owned many trillions of slaves and did not want to lose his property, so he set up fences and guard towers which were manned at all times. Out of all the trillions, there was one young slave who was very strong and yearned for a life outside the fences. Time and time again, the slave escaped by overpowering the guards and blindly running into the darkness.

Once, the slave even made it to the north pole, but even then the master had enough money to hire men to hunt him down. Each time the strong slave was captured, he was lashed by the master’s guards as punishment. This may have been totally cruel, but it was the only way the master knew of to keep all of his trillions of slaves from running loose. When the slave received his lashings, he associated the pain with the feeling of pure freedom. The guards did not mind hitting the slave because it was their only true purpose anyway. Plus, the slave had injured their comrades many times while escaping, so most of them enjoyed it.

The continuing game between the slave and the guards became more unfair as they caught on to his behavior. Also, the master spent his infinite money on new ways to stop the slave. He built solid steel walls, dug deep trenches, and even installed cameras in the bathrooms. After a while, the master just had the slave locked away in a vault made of solid diamond.

While in the diamond chamber, The slave realized that the escapes were really a desperate and masochistic attempt at control. That was the only kind of freedom he had really ever wanted, the freedom to die at the hands of his master. Out of pity, the master let the slave out of the diamond chamber many years later. Rather than attempt another desperate escape, the slave killed a guard as soon as he had a chance. The other guards promptly shot the slave to death.

9 replies on “Jesus of Occupy, Anonymous Messiah”

The type of masochism described in this story isn’t just an occupy thing at all! Don’t even…

why do you consistently undermine my intelligence? do you genuinely think i’m retarded? i’ve just been getting my feet wet this whole time, trying to decide if you little monkeys are worth any real effort. this article got pretty close to inspiring me, but not close enough. try again.

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