INTERNET — Fans expressed both glee and dismay as Elon Musk announced the formation of a new American political party, Friday, in celebration of Independence Day.
Floating the names “X-ist,” and “America Party” Musk promised full adherence to all non-viral ideologies and accession of the manifest destiny of the United States government to full control over the solar system and ultimately the galaxy.
Perennial critics at YourAnonNews asked, “Why does America need another billionaire’s party?”
Musk fired back, limiting the visibility not only of the account but of the entire line of critical thought, identifying even its sarcastic expressions utilizing sophisticated AI.
In a scene reminiscent of Waco, ICE agents laid siege to Musk’s compound in Texas at dawn this morning, with denaturalization proceedings for the South African billionaire expected to revoke his citizenship by this afternoon.
Festooned with the latest military technology, ICE Command Trooper first class Henrique Von Braun of Pennsylvania projected his voice directly into Musk’s office with the LRAD’s laser-like intensity, “We’ve got ten semi trucks with scores of fiber optic FPV drones ready to deploy at a moments notice, and a dozen toxic gamers with itchy trigger fingers, Mr. Musk. Just come out peacefully, while you still have a chance at due process.”
“That’s a lie,” Von Braun winked at reporters, who watched on in astonishment as he wielded limitless paramilitary style power. “Hit him with the microwave beam, let’s see how that apartheid bastard likes a little Havana Syndrome.”
An ICE trooper shouldered a large weapon, resembling a large film camera. In the oversized monitor, reporters could make out the infrared light signature of an oddly barrel-chested man holding a child up as a human shield. “That ain’t gonna stop this weapon,” the trooper laughed with a cruel smirk. A humming and then the smell of burnt electronics was observed as both figures fell to the ground in anguished paroxysms.