Fans mourn the loss of Internet Chronicle, the satire site best known for its award-winning coverage of the Arab Spring, for which the site assumes all credit.
chronicle.su was pronounced dead at 4:45 a.m. EST. Cause of death was listed as “Complications associated with acquired immunodeficiency syndrome,” or AIDS. Editors recently celebrated the site’s 10-year anniversary by performing a seance to conjure the hate of Andrew Breitbart, who simply wanted the 99% to stop raping everyone, before dying unexpectedly. He was mourned by fans, too.
The Internet Chronicle is survived by its publisher, Lebal Drocer, Inc. as well as kilgoar and hatesec, the writers who created it.
“We don’t know what to tell you,” kilgoar said. “We thought people were reading it. We didn’t realize all our pageviews were ironic.”
“I’m just torn to pieces over it,” said hatesec, who was getting loaded on the evil side of town. “I can’t get out of bed. I wasn’t going to anyway, but now it’s like I can’t.”
Remaining assets are to be turned over to the EFF General Fund for Attacking Internet Liberty. Like whatever, just do what you’re going to do. We don’t give a fuck. We’re dead, get it?
The Chronicle suffered in the wake of a 2011 incident in which the writers were doxed and threatened into silence after unearthing the government’s scandalous co-option of the Anonymous hacker collective. The site was never the same again, as it bought us plenty of weed and books to smoke. Drowning in a torrent of bitcoin, Internet Chronicle is laid to rest.
Until the next episode.
Smoke weed everyday.
12 replies on “chronicle.su dead after 10 years”
god once said: chorizo u kickin against the pricks.
showz wut she knows.
RIP in peace.
Gee wisilkerl, that’s such a great post!
I’ve read things you people wouldn’t believe. buzzword salads without any relevance . i suffered from death jokes done to nausea. all those drivel will be lost in time… like jizz in the drain…
Time to die.
*Cuts a bitch
I like to party, not look artielcs up online. You made it happen.
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Please don't mind, Jessica . But your posts are getting increasingly boring. I was (still am) a regular reader and I don't feel like coming back and checking what you have updated. The round-ups aren't brilliant either (but , that's my opinion).
Peavey recomends no boost/gain pedals in the loop on the 5150. So I am actually running my chorus, delay, and noise suppressor in the loop; but run any overdrive pedal in front of the amp. The noise suppressor in the loop makes the amp dead quiet when you’re not playing.
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About fuckin time!
CoviD-19 is newfag AIDs.